Frerard – Forbidden Love
by MyChem4life16
Summary: Third Frerard. Don't want to give too much away, but Gerard's failing in music class and Mikey has an idea that will change Gerard for good. I think all good Frerard's have a little sexual content ;D  I do not own any MCR members, unfortunately.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Heyy guys, this is the first chapter so it's not very exciting, just setting the scene. But please continue reading! It gets better, I pwomise! **

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 1 – The Beginning**

Gerard's POV

Great. Fucking great. I mean, I know I've been messing around with school lately by skipping days but I didn't think I'd end up getting a call from my music teacher saying, 'You need to step up your game or I'll fail you'. Do you know how awkward it is receiving a call from your teacher? Not only did they ring me, they rang my fucking parents. Which means I got grounded. My life was so thrilling.

"Gerard!" Mom called from upstairs. Snapping me from my frustration. My room was in the basement, I liked how confined it was and separate from the outside world and I was surrounded with posters of my favourite bands. I loved getting lost in music, which is why I was so upset when I heard I was failing the subject. "Yea Mom?" I called back.

"I suggest you come upstairs" She didn't sound angry anymore so I let out a sigh of relief. Even though I knew I wasn't let off the hook just yet. I rolled over and pulled myself out of bed. As I walked up the stairs and toward the kitchen I squinted at the bright sun outside. I had one single beam of light in my room, I had an obsession with vampires and despite most people, I actually felt safer in the dark. I turned the corner and at down opposite my Mom at the kitchen table.

"Right Gerard, can you tell me why exactly you were skipping school" She asked, gripping a cup of tea. I wrinkled my nose at it, don't get me wrong I like tea, but it's no match to coffee. "Mom, haven't we been through this already?"

"I'm just trying to make sense of why you thought you could pick and choose days to go into school"

"Because I don't fit in. I hate it" I mumbled not wanting to have that conversation again.

"Well I don't want you moving schools again. It took a lot to get you into that school"

"I'm not asking you to" I said with a little more anger in my tone than I'd meant to. In response she slammed down her mug.

"Gerard Way. Don't you get angry at me when all I'm trying to do is help you."

"Sorry Mom" I almost whispered.

"As I was saying, we're not going to move you again. But we need something to give you that push" Just then Mikey walked through the door to the kitchen. Took in the scene before him and quietly sat down next to me.

"What's going on Mom?" He asked, picking up a cookie from the plate in front of him.

"If Gerard doesn't get his act together he's going to fail music" She replied, not taking her eyes of her tea-cup.

"What? But you're so creative Gerard!" Mikey genuinely sounded shocked.

"But I suck at guitar"

"So we're trying to find some way to get Gerard to pass" Mom cut in. We were silent for a moment before Mikey smiled.

"I have an idea"

"What?" I said, doubting that his idea would actually be any good. I love my brother, but sometimes he really did come out with complete bull.

"Well you know Frank?" Suddenly my Mom mirrored Mikey's grin.

"Frank Iero?" She asked.

"Yea, well he's an amazing guitarist. Maybe he could teach Gerard?"

"Hang on Mikes. I don't even know this guy, who says he'll help? Plus, I'd feel weird learning from someone younger than me"

"Cos Frank's a real nice guy, he's into the same kind of music as you and everything. And does age really matter? He'd only give you some tips on how to play guitar" Mikey responded, clearly pleased with his idea. Before I could say anything else, my Mom chimed into the conversation again.

"I think it's a brilliant idea. Michael would you mind calling Frank?" Mikey beamed and jumped out of his chair. I, on the other hand wasn't so keen on the idea, I didn't want Mikey's friends knowing I was failing music.

"Sure" And with that, he left the room, leaving me with my mother.

"Cheer up Gerard, you never know, you might end up being friends with him" She patted my hand and took her mug to the sink.

"Doubt it" I muttered. I was in a foul mood and all I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep.

"Can I go back to my room now please?" I asked, fidgeting in my seat.

"You spend too much time down there" She frowned.

"But I want to do some painting, I don't want to fail Art too" I figured my excuse to paint was pretty good as my Mom changed her tone and nodded. Finally I was free to do something to express myself.  
>As soon as I got into my room I began mindlessly splatting paint onto a blank canvas.<p>

"Gerard" Mikey called from behind my bedroom door, I hated people coming into my room without knocking or anything so Mikey had always warned me before he made an entrance.

"Yea, what is it?"

"Everything's sorted. Frank's coming over tomorrow"

_Oh goodie_, I thought.


	2. Chapter 2  I want to be nothing at all

**Chapter 2 – When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all**

I awoke to the sound of my alarm violently vibrating, it was one of those old fashioned ones where you have to hit the top to stop it from ringing. Reluctantly, I looked at the time, half 6. Brilliant. I forced myself out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.  
>"Gerard, don't forget Frank's coming over tonight"<br>"Yea. Thanks for reminding me"  
>"He's going to help you, you may as well show some gratitude" Mikey muttered as he walked into his bedroom. I felt kinda bad after that, Mikes was only trying to help but would you want your kid brother's friend to be teaching you how to play an instrument you're supposed to be good at? I rushed through my shower and adjusted my bed-hair in the mirror before giving up and heading towards the kitchen. I didn't like eating breakfast at that time in the morning, it just felt too early but my Mom would accuse me of under-eating if I didn't pick <em>something<em> up.  
>"There's apples?"<br>"Shit! Mom! You scared the hell outta me!" She placed her arm limply around my waist and kissed my cheek continuously.  
>"Sorry baby" She muttered in between kisses.<br>"Mom, are you serious? Get off!" I shrugged out of her grip, grabbed an apple and ran for the door. Just before I shut the door behind me, I'd heard Mikey squeal for help. She'd caught him too.

I hated Tuesdays, three hours of Maths in the morning was not my favourite subject. I sucked at it. Plus, my teacher hated my guts, probably because I would doodle all the way through his lessons but still. I was in mid shading of a spider I was sketching when he called my name.  
>"Gerard?"<br>"Yes Sir?" I asked, barely looking up from my piece of paper.  
>"Is that a note in front of you?"<br>"No sir"  
>"Then what is in front of you that you seem so intent on scribbling on during my class?" I met his gaze then and saw how odd looking he really was. He had a small tuft of blonde hair, small eyes that were placed way too close together and a long sharp nose that seemed to point at you. I had to stifle a laugh when I realised he reminded me of a parrot.<br>"Well?"  
>"I was just doodling Sir. Sorry"<br>"Well Gerard, if you spent half as much of your time studying Mathematics as you do doodling, you'd be the top of the class"  
>"Thank you Sir"<br>"That wasn't meant to be a compliment Mr. Way. How do you expect to make it in life without Maths?"  
>"I know it wasn't and to be honest, I don't really care what I do" I smiled back, I wasn't exactly a bad student but I didn't like the way Mr. Little talked to me sometimes. He gave me an evil glare before turning back to the board and apologising for me disrupting the class. I mean what the fuck? He didn't have to stop the class to talk to me! So, to relieve my anger I began doodling again frantically this time. Next to the spider I'd drawn a gun and a heart, not one of those crappy hearts girls always draw, but a bleeding one. Sometimes the most ugly things can be beautiful.<br>"Right class, hand in your exercise books to me and then you can go, no homework today" I heard many people's mutter the word 'yes' as the heard the words every student wanted to hear. I hadn't done any work that lesson. I didn't want Mr. Little to contact my Mom like my music teacher did, so I had to come up with some sort of excuse, and fast.  
>"Gerard, your exercise book please?" Mr. Little held his hand out to take my book, which was still untouched in my bag.<br>"Actually, I was thinking Mr. Little, would it be possible to be given some extra work to do at home?" As I said the words I saw shock pass over Mr. Little's face, which soon turned to a huge smile.  
>"I knew you were interested in Maths all along. You can do pages 168-170 for extra work, bring it in next lesson and I'll mark it for you during Lunch. You could join Maths club as well if you'd like too?" I hard to try my best not to laugh right in his face at that moment. Me? At Maths club?<br>"No thanks, not just yet, I'd rather just work on my own for now. But thank you anyway" I shoved my drawing into my bag and headed to the door.  
>"You did well today Gerard, despite our first little hiccup" He smiled, a genuine smile and I almost felt bad for the way I'd spoken back to him.<br>"Thank you Sir." And with that, I rushed out into the corridor and straight into some kid.  
>"Shit, sorry" We both muttered at the same time, there was a short awkward silence as neither of us knew what to say next.<br>"Don't worry about it, it was my fault" He smiled up at me, he had big hazel eyes and short black hair that stuck up at the back.  
>"Not really, I was the one that walked into you" I laughed nervously.<br>"Well, I wasn't looking where I was going. Both of our faults?" He laughed back.  
>"Okay, sure" I smiled and bent to pick up his book and stopped dead when I saw the name on it.<br>"Ah"  
>"What's wrong?" He asked peering down at me curiously.<br>"You're Frank?"


	3. Chapter 3 You got a hollow point smile

**Chapter 3 – I got a bulletproof heart, you got a hollow point smile**

"Yea, sorry, who are you?" Frank asked, as I straightened up and handed him his book. I met his questioning gaze.  
>"I'm Gerard, Mikey's brother" Realization crossed his face.<br>"Oh, cool. Yea, I see it now, sorry, you just don't look much like Mikey" Frank shifted uncomfortably, obviously feeling guilty that he couldn't tell I was related to Mikey.  
>"Good. I'm glad I don't."<br>"I take it you like being an individual then?" He smiled at me, and there was something about that smile that I couldn't forget. Something that showed me a glimpse of the person he was. And something that made me know, he was a genuinely decent guy.  
>"Well, I'm not one to follow the crowd"<br>"Me neither" I grinned at him, it was so difficult to find someone that didn't just follow everyone else. And just like that, the bell rang for lunch.  
>"You going to the cafeteria?" Frank asked.<br>"Yea, I am" I replied confused.  
>"Awesome, me too. Walk with me?" I looked at Frank, he was wearing black skinny jeans and a black shirt with a red tie. Despite the dark clothing he wore, he was surprisingly cute. Probably because of his height, he must've been about 5'4 and his beaming smile. It was then I realised I hadn't spoken for a while.<br>"You don't have to, it just makes sense if we're going the same way."  
>"Yea, I'll walk with you" His smile reappeared and we began walking out of the maths block towards the languages corridor.<br>"Cool. So, you want some help with playing guitar"  
>"Yea, I suck at it" I couldn't help but laugh. I was starting to think this whole learning from Frank thing wouldn't be so bad.<br>"I'm sure that isn't true" He nudged my arm.  
>"Trust me, you'll see tonight. I was never meant to play guitar"<br>"And I bet you're better at it then you're letting on" I pushed open the door that lead from the language block to the outside seating area and let Frank walk through.  
>"Thank you, how gentlemanly of you" He giggled.<br>"Is that even a word?" And by accident, I let the door shut on some random kid who pushed the door back angrily and shouted a few curses at me.  
>"Of course it's a word."<br>"I'm not sure it is" I smirked.  
>"Fine. I'm gonna look it up before I come round yours tonight" He said stubbornly.<br>"Really? Just to prove me wrong? Which I'm not"  
>"Yupp, what's your point? I like being right. You're wrong. Face it" He laughed. It was weird how much we were getting along seeing as I'd only met him about five minutes ago, I guess that's why Mikey was friends with him.<br>"Well we'll see. That reminds me, what time are you actually coming over tonight?"  
>"What time do you want me?" He asked and then his cheeks began to grow a gorgeous shade of scarlet.<br>"That sounded bad"  
>"Wow, you have a dirty mind." To my embarrassment I could feel my cheeks reddening as well so I hastily added, "How about seven thirty?"<br>"Seven thirty's good" Frank replied skipping ahead, I had to walk quicker to keep up with him. It was raining, but only slightly, and I liked the way it left little droplets of glistening water in Frank's hair. It reminded me of winter, which reminded me of Christmas.  
>"I'm so excited for Christmas" I said before I could stop myself.<br>"Ohmygoshmetoo!" Frank said all at once.  
>"I thought you would have called me crazy, seeing as it's three months away an' all" I laughed.<br>"No! This is when I start my shopping for it. I love Christmas, but it's Halloween first and that's the best holiday"  
>"I completely forgot about Halloween" I sighed, school really was messing with my head. How could I forget my favourite holiday?<br>"Ah I agree, Halloween is awesome" Frank span on his heel to face me and I accidently bumped into him.  
>"Sorry Gerard" Frank giggled, and then went to my side to walk next to me.<br>"I love it, I was actually born on Halloween"  
>"You were? That's awesome" I'd love to have been born on Halloween, it would be so cool.<br>"Yea and because of it, I'm going to get a tattoo saying Halloween on my knuckles" Frank explained excitedly.  
>"Really?"<br>"Yea, I've been saving up for ages"  
>"Hang on, it won't fit, Halloween's too many letters" I said, glancing down at my hands. Again Frank stopped, we'd almost reached the canteen and it was weird, but I didn't want to leave him just yet.<br>"See, H-A-L-L-O-W-E-E-N" I pointed to each finger separately and said each letter.  
>"It won't fit"<br>"Noooo, look" Frank touched my first finger.  
>"H" he moved onto the next.<br>"A" He continued looking down and I tried to ignore the softness of his skin.  
>"Then I'd have two L's on this finger, see, so then it goes, LL-O-W-E-E-N. And it fits" He smiled and looked into my eyes. I stood there for a moment, just smiling back at him until I realised it must have looked odd to the passers-by.<br>"I get it now" I said awkwardly.  
>"Cool. Umm, so I'll see you tonight?" Frank asked walking into the cafeteria ahead of me.<br>"Yea, see you at seven thirty" I called after him and he put his hand up in the air as a sort of wave before turning round the corner.  
>"Well that was weird" I muttered to myself.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4 Don't like what you see

**Chapter 4 – If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see, you can find out first-hand what it's like to be me.**

I sort of just stood there for a little while before walking after Frank into the cafeteria. It kind of annoyed me that he was such a nice guy, in all honesty, I was embarrassed that he'd have to teach me guitar. But I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and strolled into the cafeteria. It was a huge room with circular tables and chairs that you couldn't sit in for too long or your ass would start aching. I glanced around for my usual group of friends and spotted Ray sitting in one of the far corners, his 'fro stuck out like a sore thumb, and began weaving my way around the tables and groups of kids; it was ridiculous how each clique wouldn't talk to anyone outside their little 'group'.  
>"Hey Gerard" Ray spoke through a mouthful of pasta. I sat down next to him and stole a french-fry off of Bob's plate.<br>"Help yourself then" Bob muttered under his breath.  
>"You don't mind really" I joked.<br>"So how're things?" Ray asked putting his fork down and speaking quieter. He knew I'd been kinda depressed recently, I couldn't help it, I just felt like the world was moving around me and that I didn't really have a place in it.  
>"Better, I guess. Failing in some subjects" I didn't want to tell them that I was failing music. That would just be too embarrassing.<br>"Well that'll change if you actually bother coming to school" Bob laughed and playfully hit my arm, in response I threw Ray's tissue at him.  
>"I saw you talking to that Frank kid" Ray surprised me and suddenly I felt all defensive.<br>"Umm yea"  
>"Isn't he friends with Mikey?" Bob directed the question at Ray, which I thought was odd.<br>"Yea" I answered for him. "I bumped into him and we just got talking" I added.  
>"He's an amazing guitarist apparently" Ray said.<br>"Says you!" Ray was the best guitarist I knew, no one could ever beat him, he was like a young Brian May or Jimmy Hendrix. I zoned out after that, Bob and Ray had started some deep conversation about comic books which set me off daydreaming about comic book characters I could create. It was then that I saw Mikey, Frank and some girl sitting together a few tables away from me and as if Frank had noticed me looking over he lifted his head from a sheet of paper in front of him and our eyes met. He beamed at me and I felt my cheeks redden, he probably thought I was staring at him or something. I quickly averted my gaze.  
>"What about you Gerard?" Bob asked.<br>"Umm what? Sorry, zoned out" I replied quickly and Bob raised his eyebrows.  
>"Do you want to go to Lindsey's party this Friday? She said Bob could bring whoever he wants"<br>"Umm, yea, sure. Sounds good. How'd you get us an invite?"  
>"Family friend, she wants some huge party so, you can bring Mikey too if you want. But don't let him bring anyone else, she wants a big party but she doesn't want it to get out of hand"<br>"Which is fair enough" Ray added. The bell rang for the end of lunch and I hadn't even eaten which was unlike me, but, I shrugged it off and put my bag back over my shoulder before standing up.  
>"Hey guys" A voice called behind me and I spun round to see Mikey standing awkwardly behind me. He waved at Ray and Bob.<br>"Hey" They both said in unison.  
>"Hey Mikey, what's up?" I asked and he did a quick nod of his head to hint he wanted to speak to me alone.<br>"Wait for me guys? I won't be long" I asked Bob and Ray who nodded in reply. I walked to the side of the canteen away from the ears of others.  
>"What's up?"<br>"Well, I just thought you wouldn't want me to talk about Frank teaching you guitar in front of Bob and Ray"  
>"Good call" I smiled at him, he was probably the best brother anyone could ask for.<br>"Well, I was just going to give you Frank's number, I think you should have it in case he needs to cancel or whatever." He shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone. I handed him mine and absently he added the number.  
>"Kay, that's it. I'll see you after school?"<br>"Sure, see you later" I said before walking back towards Bob and Ray.  
>"Lindsey thinks you're hot" Bob laughed before I even reached the table.<br>"What? Really?" I asked, shocked that anyone would think I was 'hot'.  
>"Yea, she just texted me it"<br>"Well that's weird, tell her, thanks I guess" I laughed and we all began walking out of the cafeteria towards our form room. 'Oh great' I muttered under my breath when I realised we'd have to walk past Zack and his 'minions'. Zack was a complete douche bag. He'd go out of his way to make people  
>"Oh look who it is" He smiled smugly, obviously pleased that he had the opportunity to upset someone.<br>"The outcasts" He walked to block our path, I hated jocks.  
>"I'd rather be myself than follow the crowd and if that makes me an outcast then so be it" I said, proving to him that I'd had enough of his crap, he'd always been a twat to me and I was just about fed up of it.<br>"You mean you'd rather be a freak?" He laughed.  
>"And you'd rather be a sleaze ball" I returned.<br>"What did you say?" He asked punching his hand in a threatening motion.  
>"That you're a sleaze ball" We'd captured the attention of other students who were now watching our confrontation with curiosity.<br>"That's it Way. You've been asking for this" And he began to stride over to me, just in time for Bert to show up.  
>"Hey, Zack, mate, don't waste your time" He came and stood by me. His long hair hanging loose by his shoulders.<br>"Whatever Bert. I'll get you sooner or later Gerard" And with that Zack walked off.  
>"Why are you friends with him?" I asked turning to Bert, who was standing next to me.<br>"My Mom and his Mom are like best friends" He shrugged.  
>"Come with me to the toilets" Bert grabbed my arm and dragged me into the toilets where he began re-applying his eyeliner.<br>"I hate these toilets, they always stink of shit" I muttered.  
>"Yea well, they're the only room on site with mirrors..."<br>"'And mirrors are very important' yea, you've told me before" I laughed.  
>"I don't get how you don't like looking at yourself in the mirror"<br>"Because I don't like what I see" I murmured.  
>"Shut up Gerard. You're hot" He finished his eyes and turned to face me.<br>"How do I look?" He asked pouting his lips.  
>"Hot" I quoted what he's just called me. He looked around the room to see if anyone was around, leant forward, and to my surprise, kissed me.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5  Never go home

**Chapter 5 – Kill the party with me and never go home**

The rest of the day went quickly and soon I found myself painting in my room. I took the drawing of the spider and the heart and gun I did earlier out of my bag and began re-drawing it. As I began drawing the outline of the heart, I recalled the strange events that occurred in the school toilets earlier that day. I'd, of course, pushed Bert away I wasn't into guys.

"Bert? What the fuck dude?" I asked wide eyed and in reply he smirked at me.  
>"I'm straight Bert" I spoke again as he hadn't replied.<br>"And you know I am too. You know how I feel about girls"  
>"Then what the hell?" I almost shouted, I mean, if one of your friends, OF THE SAME SEX, just went up to you and kissed you, how would you react?<br>"Look, I like to play around. I was just trying something new" He said chewing on his chipped black polished nails. I gave him a questioning look.  
>"You love it really" He winked at me and left the toilets, expecting me to follow him. Which I had.<p>

It was an overall odd situation, I didn't have any feelings towards Bert, but I guess I'd always felt close to him. Close in a way I hadn't felt with anyone else. But no doubt about it, I didn't have feelings for him. I rummaged around my desk searching for my alarm clock. I was such an untidy person, pieces of screwed up paper, paint brushes, food wrappers and coffee mugs covered the desk. Eventually I found the old fashioned black alarm clock that I actually really liked; besides from the fact it would wake me from my peaceful slumber. It read 7:16, I jumped up immediately. Time seemed to fly by when I was painting. Frank would turn up in fifteen minutes, which meant I had little time to clean my room before Frank arrived and I still hadn't eaten anything. Getting my priorities straight I decided to eat first, after grabbing the wet paintbrush I walked up the stairs, put it in the sink in the little room off of the kitchen and went to inspect the contents of the fridge. With two teenagers in the house, it made sense that all that was in the fridge was butter, milk and a carrot. One, single carrot. I sighed and shut the fridge door. I'd just go and get a burger or something after Frank left. Thinking of Frank it reminded me that my room might as well be a demolition sight at the moment and hurried back down the stairs to my basement bedroom. I flicked on the light switch and opened the small window to air the room a little so it didn't smell so musky. I collected all the items of clothing that littered my bedroom floor and shoved them in the linen basket to be washed. Next, I set to work on my desk, throwing all the pieces of scrap paper into the bin, picked up all the paintbrushes and grabbed one of the coffee cups to put them in and then moved all the other mugs to one side of my desk. Finally I gathered all the comic books I'd accumulated over the past few weeks and piled them up on my newly arranged desk and there were a lot of them. I moved at lightning speed and so even managed to make my bed before I heard the doorbell ring upstairs. I was unexpectedly excited to see Frank, I got along with him so easily and even though I'd only known him for a day, I already felt comfortable around him. Which was unusual for me, it took me quite a while to trust people but I felt myself warming to him already. I took one of the comics off the pile and jumped on my bed so it looked like I hadn't just been cleaning my room manically. A knock came from my door.  
>"Come in" I called as natural as possible. What was wrong with me? Why did I care so much about how my room looked or how I sounded? The door opened and Mikey skipped into my room with footsteps following behind him.<br>"Dude. Your room is so tidy!" He sounded genuinely shocked. I panicked a little, should I maybe have left a few things strewn about so it looked more natural?  
>"Is it?" I faked ignorance, so I didn't seem so keen.<br>"Yea, really tidy. For you I mean." He joked before Frank emerged from the corner.  
>"Frank's here" He pointed behind him.<br>"No shit" I replied, before climbing out of bed and throwing my comic down.  
>"I'll leave you two to it then"<br>"Oh Mikes" I called after him before he could dash back up the stairs.  
>"Yup?"<br>"Tell Mom to buy some damn food, we have nothing in the house" And on cue, my stomach rumbled to prove my point.  
>"Got it. Have fun guys, I'll catch you later Frank" And with that he disappeared upstairs.<br>"Soooooooo" I said awkwardly, I didn't quite know what was going to happen. I looked over to Frank and saw him grinning with a guitar bag limply hanging over his shoulder. He was wearing the same thing as he was earlier, except he'd added gloves to his outfit.  
>"Hey" He beamed and took the bag off his shoulder and let it rest against his legs.<br>"Hey" I smiled back and groaned when my stomach rumbled again. I'd barely eaten anything that day.  
>"Hungry?" He Laughed.<br>"Yea, we have like no food in the house at all" I complained.  
>"Well I haven't eaten either. Want to grab something after this?" He asked sitting down on my bed next to me. I pulled my legs close up to my stomach as if it would shut it up. As if by magic it stopped groaning at me and instead was replaced by butterflies, for some unknown reason.<br>"Yea, that sounds good" I smiled, it did sound good. I'd like to spend more time with Frank.  
>"Awesome. So I don't really know what kinda stage you're at with guitar" He said crossing his legs.<br>"Neither. I'm just shit"  
>"I doubt that very much" He said and I thought I saw him faintly turn a shade of pink. But I dismissed it.<br>"Trust me" I said.  
>"Well, I'll just go over a few chords to start with." He unzipped his bag and pulled out a beautiful caramel coloured acoustic guitar.<br>"This is C" He said, placed his fingers in the correct place and began to strum. Moved his fingers and held down different strings.  
>"D" Again, he moved his fingers.<br>"And G" He then stopped and handed me his guitar.  
>"Be careful with her" I had to try hard to contain my laughter but a small giggle escaped my lips.<br>"Her?" Frank looked slightly embarrassed.  
>"Umm, yea. I think this guitar most resembles a she" I laughed louder this time.<br>"Whatever floats your boat" I joked and took the guitar, my face screwed up as I tried to remember what the first chord was the Frank had showed me. As if he read my mind, he answered my thoughts with.  
>"C" he took my hand and directed me to the right place. The butterflies returned in my stomach as I inhaled the smell of him. He smelt like coffee, golden syrup and something that reminded me of summer. In other words, he smelt good. Really good. It triggered something in me, something that made me want to get closer to him. But I fought against the urge and stayed put.<br>"Okay, let me try something else" Frank said as he scooted over to kneel behind me. He reached round me, took my hand in his and guided me back to the strings. He was so close, his chin was brushing my shoulder and made my skin tingle. I glanced over my shoulder at him, our faces inches apart, so close that if I moved ever so slightly, our lips would be touching.


	6. Chapter 6 You can runaway with me

**Chapter 6- You can runaway with me, anytime you want**

I stared into the deep pools of hazel that were Frank's gorgeous eyes and felt myself hypnotised by them. For those few seconds, I couldn't think, my brain had turned into a giant mush of tissue in my head. Sooner than I'd have liked, Frank made a murmuring sound and looked away from me. Suddenly I felt extremely embarrassed.  
>"Um, yea, try C again" Frank muttered scooting to sit next to me. He wouldn't look me in the eyes when I began strumming. I got through all the basic chords he'd taught me and after a little while, I began remembering what I'd learnt before. I couldn't concentrate properly though, I was too distracted. I was too confused about the moment I'd shared with Frank, I didn't know what it meant. I was more than aware that he was a HE, yet I'd felt something deep in the heart of me, something that made me feel like him being that close to me was <em>right<em>.  
>"Gerard, it's half eight" Frank stated glancing at his black strap watch that was covered with tiny white bats.<br>"Oh, really? That hour went quick. Want to get something to eat then?" I asked hoping he hadn't changed his mind.  
>"Yea, sure" He smiled. He really did have a beautiful smile, it made him look so innocent and cute.<br>"What's wrong Gerard?" Frank asked after I'd been staring all gooey-eyed at him.  
>"You have such a nice smile" I said before my brain could stop me and immediately I felt ridiculous. I could feel my cheeks burning. What the hell was wrong with me? <em>Way to act cool<em>, my brain screamed at me. Frank's laugh snapped me from my internal conversation.  
>"Sorry" I whispered, I felt so embarrassed!<br>"Gerard." Frank giggled and when I didn't reply he took my chin in his hand so I was forced to look at him in those eyes could get lost in forever.  
>"Yea?" My voice came out quiet and pathetic.<br>"Thank you. But yours is better" I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw him wink at me. My stomach went crazy with butterflies. He dropped my chin, skipped to my door and turned back round.  
>"Coming?" In response, I nodded. I didn't even want to risk talking; my voice would break and make me sound like an idiot. We walked up the stairs, called our goodbyes to Mikey and left my warm cosy house and stepped out into the cool night air. It was a beautiful evening; despite the whispering sound of the icy breeze it was surprisingly peaceful for New Jersey. It was one of those nights were the deep moonlight glowed all around you and the sparkling silver stars shone out against the jet black sky. I always preferred the night; there was something about it that made me feel complete, if that makes any sense. We began wandering down the path that lead towards the parade of shops, it was littered with empty bottles of beer and chip packets. I kicked one mindlessly out of my way, and smiled into the dusk.<br>"I love the night" Frank mused as if he had read my mind.  
>"Me too" I smiled, happy.<br>"It's way better than the day" He hummed.  
>"I completely agree" I glanced sideways at Frank, the street lamps highlighted his features, his beautiful complexion shined like a porcelain doll. So delicate, yet it looked so soft. His deep hazel eyes were lined lightly with eyeliner, emphasising the kind glint in them.<br>"There's something about it, that makes me feel, safe almost. Does that sound stupid?" He asked pulling the sleeves of his black shirt down to cover his arms.  
>"That's just what I was thinking" I beamed at him.<br>"I guess it's because I used to get bullied during the day and so I guess the night was like my safety blanket. It still is" I opened up to him, I trusted him and that made me happy. I had found someone I could trust, which is a huge thing for someone with trust issues.  
>"Still is?" He asked looking at me with what looked like sad eyes.<br>"Yea, well, the bullying hasn't exactly stopped completely but I don't care as much anymore" I answered truthfully and I could've sworn I saw Frank's hands ball up into fists.  
>"I've been through the same thing, I used to be shoved in lockers. Now they just call me names. But I don't care, at least I don't follow the crowd" I felt a surge of anger towards whoever had done that to him. How could they put someone as kind and friendly as Frank through that?<br>"But just know, if you never need anyone to talk to, I'm here. And if you ever need to get away from it all, you can runaway with me. Anytime you want" He smiled. Completely serious and all my anger disintegrated. In fact, I even had to stop myself from letting a tear of happiness fall from my eye as we approached the pizza shop with the clichéd name, 'Luigi's'.  
>"This okay?" I turned to face Frank who was biting his lip. For some stupid reason the butterflies in my stomach returned. Frank nodded and we entered the building, instantly we were greeted with the warm, fresh, scent of tomato and basil.<br>"Can I help you?" A teenage girl asked, her blonde hair was pulled tightly up in a pony tail and a blue hat covered the greasiness of it.  
>"Wanna get a big one and just share?" I turned to ask Frank who had sat down in one of the plastic chairs that looked like they belonged outside.<br>"Yea, that's cool" So I ordered one large Margareta and waited patiently for it to be cooked. Besides me and Frank, an old dude was sitting down eating a large pizza to himself. He was big, to say the least and balding, but had clearly tried to cover it because he had pushed one side of his silver-grey hair over the top. Despite the fact he was losing it off the top of his head, he seemed to be growing extra around his chin. I'd never seen a beard so long in my life, I swear he could have wrapped it around himself as a scarf. Frank saw me staring at the man and laughed as if he knew what I was thinking about, which to be honest, he probably did. We seemed to be on the same wavelength a lot of the time. I turned my attention to watching the pizza being made; I never understood how they could flip the dough in the air and catch it without any of it falling apart. Once, Mikey and I had tried to make pizza, let's just say it all ended in an explosion of flour. We weren't allowed to cook together again after that.  
>"Margareta" The blonde girl called from behind the counter, placing the pizza box down on the counter. Frank jumped up and grabbed it, handing me some money with his free hand. I paid the girl, even though she wasn't paying the slightest attention to me, she was practically drooling over Frank, who seemed to have no clue. The girl almost threw the tissues and sauces at us before we left the pizza shop.<br>"Someone was popular in there" I joked, feeling slightly annoyed at the girl, for some pathetic reason. Frank stepped ahead of me into the crisp night and again I was immediately relaxed by the calmness of it. We walked towards the park opposite, which a few months earlier they'd found a dead body in the lake. I was surprised at how unfazed I was by it.  
>"What do you mean?" Frank asked plopping down onto the first bench opposite the glittery water and taking a slice of the steaming hot pizza.<br>"That girl in there, her jaw was practically on the floor staring at you" I laughed taking my own slice and burning my tongue with the first bite.  
>"Oh, I didn't notice. Are you sure you're not just imagining things Gerard?" He winked at me and I looked away from him.<br>"If I'd looked closer I probably would've seen her drooling. She must've thought you were hot" I said it without thinking, I really needed to take control of my stupid mouth. Or at least THINK before I fucking speak and make a fool out of myself. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Frank swallow his mouthful of pizza and shift on the bench to sit facing me.  
>"And what do you think?" The question caught me off guard and I almost chocked on my piece of pizza, which would have been very unattractive. I sat to mirror Frank's position but avoided his gaze.<br>"What do you mean?" My voice came out raspy and barely audible.  
>"Do you think I'm hot?" He asked, smiling in a flirty way. I met his eyes then and they mesmerized me.<br>"Yea" Word vomit is a bitch. My face burned with embarrassment and I actually shoved my face in the pizza box. Yup, straight in there. Way to make a fool out of yourself. There I was sitting with my brother's friend, with my face in a pizza and with part of me feeling as though I were falling for him.

Falling for a boy.

Brilliant.


	7. Chapter 7 Get up and go

**Hey guys, just want to say a quick thank you for reading and reviewing the chapters so far. I hope you like this one; I'm trying to keep the whole thing original. Anyway, PLEASE review so I know what you think, would mean olot to me :3 Thaaaaaaaaaaaanks.**

**Keep Running,**

**Blue**

**Xo**

**Chapter 7 – Get up and go**

I was beginning to get used to the close proximity between my face and the pizza, although it was starting to burn a little.  
>"Gerard?" Frank laughed from beside me, it was quite high pitched but it was the cutest thing I'd ever heard.<br>"Mmm" I mumbled not looking up from the pizza box.  
>"Are you planning on coming out anytime soon?" I almost chocked. How did he know I was falling for him? I certainly wasn't ready to 'come out' yet. I'd only just found out about my feelings myself! My head shot up, consequently knocking the pizza box onto the floor, because I'm that clever. It wasn't until I looked at Frank that I realised he didn't mean 'coming out' as a gay term, he meant removing myself from the pizza box. I slapped myself straight on the face. The whole thing was a disaster but Frank seemed to find it hilarious. So, in reply, I groaned and wiped the tomato off my face. Tears were actually falling from Frank's eyes; it really wasn't funny, I thought, although, I had to avert my gaze because if I looked at him I'd probably laugh. Involuntarily and probably looking extremely childish, I stuck my bottom lip out.<br>"Ge-" Frank started, but another round of giggles encapsulated him. I crossed my arms and turned away from him, sticking my chin in the air.  
>"Okay, it'd be so much easier to take you seriously if you didn't have a tomato in your hair" He managed between laughs and once again, I felt ridiculous. I threw my hands up to my head searching for the piece of salad that was supposedly stuck in my mop of black hair. Frank had stopped laughing and scooted along the bench closer to me. I swear, if someone were to analyse my body, they'd have literally seen my heart stop beating for just a second.<br>"Gerard?" I turned around to face him and met those beautiful eyes once again.  
>"Let me" And he plucked the red fruit from my hair and flicked it onto the ground before meeting my eyes again.<br>"I think you're hot too by the way" He winked and I stopped breathing. I literally stopped breathing. He was so close, his breath was tickling my skin, making goose-bumps appear all over my arms.  
>"Thanks" I stuttered, taking a deep breath of air before I passed out.<br>"Anytime" He replied, his eyes smouldering. All too soon I heard a high pitched beeping, a frown crossed over Frank's face.  
>"Sorry. I have to go" He murmured looking kinda upset.<br>"Already?" I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice; I didn't want him to go.  
>"Umm, Gerard, it's 10oclock" He giggled. Was it really that late? It seemed like ten minutes ago he'd arrived at my house. <em>Time flies when you're having fun<em>, I thought to myself.  
>"Oh" I replied idiotically.<br>"I guess I'll see you around?" He asked standing from the bench and wiping down his jeans.  
>"Umm, yea." I said and stood up. I felt kinda awkward, I didn't know whether we'd hug or just wave or whatever.<br>"Bye then" He lifted his hand in the same half-wave he'd done at school earlier and began walking in the opposite direction. I let out a huge sigh and began walking back the way we came, I managed one step before I heard the sound that part of me was waiting to hear.  
>"Gerard?" Frank was walking back towards me, I couldn't stop the grin that immediately reached my face.<br>"Yea?" I asked, happiness evident in my voice.  
>"Can I have your number? It'd be easier that way, like if I have to cancel on our little 'lesson' or if you have to" He lifted his fingers and air-quoted the word 'lesson'.<br>"Yea, okay" And with that he handed me his phone to put my number in. I quickly punched in my number and saved it under Gerard before handing the phone back.  
>"Cool. I'll text you" He locked his phone and shoved it back in his pocket. Before I could get a hold of myself, he embraced me in a hug. I was in shock, so my arms hung limply around him. He giggled and pulled away, not looking back as he shouted over his shoulder, "See-ya Gee".<br>I shouldn't be left alone with my thoughts. Ever. The second I began walking, my mind bombarded me with questions and statements.  
><em>'When's he going to text?' 'He called me hot', 'Why did I have to make such a fool out of myself?', 'He called me Gee, he must feel comfortable around me', 'He hugged me', 'Will he text me tonight?', 'Will I see him tomorrow' 'He called me hot, ME. HOT. He called me hot, he called me hot, he called ME, HOT'<br>_The thoughts wouldn't stop, I couldn't stop thinking about him and what had happened between us. The way he made me feel just be sitting close to me. My brain started hurting and so I had to put my headphones in and blast the thoughts out with music.

I retraced our steps all the way back to my house, pausing before opening the door. I liked the way the cool air caressed my skin and calmed me down. Sighing at my stupidity for falling for one of Mikey's best friends. I fumbled about my pocket for my keys, finally found them and entered my house. The lights were all off, apart from the ones in the back room. The familiar musky scent of my home greeted me.  
>"Is that you home Gerard?" My Dad called from the back of the house.<br>"Yea" I called back, kicking my shoes off and placing them on the rack. I started walking towards the room, from where my Dad called me from. Both of my parents were laying on the couch, my Mom's head was resting on my Dad's chest; she was asleep and lightly snoring.  
>"Did you have a nice day?" He asked speaking quietly.<br>"Yea, it was good thanks" I said glancing at the television to see he was watching 'Friends'.  
>"How was yours?" I added.<br>"Hard work" He looked back at the television and laughed at some joke one of the characters made.  
>"Cool. I'm gonna go to bed now" I said, sneakily taking a gulp from my Dad's mug of coffee while he was busy watching the screen. We said our good-nights and, after brushing my teeth, I walked down the stairs to my room. I couldn't help but check my phone out of curiosity. Just to see if Frank had texted me. Nothing. My heart sunk a little but I shrugged it off and climbed into bed. My last conscious thought was, of course, of him.<p>

By the end of the week, I honestly thought Frank wanted nothing to do with me after the whole, head in pizza incident. I thought back over the whole evening as I got ready for Lindsey's party, I was such a failure of a guy. My hair was a mess, so there was no point in trying to do anything about it. I just ran my fingers through it and applied a little amount of eyeliner to my eyes. Not so that it was really obvious, but enough so that it hid the dark circles that surrounded them and quite frankly made me look like a racoon (And not even in a cool way, might I add.) I opened my wardrobe to see what I could wear and I couldn't help but wish that Frank was going. I was starting to sound like a teenage girl. In the end I settled for a black tee, my black skinny jeans with my studded belt and a black jacket. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I wondered how Frank could be so perfect and I could be so, well, imperfect.  
>"What's wrong now Gee?" Mikey asked hovering by my door, knowing perfectly well that I'd snap at him if he took one step into my room without permission.<br>"I'm sick of seeing my face." I groaned shutting the wardrobe door to hide my reflection and turned to face Mikey. He opened his mouth to reply but I cut him off.  
>"And I'm allowed to be sick of seeing my face, 'cause it's my fucking face" I added, I was in a rather foul mood. Probably, because I hadn't seen or heard from Frank since Tuesday.<br>"Whatever Gerard. Anyway, are you ready?" Mikey asked, he seemed to be bouncing on the spot, which cheered me up a little. Mikey and I weren't ever really invited to parties, I was usually the loner kid that would get drunk by myself a lot, so he was pretty psyched.  
>"Yea, I'm ready." I replied and Mikey looked at me expectantly as I slouched down on my bed.<br>"What?" I asked when he wouldn't stop looking at me.  
>"C'mon Gerard, get up and go!" He almost sang. Man. He really was excited.<br>"Dude. Calm down, we have to wait for Ray and Bob, they're giving us a lift" I got up anyway and grabbed my keys, after spraying almost a whole can of deodorant on myself.  
>"You make them sound like a couple Gerard" Mikey laughed between coughs.<br>"They might as well be sometimes Mikes" I ruffled his newly straightened hair, causing him to hit me in retaliation. That boy was such a stereotypical girl about his hair sometimes. At that moment the doorbell rang and we both sprinted up the stairs, childishly racing each other to see who could open the door first. I, of course, won.  
>"Um, you guys ready?" Bob asked looking from both Mikey to me with a questioning look.<br>"Dude. We're. So. Unfit" Mikey managed between breaths, his cheeks were almost as red as the shirt he was wearing.  
>"Speak for yourself" I managed to pant back. In reply, Bob just turned around and walked to his car. Ray had already called the front seat so Mikey and I had to squish into the back.<br>"Bob, why is your car pink?" Mikey asked.  
>"It is NOT pink. It's red. It's just the lighting" He muttered in reply.<br>"Looks pink to me" Mikey whispered under his breath and Ray let out a laugh that set us all off, well, all of us except Bob, who gripped the steering wheel tightly. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and when I took it out to see who had texted me, my heart went insane.


	8. Chapter 8 Heart attack in black hair dye

**Heyy, just quickly, again, want to thank you all for reading and adding this to your favourite stories or your story alerts and thank you for adding me to your favourite authors. I'm very happy :3  
>Anyway, my internet's down at home and will be for quite a while so I've had to write this at home and upload it at college, just because I don't want to lose any of you lovely readers. Please review, it will encourage me to write more quicker :P Not trying to blackmail you guys or anything xD Anyway, hope you like this chapter I think it's pretty shit but let me know what you think! I love y'all.<strong>

**Keep Running,**

**Blue**

**Xo**

**Chapter 8 – Heart attack in black hair dye**

I stared dumbfounded at my phone, cursing quietly to myself that I should have spent longer getting ready. Part of me was ecstatic from this news but another part of me was numb with nerves. It was, quite frankly, (no pun intended), ridiculous the way I was reacting but I couldn't help it. I re-read the text, just to make sure my hormone crazed self wasn't imagining what I'd read.  
><em>'Hey Gerard, it's Frank. You going to Lindsey's tonight? Cos I am and I know Mikey is too. Xo'<br>_Nope. I'd definitely read it correctly. Frank was going to be at Lindsey's party and I looked like the fucking grim reaper in all the black clothing I was wearing. Not to mention I was wearing eyeliner which would probably smudge down my face because I sweat when I'm nervous. How attractive. I have no idea why I'd become so nervous, I guess it was because of the fact that because it was a party, there'd be alcohol and when alcohol and I mix, it's Gerard Way's feelings out in the open for everyone to see. I didn't want Frank to know how I felt about him, ever. He'd think I was some pervert going for his brother's friends. If only this time I had a pizza box to hide my face in.  
>"Something wrong Gerard?" Mikey asked staring at me from the seat next to me. I could see him shift in his seat to look over my shoulder at the screen of my cell. I quickly pressed the 'reply' button so that Frank's message would disappear.<br>"Nope. Just forgot to bring any booze" I quickly replied. It wasn't exactly a lie, I mean; I HAD forgotten to take any alcohol with me. But it wasn't as if that was actually bothering me.  
>"Oh. I'm sure there'll be some there" Mikey said, sounding almost bored.<br>"There will be for certain, plus even if there isn't, you can have some of mine dude. I have two crates of beer" Bob chimed in, which caused Ray to question why he needed two crates for one night. I looked back down to my cell and tapped my fingers lightly on the keys, not quite knowing how to reply. Mentally slapping myself, I began to type a reply.  
>'<em>Yea, I'm going. I guess I'll see you there. Xo<em>' I tried to sound as unexcited and un-phased as I could, when, in reality, my insides where twisting with nervousness and excitement mashed into one. 

It didn't take us long to arrive at Lindsey's house, Bob must have known the quickest route as he'd probably done the journey a thousand times, what with them being family friends and all. I climbed out of the car and held the door open for Mikey.  
>"Thanks for the ride Bob" I called across the car as Bob stepped out and slammed his door.<br>"No problem" He replied, I shut the door after Mikey and he locked it, before walking up to us.  
>"Yea thanks, even if it is pink" Mikey added, it was obvious that Ray was trying not to laugh because his whole body was shaking, causing his fro to bounce back and forth.<br>"You're dead Mikey" And with that Bob chased Mikey into the house that we'd pulled up to. It wasn't huge, but it wasn't small, it looked welcoming and almost cottage-like from the outside. A hedge blocked off the pavement from the house's front garden and a pavement of gravel lead up to the scarlet door which was held open by a bronze statue of a cat. I'd always been a dog person so the statue didn't really intrigue me much.  
>"I've gotta see this" Ray announced bounding in after Mikey and Bob. This left me to wander into the house alone. I was greeted by blaring rock music, which was a pleasant surprise as I thought parties always played crappy hip-hop. I saw Ray's fro disappear around the corner of the corridor so I followed the direction he'd gone in, quietly passing a group of girls who already looked drunk, talking loudly about how one of them really liked this guy that was '<em>way out of her league<em>'. I turned right into the room where Ray had gone, the lights were low and bodies were grinding against each other to the beat of the music. I couldn't see Bob, Mikey or Ray anywhere and I felt awkward standing alone so I began to weave my way through the sea of couples, searching the heads for a familiar face, when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I quickly spun round almost knocking a drink out of a drunken guy's hand. Frank was standing there, smiling brightly at me with two cans of beer in his hand. A lump rose in my throat, he was wearing a white shirt with a pinkie-red tie, a black hoodie with the hood pulled up and skeleton fingerless gloves, (which were awesome). His tight black skinny jeans had a belt identical to mine looped through and his eyes were lined with red, making the hazel in his eyes shine beautifully and for a moment, made me speechless. The guy seriously must have fallen from heaven or something, no one else made my insides turn to mush without a single word. He was so beautiful he was like a heart attack in black hair dye, my heart literally stopped beating when I saw him.  
>"Hey" He spoke loud enough for me to hear him over the music.<br>"Hey" I managed to say back, how I did it, I have no idea, but my voice didn't actually break.  
>"Want a beer?" He asked holding up one of the cans for me to take. Which, I thanked him for and opened immediately. It was a risk that I'd spill all my feelings for him, but I really needed to calm my nerves so I quickly downed the beer and crushed the empty can in my hand.<br>"Wow. Someone's planning on getting drunk tonight" Frank laughed and copied what I'd just done. I smiled at him questioningly.  
>"Well, if you're getting drunk, I might as well too" He then pointed to an open door, which I could see lead into the kitchen, and he began walking towards it, with me following closely behind. As I walked into the room, I noticed it was practically spotless, the complete opposite of my house, where nothing had a 'place'. Frank moved to the fridge and pulled out another two beers.<br>"You can share mine, I bought plenty" I said my thanks and downed another beer, not meaning to drink it as fast as the previous one but I saw that Frank had already finished his and had started on his third so I thought I might as well. Besides, I wasn't exactly a lightweight, two beers wouldn't affect me. He smiled and threw me another and, plus, when Frank ran out, I could go and find Bob to grab a few more beers.  
>"So, how do you know Lindsey?" Frank asked, leaning back against the counter surface, he was drinking this one more slowly, so I followed suit.<br>"I don't really know her that well, she's family friends with Bob and he was allowed to invite whoever so, here I am" I did this stupid arm wave, maybe the alcohol had hit me more than I'd thought it would. Frank laughed though, which made me smile like some happy toddler.  
>"How about you?" I asked taking a sip of my beer, which was tasting sweeter with each mouthful.<br>"She's in my year at school, we're in the same English class" He answered nonchalantly before draining the last of his can. Before I could even finish mine, Frank had thrust another can into my hand.  
>"Are you trying to get me drunk?" I asked jokingly, but I finished my third and went onto my fourth.<br>"Maybe" He winked, which made me almost choke mid-sip. It was then that Mikey ran in, red-faced.  
>"Gerard! Frank!" He screamed at the two of us, before almost skidding into the fridge.<br>"Woah, what's happened Mikey?" I asked laughing and drinking more of my beer.  
>"She's here" He whispered to us as Frank and I shared a confused look.<br>"Who's here?" Frank murmured back. At this point Mikey was practically jogging on the spot, switching from foot to foot. I'd never seen him look so nervous before in my life.  
>"Alicia" He whispered back, looking at us desperately for help.<br>"Oh, Alicia" I said, maybe a little too loud because Mikey yelped and hit me hard on my arm.  
>"Sorry" I muttered, rubbing where he'd hit, it was definitely going to bruise. Who'd have thought my little weedy brother could hit me so hard it'd bruise?<br>"What am I going to do?" He whined, sinking to the floor of the kitchen and rocking back and forth like a little lost boy. Mikey had a huge crush on Alicia, I'd never seen her but I'd heard him talk about her all the time. Apparently, whenever he'd work up the courage to talk to her, his voice would catch in his throat and he wouldn't be able to make a coherent sentence. I knew exactly how he felt. I crouched down to sit next to him and handed him what was left of my beer. He took it gratefully without even looking and downed the whole thing.  
>"There was barely anything in there Gerard" He moaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back.<br>"What's wrong with him?" A girl asked standing in the doorway with a bottle of vodka. She wore a red and black tartan skirt with lace boots and fishnet tights, with a strappy black top that emphasised her cleavage. Her black hair was tied in school-girl bunches and her bright red lips stood out against her pale complexion.  
>"Hey Lindsey" Frank smiled throwing away his empty cans.<br>"He's just down 'cause he didn't bring enough alcohol" I lied quickly before Frank could butt in.  
>"Oh. Well you guys can finish this, I have plenty more upstairs" She handed me the half full bottle of vodka, normally I wouldn't drink something that someone I didn't really know had drunk out of, but it was alcohol and Mikey needed it.<br>"Thanks" I smiled taking the bottle off her.  
>"You're welcome Gerard" I suddenly became increasingly aware of the fact that this was the girl that had thought I was hot and before my cheeks could begin to blush I drank a mouthful of vodka. I'd forgotten how much that stuff burns your throat and it took everything in me not to choke. I handed it to Mikey who took a long gulp before handing it to Frank.<br>"So guys" Lindsey leant against the door seductively.  
>"Who wants to play spin the bottle?"<p> 


	9. Chapter 9 Rip into your heart

**Helloooo beautiful readers :3 Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. Hope you'll all still read this chapter. It's a long-en in comparison to my other chapters :') Thank you for reading and reviewing the previous chapters :) Please review this one; I'm actually desperate to know what y'all think of it xD**

**Keep Running,**

**Blue**

**Xo**

**Chapter 9 – Ice cold hands rip into your heart**

I didn't really understand what was going on until I was pushed into a little room off of the kitchen with beanbag chairs and an old computer in the corner. There were about eight of us sitting in a tight circle, including me, Frank, Mikey and Lindsey. There were then three other girls and another guy, one of the girls had long dark hair that was pushed to one side, with neat curls dangling down past her shoulders. I'd guessed she was Alicia as Mikey couldn't take his eyes off of her. Frank sat across the circle, to the right of me and I tried not to look up and meet his gaze, I knew my cheeks would flush red and give him an insight of my feelings towards him. He was sat next to Lindsey, who was downing a bottle of something to use for the spinner. When she'd finished every last drop she placed the bottle in the middle of the circle and suddenly I felt like I was going to be sick. I thought it was slightly odd that Lindsey had dragged a few of us off into a separate room, leaving a bunch of drunken teenagers to riot about in her living room but I shrugged it off, I had more important things to worry about.  
>"Right guys, are you ready?" Lindsey slurred and spun the bottle. My palms began to sweat, I never agreed to play the game, yet somehow, there I was. It landed on a red haired girl, with piercing green eyes and tunnels in her ears. She then lent forward and spun the bottle again. I was really panicking by that point, I didn't really feel like kissing someone I didn't know. To my relief, it landed on the other guy that was sitting next to Alicia. I didn't really know where to look when they lent across the circle to kiss, as I averted my gaze, I caught a glimpse of Frank looking at me. When I met his gaze, he winked at me and, instead of acting like a 10 year old and freaking out, I winked back. I suppose the alcohol had gotten to me. I don't think Frank had really expected that reaction from me, but in response he smiled a beautiful crooked smile before looking at Lindsey and the guy that had kissed the redhead. He must have already spun the bottle. Then when they broke apart, the bottle had spun again and this time, it had landed on me. I almost choked. Lindsey leant forward, giving me a look of lust almost, before pressing her lips against mine. Luckily, it was just a peck. But then it dawned on me that it was now my turn to spin the bottle. As it was rotating around the circle, part of me deep down was screaming,<em> 'Let it be Frank. Let it be Frank'. <em>But this was the real world, not a fairy tale where things always work out for the best. No. This was real life. And real life, is a bitch. It landed on Lindsey. Which meant we'd have to kiss again. But, not only that, we'd have to kiss open mouth. Great. She beamed at a girl with short brown hair, that hung delicately above her shoulders and then turned towards me. Our lips touched again and slowly she opened her mouth and forced her tongue through my parted lips. She wasn't exactly a bad kisser, but I could only focus on two things. One, she tasted like vodka and some sort of food item, which was quite overpowering and not in a good way, might I add. And two, she wasn't Frank. After what felt like minutes but was probably more like seconds, I pulled away. Perhaps a little too soon, because she looked hurt but scooted back to her position in the circle. I wasn't involved in the game all too much, thankfully, but I couldn't help but hope that I'd be able to kiss Frank.  
>"Your turn Jamia" Lindsey laughed, falling into the lap of the other guy, that I still didn't know the name of. The girl with the short cropped brown hair leant forward to spin the bottle and my heart sank. The way she crawled over to Frank and pressed her lips against his so forcefully made my heart feel as if someone with ice cold hands had ripped my heart out and stabbed it repeatedly. I'm pretty sure she'd even parted her lips against his.<br>"Get in there J!" The redhead shouted whilst glugging down a bottle of wine. My hands balled up into fists, I wanted a black hole to open up and swallow me whole. Finally, they broke apart and the girl did look slightly embarrassed to be fair but I couldn't help but want to strangle her. I guess I wasn't the only one that had feelings for Frank. It was then Frank's turn to spin the bottle. I couldn't handle seeing him kiss someone else again and so I abruptly got up and stormed through the kitchen and spotted an open door, leading to the back garden where all the smokers were. I sulked outside and lit up one of my cigarettes, there was one other person outside with me, but they finished their fag pretty quick and hurriedly returned to the party. The second I was alone I dropped to the floor, my legs couldn't hold me up anymore, I bit back the tears that were forming in my eyes as I inhaled the smoke. I needed it to calm me.  
>"Gerard" A voice called from behind me, I wanted it to be Frank standing there. But again, I wasn't so lucky. Mikey looked at me worriedly as he approached me.<br>"What's wrong?" He asked sitting down next to me.  
>"Nothing. Just needed a fag. Plus, the alcohol's got to me" I added quickly.<br>"Gerard, this is kind of awkward for me to ask, but umm" Mikey paused and looked down at his hands, deliberating how to phrase his next sentence.  
>"Do you like Frank?" He blurted and I swear I almost swallowed my cigarette.<br>"Mikey!" I shouted, my cheeks were burning and had never been so embarrassed in my life. Was I acting that obvious?  
>"What would make you say that?" I asked, trying to act nonchalant.<br>"Well, the way you act around him, I don't know. It might be brother intuition or something, but I'm almost certain there's something's going on between you two"  
>"There's nothing going on between us, I can assure you that" I muttered and couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice.<br>"But you want there to be?" Mikey asked quietly, again, not meeting my eyes. Which, I was grateful for. In reply I just sighed.  
>"Gerard. You can tell me" He stated, picking at the grass in front of him.<br>"I'm sorry Mikey. I- I do like him. I don't know how or why it happened, I never thought I'd fall for a guy, but, but I have. And I hate it" Tears formed in my eyes, I'd had enough of holding them in, I let them fall from my eyes and didn't give a shit that my eyeliner would run.  
>"Listen to me Gerard, it's not your fault that you've fallen for him. You can't control who you like, take it from me, the guy that's fallen for the girl that's practically impossible for me to get." A small laugh escaped his lips and I felt the corners of my mouth threaten a smile.<br>"I'll get Bob to take us home, we can watch the Lost Boys and forget all about our shitty relationship situations. Sound good?" I'd never been so thankful for having Mikey as my brother until that moment, he really was the person I could rely on the most.  
>"Sounds great. Thanks Mikes" I replied, wiping my tears away.<br>"No problemo" And with that, he jumped up and disappeared into the house. I flung my head back to stare at the stars. Why was life so complicated? Why couldn't it be like it is in films, where all your dreams come true? I felt as though, my life had no purpose, like I was just passing through everyone else's lives with nothing awaiting me at the other end. I suppose it was a kind of dull way to look at life, but I'd always felt as though I was the 'odd one out' like everyone else had parts they had to play on Earth and I didn't. Well, no part that I knew of at the time. I finished the last of my cigarette and walked through the house, keeping my head down, not bothering to look at any of the people lurking in the corridor. Mikey, Bob and Ray were all waiting outside for me.  
>"You all going home too?" I asked as Bob unlocked the car and we all filed in.<br>"Yea, I barely know anyone here, no point in staying. Plus, someone stole all my alcohol" Bob moaned as he turned his key in the ignition and the engine roared to life.  
>"You wouldn't have been able to drink anyway though, 'cause you're driving" I laughed, shooting Mikey a <em>thank you <em>look, for not telling the guys.  
>"Ray was going to drive back, doesn't matter. Why'd you want to leave Gerard?" Bob asked and I began to panic, what could my excuse be? I couldn't exactly say, <em>Oh, just 'cause I'm like in love with my brothers best mate, who happens to be a guy and he just made out with a girl. So I'm feeling pretty down.'<em>  
>"Lindsey wanted to play spin the bottle and I couldn't handle seeing Alicia kiss someone else, so Gerard said we'd go home, but he wanted a cigarette first" Mikey cut in before I could say anything ridiculous. I mouthed a thank you to him subtly.<br>"Mikey, one day you'll get the guts to talk to that girl" Ray laughed.  
>"One day. Eventually. Maybe" Mikey laughed in reply. The journey home was quicker than I thought it would be, probably because it was quite late so there'd be no traffic. I muttered my thanks to Bob for dropping me and Mikey off, before stalking down to my room and changing into my skeleton one piece pyjamas. They were so cosy, I was always a pyjama kinda guy. Once I'd changed I let Mikey into my room, he pulled my desk chair next to my bed and slumped down in it while I got under the covers of my bed.<br>"Mikey. Aren't you gonna put the DVD in?" I asked.  
>"Why can't you?" He moaned.<br>"Because I'm in bed and I'm sad" I stuck my bottom lip out, mocking sadness. I had cheered up from the party but there was an ounce of truth in what I'd said, I mean, I wasn't going to get over it that quickly. I laughed when he gave in and stormed over to my TV to put the movie in. As he was fiddling with the box, that apparently '_wouldn't fucking open_', my phone vibrated. I'd received 'one new text message from Frank'. Part of me wanted to ignore it and just watch the movie with Mikey and forget all about Frank, but curiosity got the better of me and I opened the text.  
>'<em>I hear you went home, why? Xo' <em>I quickly hit reply, I didn't want to act angry towards Frank, it wasn't his fault that I had a huge crush on him. But I couldn't help my annoyance.  
>'<em>Was bored, rather watch the Lost Boys<em>' I replied simply, without adding any X's deliberately. Pathetic, I know, but it made me feel better. Mikey finally got the DVD out of its box and put it in the DVD player before slouching back in his chair. As the title screen appeared, my phone vibrated again. I knew it was from Frank and even though I was angry, my stomach still filled with butterflies.  
>'<em>That's such an awesome movie. I wish you hadn't left... Xo<em>' A lump rose in my throat, I know he probably meant it as in we could have had a laugh or something friend-related, not how I wish he'd mean it.  
><em>'Why?' <em>I replied.  
>'<em>Just cos. Would've been more fun if you'd stayed. Can I talk to you? Xo' <em>I didn't really feel like talking to him on the phone that night, I'd probably let all my feelings out.  
>'<em>I can't really talk on the phone right now' <em>I lied, but then again, I was watching a movie with my brother. So technically I didn't really want to disturb him as he was staring at the screen so intently, he'd be furious if I interrupted. My phone lit up again, and I quickly read and re-read what Frank had replied. I couldn't really believe the words he'd said.  
>'<em>Not on the phone. I'm kinda outside your house, haha. Xo' <em>  
>I turned to Mikey desperately and explained the situation.<br>"Shit! Frank's outside right now?" Mikey shouted, looking surprisingly excited.  
>"Yea. WhaddoIdo?" I screamed all at once.<br>"Invite him in! We can watch the film another day!" He beamed, jumping up out of the chair.  
>"What do you think it means though?" I asked, staring down at my phone.<br>"I don't know Gerard, maybe he likes you back!" He squealed.  
>"No, Mikey. Don't make me get my hopes up, things never work out how I want them too" I whispered.<br>"True, I suppose. You never know though Gerard, maybe it's time you understand that your 'bulletproof'" Mikey air-quoted, before he continued.  
>" heart isn't as tough as you think it is" He was right, I'd always thought that I protected my heart as much as I could and never had faith in myself or how others felt about me.<br>"Sometimes, you need to let it out. Even if you're hurt in the end, it'd be worth it in the long run" As he said the words, realisation hit him. He was exactly the same as me, but with Alicia. He looked thoughtful for a moment before he spoke to me again.  
>"I'll go and let Frank in. Good luck Gerard" He smiled and turned towards the stairs that lead up from my room. He raced up them and soon I heard the front door open, my palms began to sweat, and my heart began to race. I took a deep breath as footsteps neared my room.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10 Hopeless Hearts

**A/N Hey guys,  
>Thank you all for the reviews, you're all amazing for reading this :') My chapters always look really small once I've uploaded them, even though the last one was 4 A4 pages, so I'm gonna try and lay them out differently. Please, please, pleaseeeeeeee review! I'm being greedy and wanting lots of reviews, I know xD But I just want to know what y'all think and then I can update quicker the more reviews I get :3<strong>

**Keep Running,  
>Blue Xo<strong>

**Chapter 10 – Hopeless Hearts**

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. _Was the only word that was constantly running through my mind as the footsteps stopped outside of my room. My heartbeat was in my mouth, I was so nervous I felt as though I was going to throw up. It would most probably put Frank off me for life, IF he was even interested in me at all anyway. Well, I was sure I had no chance with him anyway, if I was sick in front of him I'd have even less chance. If that makes any sense.

There was a knock on my door and I gulped down my nerves before slouching down onto my bed trying to act natural.

"Come in" I called coolly as I picked up my cell and pretended to search through it, I didn't look up as Frank walked into my room and slumped into the chair where Mikey had sat moments before.

"Hey" He murmured, sounding slightly drunk, I lifted my gaze from my cell as I repeated what he'd just said. He smiled a suggestive grin at me, he did look as if he'd had more alcohol since I left, or he was just more of a lightweight than I was.

"Can you squish up? This chair isn't very comfy" A giggle escaped his lips and his gaze travelled down to my bed.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked in reply, I was surprised out how confident I sounded, when in reality, my insides were threatening to erupt out of my mouth. But even so I managed to slide across my bed, leaving Frank some space to sit next to me. It was times like that I wished I had a double bed. There was barely room for me on it normally so with an extra body there was practically no space to move at all.

I was extremely aware of Frank next to me, his skin kept gently brushing against mine, raising the little hairs that dotted all the way up my arms. I tried desperately not to move, because if I did, the electricity that would pass through my body would be too much for me to take and I didn't know how much self control I had left.

"So" Frank spoke which broke me from my concentration. His hands were twisting and untwisting in his lap and he stared at them intently.

"So" I replied, realising that my hands began to mirror his exact movements. When there was no answer from him, I continued, "You, wanted to talk to me?".

"Yea, I did. Umm" He paused, as if he were trying to figure out how to phrase his next sentence.

"Okay. So, I need some advice" He looked up at me with eyes that almost looked sad, but I dismissed it as merely the dimness in my room playing tricks on me. I had one single window that allowed the smallest amount of street light to filter in and cast long shadows over the floor, making my room look as though it belonged in a horror movie of some sort.

"Sure" I murmured, not quite certain I'd be able to help him in anyway. I was the one to seek the advice not the one to deliver it.

"Well, what would you do if a girl tells you she likes you, but, you're not one hundred percent sure about how you feel about her? Cos you don't want to hurt her feelings but you just don't know how you feel? I really need help." He spoke so fast I could barely understand a word he said; when he'd finished speaking he inhaled a huge breath of air, ran a hand through his gorgeous jet black hair and then stared at me expectantly.

My eyes widened as I tried to take in his situation, I wanted to tell him to just forget about her and to be with me. For a moment, I actually did debate about telling him my feelings. But I didn't want to creep him out, I mean, I hadn't actually known him for that long.

"I don't really know what I'd do Frank, is there any chance you _could_ like her?" I tried my best to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"I don't know, I don't really look at her in _that_ way. Y'know?" I averted my gaze from him to stare at my twining hands as I nodded solemnly.

"I'm just in such a complicated situation" He moaned, falling back into a lying position on my bed. I wanted to scream at him, 'You think you're in a complicated situation? I have feelings for my brother's fucking best mate!'. But obviously, I didn't, I couldn't.

"Me too" I murmured before my brain could stop my stupid mouth from talking. I prayed he hadn't heard me, but of course, I wasn't that lucky.

"You are? How?" _Stupid, stupid, stupid_. I said repeatedly to myself. I quickly tried to think of a believable lie that I could tell him. But nothing miraculously appeared in my mind.

"I just, like, someone, that's clearly out of my league" I said practically pausing between each word.

"Gerard, like anyone's out of your league man" Frank laughed tapping me on the back. I lay down onto my back so that I could stare at the ceiling. It took me quite a while to process what Frank had just said.

"What do you mean?" I replied, about five minutes later and mentally slapped myself.

"Well look at yourself dude; you're like, every girls dream guy" I propped myself up on my elbow so that I could look at Frank on my side. It would be so much easier if I could just tell him that I didn't WANT to be every girl's dream guy. I wanted to be FRANK'S dream GUY. But that would be about as likely as pigs flying.

"I'm really not, but thanks, I guess" I sighed as he mirrored my position, our faces so close I had felt uncomfortable to look into his eyes. My heart might betray me and do something I'd end up regretting.

"Why don't you have faith in yourself?" He whispered to me, his breath sweet on my skin, he must have inched closer. Once he'd asked the question, it was as if he opened a door inside my brain, I mean, why DIDN'T I have faith in myself?

"Because, no one has faith in me" I whispered back, I felt my eyes sting, as if tears were going to fall, but I held them back. No way did I want Frank to see me cry.

"That's not true" I don't know why we kept whispering to each other, but it made the night seem tranquil, so peaceful, almost romantic.

"Yes it is" I replied, I kept my eyes down, I couldn't meet his gaze.

"No. It isn't. Because Mikey has faith in you, your friends have faith in you, your family has faith in you. _I_ have faith in you" The words he spoke made my heart flutter but still my eyes stung, it wasn't fair that I couldn't be with him. I wanted it more than anything I'd ever wanted in my life, but it was impossible, he was so close, yet so out of reach.

"You. You have faith in me?" I managed to croak, I quickly looked at him, which was probably a mistake because I could barely tear my eyes away from him. I couldn't believe just how angelic he was, his beautiful caramel tinted eyes, his perfectly sculptured nose that lead down to the most tempting lips that if you looked at them for too long you'd find yourself leaning in to him. Which, was exactly what I was doing at that moment. Eventually, my mind finally clicked in and I jerked away from him.

"Of course I have faith in you Gerard" The tone of his voice made it obvious that he was telling the truth and for once in my life, I was happy, like, properly happy.

"But, you haven't even known me that long" I replied, it was a lot to comprehend, no one had ever told me they had faith in me, it was all a little overwhelming.

"It doesn't matter about how long we've known each other, besides, I feel more comfortable around you than some of my other friends" He was right, it doesn't matter how long you've known someone for, it's about how much you enjoy their company in the time you have known them. I found Frank was a very insightful guy and I felt as if we were almost having a 'heart-to-heart'.

"You're right. And same with you, I feel really comfortable around you. Normally it takes me a while to get used to someone." I mumbled, debating whether or not to turn and look at him again. But I didn't have much choice as Frank turned my head to look him straight in the eye.

"I'm the same." He whispered so quietly he was barely audible. His hand still cupped my chin and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would pump all the way out of my chest.

"There's something about you Gerard" He frowned as if he were asking himself a question. I couldn't help but gulping, unattractively loudly. It was virtually impossible to keep my breathing even, his face was so close and his lips were parted, as if he was inviting me to kiss him. But before I could act on it, he'd dropped his hand, but he still looked deeply into my eyes.

"I seriously don't know what to do about Jamia" He spoke a little louder than before, but still barely above a whisper, his gaze was questioning, which confused me a little. Jamia was the girl at the party; it was no surprise that she was the one that had feelings for Frank. It was so obvious.

"She made it clear that she liked you. A lot" I spoke in an irritated tone, I couldn't hid it. Thinking back to the way she kissed him made me want to ball my fists up in anger.

"Was it really obvious?" He put his hand up to his face as if to shield himself from what he knew was the truth.

"Yes" I spoke through gritted teeth, I was acting childish, but I couldn't help it. A car horn beeped from outside and Frank's head spun to look out of the window high up by my ceiling. It gave me a little moment to calm down and compose myself. I shouldn't be acting so irritated towards Frank, it wasn't his fault he was straight. He turned back round to face me and smiled, it looked forced, but nevertheless, I smiled back.

"You know Lindsey likes you, right?" He said resting his head on my pillow. The light in my room was flickering, it was really quite dark in my room only light enough for me to make out Frank's features and see the beautiful glimmer in his eyes.

"She does?" I asked, I really couldn't care less if she liked me. I had no feelings towards her at all. The only person I wanted was lying right next to me.

"Yea, she wouldn't stop talking about you. Plus, umm, when she kissed you she was clearly into it" He laughed and I faked a laugh to sound as if I found it funny too. When I didn't. I felt bad that Lindsey liked me when I hadn't even thought about her at all since the party, well, in all honesty, I never really thought about her. My mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of Frank.

"Makes one of us" I said under my breath and immediately regretted it when I saw Frank laugh. I'd let it slip that I didn't feel the same about Lindsey as she did towards me, it probably would have been easier to just lie and say that I did like her. But the consequences of me doing that would probably be awful, so I suppose I did the right thing.

"You don't like her then?" He laughed again, which caused his body to move closer to mine. His legs pressed against mine, which was rather distracting as my mind wandered off into fantasy land, wondering if Frank laughed again would, _other parts_, of his body press against mine too. If you catch my drift. I shook my head as if I could physically shake off thoughts of Frank and he took it as my reply to his question.

"So who do you like then if you don't like her?" He asked poking me playfully in the ribs. I could feel my cheeks begin to burn, I tried to hide my rapidly-turning-scarlet skin behind my hair casually but probably ended up looking like some sort of shaggy-haired dog.

"No one" Was the pathetic reply I could muster and even so, it was completely obvious that I was lying. My voice cracked halfway through and I stuttered at the beginning.

"You're lying" Frank poked me continuously, each time he managed to poke me in a spot that caused me to burst into laughter.

"Don't make me torture it out of you" He joked, realising he'd found my weakness. He propped himself onto his knees next to me and began tickling me rapidly, laughing as he did so. My legs fumbled about and my arms flailed about in a pitiable attempt to prevent his unstoppable hands. The thought of Frank's hands all over me should've been enough for me to have just laid there and took it, but I couldn't, I was a very ticklish kinda guy.

"Frank! Stop!-Mmfff! Please!" I screamed between tickles. I didn't think I could cope much longer, but I was stubborn and I really didn't want to tell him I liked him. Yet. If at all. Frank sighed and rolled back next to me.

"Fine. But I will get it out of you. Mark my words Way" He flicked the tip of my nose and threw his head back. We were silent for a while as our breathing returned back to normal.

"Anyway, I actually thought you looked quite into the kiss with Lindsey too, to be honest. It was quite hard to watch" My brow furrowed at his last comment, _hard to watch. _Why would it be hard for him to watch? It took me a while to realise he must mean, hard as in awkward. Of course it was awkward, a group of people watching two other people kissing in silence. It all seemed a little strange to me, the whole concept of the game had never really appealed to me. Especially as kissing wasn't really my forte, I'd not exactly had much practice with it.

"Apparently you're a good kisser anyway" He winked and if it were possible for your insides to turn into jelly, mine would have at that exact moment. Well jelly with butterflies, lovely combination. I fumbled about in my thoughts trying to find a coherent reply.

I settled with the simple, "I am?" and he replied with a flirtatious smile. I forced my whole head to move with my gaze as it travelled down towards my bed covers. It was absolutely ridiculous how he could make me feel with a simple look or word, I felt so absurd reacting in the way I did when around him. But he had that affect on me, he'd stolen my heart.

"I'm sure you are" I lifted my head and as I did so my nose brushed against his, our faces were inches apart. His voice had taken on a husky tone and his eyes now glinted with something I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, perhaps suggestiveness. Our bodies were so close I could almost feel his heartbeat, which seemed almost as fast as mine. I didn't tear my eyes away from him as I muttered a "Doubt it". He moved his face painfully slowly towards mine; my heart was beating at a million miles per second. I moved ever so slightly in reaction, not sure if he was going to kiss me or play some sadistic practical joke on me. But he was still moving closer, so slowly you'd think snails were the fastest creatures on earth. He stopped when our lips were resting against each other. My breathing deepened as he pressed his lips fully upon mine.


	11. Chapter 11 Life was perfect

**Thank you guys for the amazing reviews! :') Not gonna blab much but I just wanted to say thanks again for reading. And PLEASE review! I want to know what you thought and kinda wanna know roughly how many readers I have. **

**Keep Running,**

**Blue Xo**

Chapter 11 – They're holding hands and life was perfect

It felt like an eternity leading up to the kiss and yet, the kiss itself barely lasted a second.

"Shit!" Frank jumped up from my bed, I couldn't hide the disappointment I felt. I mean, I'd waited so long for this moment and it was over in a click of your fingers.

"What, the kiss or?" I asked, sending a silent prayer that he didn't mean the kiss. I began to panic; if he meant the kiss then I'd be excruciatingly embarrassed. My hands, involuntarily, began twisting around each other.

"No! The kiss was definitely not shit." A sense of relief flooded over me and I could feel my heart beat return to normal, but the curiosity within me still wondered what exactly Frank meant when he'd said 'shit' so randomly.

"What then?" I asked swinging my legs over the side of my bed so I could watch him properly. He was pacing from side to side of my room, eyes fixed in front of him. When he didn't reply I stood from my bed and walked towards the pacing Frank.

"Frank?" I stood in front of him and grabbed him by the tops of his arms so he was forced to look at me. Again, he didn't reply, which didn't surprise me as his expression looked distant. I shook him, as if to literally shake him back into his body.

"Fuck Gerard!" He shouted, waving his arms about, causing me to jump which, of course, broke the hold I had on him.

"Why do you make me feel like this?" I was startled by his question. At first I thought he was asking it rhetorically but he just stood there, staring at me, waiting for an answer.

"Like what?" I stuttered, I didn't know how else to reply. I didn't know how I made him feel, I wish I did. I wish I could know exactly what thoughts were running through his head, it would have saved me a lot of time. Then I'd know if he liked me or not and if he didn't, I could walk away before my heart was shattered.

"Like this!" Frank cried, as he began pacing again. It was really starting to irritate me, why couldn't he just sit down and have a conversation with me?

"LIKE WHAT? Angry?" I shouted back, storming over to my bed and slumping into it. He followed me as if he'd heard my previous thought.

"No. Not angry" He shook his head at me and sat down in the chair next to me. His restlessness had not faltered however and he continued to fidget.

"Then what Frank?" I asked barely above a whisper, how could that perfect moment, of us lying next to each other have suddenly turned into this frantic scene? Finally, he stopped fidgeting and stood from the chair before kneeling in front of me on my bed.

"Like when I see you with someone else, I feel insane with jealousy. Or every second I'm not with you, I feel like my heart's going to explode." I stared into his deep, pools of chocolate brown eyes, with swirls of green that hypnotised you with their beauty.

"Oh" Was all I could manage; his words were soft caresses to my ears. I wanted to reach out and touch him, I wanted to hold him and never let go.

"I've never felt this way about anyone before" He whispered, looking down as though he was preparing to be rejected.

"Neither have I" I whispered back, lifting his chin so that I could gaze into his gorgeous eyes once again. His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth lifted, his smile made me melt. I couldn't help but grin back, I'd thought it would be impossible to get Frank, I'd never met anyone like him before and I wasn't the kind of guy to get what he wanted. I thought, perhaps, my luck was beginning to change.

This time, the proximity between us closed much more rapidly. His lips were warm and soft against mine and the butterflies inside my stomach flew giddily around. I felt Frank's lips part as he slipped his tongue in to find mine. As he did so, his hands knotted in my hair and for that moment, I was completely and utterly content.

We were both reluctant to pull away and even once the kiss was broken; we rested our foreheads against one another's. The silence that followed, wasn't at all awkward, I was just trying to get my head around the absurdity of it all.

"So" Frank muttered, not entirely wanting to break the silence, but I wanted to desperately know what was going to happen between the two of us from then on.

"So" Frank replied, lifting his forehead from mine to smile beamingly at me.

"What are we gonna do now?" I asked, feeling a little lightheaded.

"Well, do you like me?" Frank asked, leaning forward and tucking a hair behind my ear. Even the smallest of his actions would make my heart go crazy.

"Of course I like you" I said a little too loud, which caused Frank to laugh. It was the cutest sound I'd ever heard, it wasn't so much a laugh, but a giggle.

"Whoops" I muttered, the last thing I wanted was for my Mom to hear me confess my feelings to guy. Frank was really laughing now; I tried not to laugh too. I felt as though he was laughing at me for liking him, not my extreme enthusiasm. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away from him. But that just made him laugh harder.

"Gee that was really loud" He managed between giggles. I looked at him as if I were going to stick my middle finger up at him, but the second I saw his body shaking from hysterical laughter; a laugh escaped my own lips before I could stop myself.

Once we'd calmed down and stopped sounding like a couple of frenzied hyenas, I recalled what Frank had just called me.

"You called me Gee" I stated, not really expecting a reply from him.

"Erm, yea. Sorry. It's what I call you in my head, if that doesn't make me sound like some kinda stalker freak. Plus it's a cute name" Frank joked.

"Do you not want me to call you it?" He added and I could've sworn I saw his cheeks quickly flash pink.

"No no. I like it, I also like the fact you just admitted you think about me" I winked at him, which made him smile a cocky smile, normally it would annoy me if someone smiled in a cocky way. But when he smiled that smile, I just wanted to pounce on him. By thinking that thought, my cheeks began to redden because I knew I was thinking about pinning Frank down when he was sat in front of me.

"What's up?" Frank asked, smiling that smile even more as if he _knew _I was thinking about him. I quickly threw my hand up to my face, accidently poking myself in the eye as I did so causing my eye to start watering unattractively.

"Um. Ow" I muttered. Frank leant forward and wiped the water streaming unnaturally from my eye, which, of course, distracted me from the pain.

"I really do like you Frankie" I said before I could stop myself, but the second I said it, I didn't regret it. I wanted him to know how I felt about him. Fuck, I wanted to be with him!

"I really like you too Gee" I probably looked like a child that had just been given the best toy in the whole toy store, but I didn't care. I was just so happy.

"So?" I asked, desperate to know what it meant between us. Would I just be a one off? Someone he kept secret? Or would we actually be able to be with each other? I know I hadn't known him that long, but in the time I had known him, I'd felt as though I'd shared a connection with him. Something, that made me feel like I'd known him a lot longer than I actually had.

"Well " Frank said in reply as he took my hand in-between two of his and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Gerard Way. Will you be my boyfriend?"


	12. Chapter 12  If you were here

**A/N**

**Update guys! Yet again, thank you so much for the amazing reviews :') If you read this chapter, please take the time to review it, whether you liked it or not, I can handle some constructive criticism :) Seeing as this chapter, in my opinion, is extremely crap. Thanks for reading the story so far! You're all amazing :') I've also just found a Frerard I was working on a while ago but never posted it, so, I might actually start working on that one again, or I might turn it into a one shot. Would appreciate it if you'd check it out, IF I post it, it's already like six A4 pages. And lastly, you can follow me on twitter EleanordeRoy you can tell me what you think of the chapter on there as well and I'll follow back! :) Kay, that's all, enjoy the chapter!**

**Blue**

**Xo**

Chapter 12 – If you were here, I'd never have a fear

"YES!" I squealed, sounding the most girly I'd ever sounded in my life. But I didn't care, Frank Iero had asked _me_ to be his boyfriend. FRANK. IERO. My kid brother's friend, my guitar 'tutor'. It was wrong on so many levels, but it felt so right. Frank's eyes lit up and his lips turned at the edges into a beaming smile.

"Really?" Frank asked sounding shocked with my response, as if he expected any other answer!

"Really" I replied, smiling so much my cheeks began to ache, but I didn't care. I was too happy.

"Awesome" He whispered and I don't know how it's possible, but his face seemed to radiate happiness. This time, I was the one to lean in and start the kiss off, I'd gained confidence with him so quickly. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, I mean, earlier that night I was crying because I thought I'd never have a chance with Frank and then, there I was, sitting on my BED with Frank, KISSING him. It all seemed a little too good to be true. Frank pulled away quicker than I'd have liked and gasped when he saw the time.

"Shit Gerard. It's 1AM" Frank laughed getting up off the bed and holding a hand out to help me up, which I took before Frank's arms wrapped around me.

"Told my Mom I'd be back at 1, so I should probably go before she starts calling me" He whispered, looking into my eyes.

"Do you have to go?" I moaned wrapping my arms around Frank as he had to me.

"I wish I didn't. I'll text you tomorrow?" He asked, I nodded in reply anxious to press my lips against his once more. I couldn't get enough of him, you know the feeling when you first kiss your crush and you just don't want to take your hands off them after that. He laughed as if he'd read my mind and leant forward to meet my lips. We stayed like that for a while and when I thought I'd convinced him to stay he pulled away.

"I really do have to go Gee" He whispered, with humour in his tone.

"If you have tooooooo" I groaned and he laughed before kissing my forehead. I walked towards the door of my room that lead up to the hallway and as I opened it, Mikey stumbled into the room.

"Where you listening in on us Mikes?" I asked acting irritated, when in fact I was trying desperately hard not to burst out laughing and I could tell that Frank was trying to do exactly the same.

"Um. I was just- Err, seeing if this light bulb needed fixing. And it doesn't. Good. Okay." Mikey stuttered before walking out of the room looking extremely embarrassed.

"Mikes" I called after him and he poked his head back round the door.

"How much did you hear?" I asked, knowing for certain that he had been listening in on our conversation. I was slightly disappointed as I'd have liked to have been able to tell Mikey that Frank and I were together instead of him hearing it through eavesdropping. Mikey looked from me to Frank worriedly before looking at me once more.

"You two are together" He squealed, possibly more girly than I'd sounded when I'd said yes to Frank.

"Yea, we are" Frank answered, walking over to me and taking my hand.

"CUTE!" Mikey cried sounding almost as happy as I felt, which was slightly odd but Mikey was always happy if I was happy so it kind of made sense.

"Kay. I'm going to leave you two alone now" He winked suggestively in a very, very awkward way. I couldn't help but cover my face with my hand, my little bro' was such a cringe sometimes. I heard him turn to leave, finally, but, unfortunately, I heard his voice once again.

"My best friend and my brother! Eep! O.M.G If you two get married, we'll be like, brother's in law Frank! How amazing would that be?" I swear he sounded like a three year old that had eaten far too much sugar.

"I'm pretty sure it's too early to start thinking about things like that Mikey. But yes. It would be amazing" Frank laughed before turning to me. "I'll speak to you tomorrow"

He kissed me quickly on the lips and walked with Mikey up the stairs, but I didn't fail to hear Mikey asking him which one of us was the 'girl' in the relationship and if Frank would wear a wedding dress or a suit. Sometimes I wondered if Mikey should be kept on a lead like an excitable puppy and not be allowed to roam free.

I got into my warm bed, laid my head on my fluffy pillow and for the first time in years, fell asleep perfectly content.

I woke with the sound of melodic birdsong from just outside of my house. It was the perfect way to be woken up after such a perfect night last night. Not only that, but when I looked at the time, it was midday, I'd actually managed to sleep a full eleven hours, which made a pleasant change. I spun my legs over the side of my bed and jumped out. I was in such a good mood, one of those moods where nothing can really drag you down. As I skipped up the stairs, I was greeted by the delicious scent of coffee and cinnamon. Mikey was flipping pancakes in a frying pan when I reached the kitchen, his golden brown hair was, as usual, abnormally straight.

"Morning Gerard" Mikey said mid-pancake-flip.

"Goooooodmorning Mikey. How are you?" I half-spoke-half-sang as I flipped on our radio, only to hear Queen – Radio GaGa, which of course, made the day even more perfect. Mikey placed the pancake onto a plate, and turned round to face me.

"I'm good thanks. Clearly not as good as you. You're so loved up it's ridiculous." He laughed and placed the plate down at the kitchen table.

"There's nothing wrong with being 'loved up'" I quoted before sliding into the chair which the pancake was nearest to.

"This for me?" I asked, hoping it was, because, quite frankly, I couldn't be bothered to start making pancakes from scratch. I never got them right; they'd always burn on the outside and be too gooey on the inside. Mikey had perfected the art of it.

"Yea, mine's here." Mikey placed the pan in the sink and then turned to pick up a pancake on the counter.

"What's on it?" I asked, wrinkling my nose up at dark brown clumps that lined the pancake.

"Cinnamon sugar. Mom bought it." He replied, sitting down opposite me and handing me a knife and fork.

"Seriously?" I asked, _so that's where the cinnamon smell was coming from_, I thought to myself.

"Yup. Can't you smell it?" Mikey asked cutting a lump out of his pancake and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Well yea, but still." I laughed and mirrored Mikey's actions. Not trying to big-up Mikey's ego or anything, but it was the best pancake I'd ever had in my life. I was always a fan of cinnamon, but cinnamon sugar, was like the sex God of flavoured sugar. While I was on this train of thought Mikey had managed to wolf down his pancake, I couldn't believe how skinny he was by the amount of food he ate. It was ridiculous, that kid could eat a whole cow and not show any weight gain at all.

"Coffee?" He asked standing up to put his plate in the dishwasher; he grabbed the jug of coffee and two mugs. I don't know why he bothered asking me if I wanted any as he poured it anyway.

"So, when're you going to tell Mom and Dad that you're, you know?" Mikey asked sitting back down at the table after adding milk and sugar to my coffee. I hadn't thought about telling my parents yet, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind once. But the second the words escaped Mikey's lips, I was nervous. They thought I was straight. Hell, I'D thought I was straight. But I guess you don't know until the right person walks into your life.

"Ah, I don't know" I answered honestly. Me and Frank had only been together a day but it would be good to get things out of the way so that I could be with Frank openly and not have to sneak around. I didn't know how my parents would react to it, there are so many stories about how some parents abandoned their children after finding out their sexuality. I didn't think mine would react in that way, but I couldn't help but be nervous. I also didn't want them to treat me any different to how they'd treated me before.

"Well, it would be better to tell them sooner rather than later" Mikey stated bringing his coffee mug up to his lips and gulping down almost half of the mug. Whereas I sipped it slowly, savouring every last drop. I mumbled something incomprehensible in reply to Mikey, took the last bite of my pancake and headed downstairs towards my room. The first thing I did was skip over to my cell and pray that Frank had texted me. It seemed to take longer than usual to power on but when it eventually did, I'd received a text. It was from Frank.

'_Afternoon Gorgeous ;) Do you want to do something today? I want to see my boyfriend :') Xo' _I read and reread the text about three times, I loved seeing the word 'boyfriend' from Frank and each time I read it my stomach filed with tiny butterflies that fluttered around. I quickly clicked reply and thought of how to phrase the next sentence.

'_Morning for me, I basically only just woke up xD Of COURSE I want to do something today, I want to see my boyfriend too :') Would you be able to come to mine? There's something I need to do. Xo' _I clicked send and waited anxiously for a reply. I didn't have to wait long for my phone to vibrate.

'_Yea, that sounds good. What is it you have to do? Xo' _I needed Frank to be with me when I did it. I couldn't do it alone, I needed SOME moral support.

'_I'm going to come out to my parents and I need you there with me. Xo'_


	13. Chapter 13 Hand in mine

**Heyy Guys! **

**Asdfghjkl Thank you SO much for the amazing reviews! :') Seriously, you're all awesome! Again, PLEASE review this one! For good / bad comment, and also let me know if you'd be interested in reading the one I found recently :) Remember you can follow me on twitter and I'll follow back EleanordeRoy (For some reason the 'at' sign doesn't work on here). Enjoy the chapter and remember the more reviews, the quicker I'll update ;D**

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**Chapter 13 – Hand in mine into you icy blues**

I was becoming increasingly nervous with every tick of the kitchen clock and as every second passed, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Questions began running through my head at an alarming pace, 'Would they accept me?' 'Or would they cast me away?' 'Should I hold off telling them as Frank and I hadn't even been together for a full day yet?'

"Stop trying to talk yourself out of it" Frank broke my concentration and brought me back to the here-and-now. He was sitting opposite me, with his legs casually sprawled out in front of him and was looking at me through his half-closed eyelids.

"I'm just. I'm scared" I answered honestly, my hands were beginning to clam up and my foot was tapping restlessly. Something I'd do a lot and only recently found out it was a sign of insecurity.

"I can tell" Frank mused and straightened in his chair.

"But you have no reason to be, because I'm here and no matter what happens, I'll ALWAYS be here for you" He smiled and reached his hand out towards my fingers, which were drumming edgily against the hard wood table.

"So chill out" He laughed as he made soothing circular motions with his fingers against the top of my hand. Slowly but surely my body parts stopped their abnormal tapping.

"Sorry." I half smiled. It seemed as if Frank's serenity had passed through his fingertips and pulsed through my veins, calming me as it travelled.

"Do you want something to drink?" I asked, getting up from my seat and putting the kettle on for the second coffee of the day.

"Sure" Frank smiled, spinning in his chair to face me as he did so.

"Coffee?" I asked as the kettle began rattling and pouring hot steam out of it's nozzle. Frank nodded and so I reached for an extra mug from the cupboard next to the sink. It was unnatural how many coffee cups we owned.

I took a teaspoon from the drawer in front of me and unscrewed the lid to the coffee.

"Gerard" Frank whispered from right behind my ear. Obviously causing me to jump, and, consequently showering coffee granules everywhere.

"Jeez dude, calm down!" Frank soothed. Wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder. I sighed and picked the kettle up extremely slowly so as to not boil both mine and Frank's skin.

"I think I better help you with that" He joked from beside my ear, and guided my hand to the coffee cups carefully. Once the water was poured into the cups I was instantly calmed again by the beautiful wafting aroma of fresh coffee. I turned awkwardly to face Frank and to get ready to get the milk for the coffee's, but Frank wouldn't budge. I looked up at him questioningly as he grabbed the counter either side of me to trap me. He returned my questioningly look with a suggestive cock of his eyebrow. He leant his body closer into me and lifted his hand to brush the mop of hair out of my eyes.

"Don't forget, the sooner you tell them. The sooner we can be together properly" Frank murmured, a slight husky tone was in his voice as he slowly leant in to plant a hot kiss on my lips, his hand knotted in my hair. I reached one hand around his waist and pulled him even closer to me, the kiss hardened as he ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I gently opened my mouth so that his tongue could meet mine. I felt him rubbing against me and I could feel myself beginning to harden, however close we got, it wasn't close enough.

Suddenly the front door slammed shut and Frank jumped back and threw himself into the kitchen chair. I began to panic. My hands began to shake furiously and I felt my heart rate speed up even more than it was already. Luckily the shock of the door slamming, took me out of the mood that I'd just felt with Frank.

"Gee" Frank loudly whispered, my head shot to look at him once again, his lip ring glistening from the light shining through the blinds.

"Calm down!" He mouthed and I nodded, although I wasn't entirely sure if I could 'Calm down', I had worked myself up so much. I steadied my breathing and walked as casually as I could towards the fridge to collect the milk.

"Hello?" Mom called from the hallway and I heard a shuffle of bags, which meant she'd been food shopping again. In my house, we got through food like no tomorrow.

"Hey Mom" I called back, trying desperately hard to make my voice sound nonchalant. Obviously I'd tried _too _hard as Frank threw his hand up to cover his eyes. I walked back to the mugs of coffee and poured the milk.

"Oh hello Frank" I heard my Mom say from inside the room, she lifted the shopping onto the counter next to me and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey Mrs. Way" Frank replied politely, I finished adding milk and sugar to the coffees and walked over to the table, placing one in front of Frank and one in front of me.

"Please, Frank, again, call me Donna" She smiled warmly at him, clearly they'd met before, but I couldn't think of where, I'd sure enough never seen Frank at my house before. Well before he started teaching me guitar. But then again, I'd always be cooped up in my room when Mikey had friends over.

"Sorry, I forget myself" Frank joked and I relaxed, if they'd met before and Mom liked him, it would make my job a lot easier.

"Where's Dad?" I cut in, taking a sip of my coffee. I just wanted to get this over with and have some more alone time with Frank.

"He's just trying to fix the radio in the car, it's been playing up." Mom said, turning back to start to unload the shopping. Frank and I watched her unload the bags for a while and every now and then our eyes met, but I couldn't afford to get distracted again.

"Donna, there's no chance that's going to get fixed tonight. I'm just getting stressed with it" I heard my father call from the hall way, shutting the door behind him.

"Leave it then, it doesn't have to be fixed tonight" Mom called back finishing up the last shopping bag as my Dad poked his head round the door. It was nice when my Dad was at home; he had to go abroad a lot for his job so when he was here, he and Mom did practically everything together.

"Oh, hello, I don't think we've met." Dad said looking directly at Frank with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Hi, I'm Frank" Frank replied, smiling when my Dad offered his hand to shake it. I couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed at my father's behaviour, sometimes I thought he might as well belong to the 18th century the way he acted.

"You must be Gerard's friend" Dad said shaking Frank's hand before recoiling back and leaning against the fridge.

"You could say that" I spoke before I could stop myself, hoping that soon I'd have the huge weight lifted from my shoulders.

"Frank's the one teaching Gerard the guitar" Mom chimed in, interpreting my comment wrongly.

"Oh, well thanks for doing that" Dad replied rapping his arm around Mom and pulling her close to him.

"Don't mention it" Frank added, before he looked at me and nudged his head to one side as if telling me to hurry it up.

"Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you" I said extremely quickly, part of me praying they hadn't actually heard me. But, unfortunately, they had.

"What is it Gerard?" Dad asked looking at me with worried eyes.

"Um, you might want to sit down" I stuttered, looking back to Frank who smiled at me encouragingly. I pointed to the seat next to me and Frank understood what I meant by it, he got up and moved to the hard wooden seat that was next to me so that my parents could sit opposite. My parents shared a look that I couldn't quite comprehend and then sat in the two empty chairs. I was silent for a moment, just staring at my hands in my lap and thinking about how to phrase what I was about to say. You can understand how difficult it would be to tell your parents how suddenly your sexuality has changed.

"Gerard, honey? What is it?" My Mom asked, sounding genuinely worried now.

"You haven't got someone pregnant have you?" Dad asked, with an angry tone to his voice.

"Donald!" Mom screamed, shocked, and hit my Dad on his arm. The facial expression she pulled looked like she began wondering if my Dad was right. I looked at him straight in the eyes and couldn't help but laugh at how serious he was. Maybe it was nervous laughter, but it did help to calm me down.

"God no!" I laughed, looking at Frank, who was clearly trying hard not to laugh too.

"Then what is it?" Dad asked, sounding even more irritable than he'd sounded before. I looked from my Mom, to my Dad and finally rested my eyes on Frank, who smiled so warmly at me it gave me the confidence to blurt out what I'd been waiting to say since the moment I started liking Frank.

"Well firstly I want you to know, I'm happy. Finally" And relief flooded over my Mom's face, which made me wonder what she thought I was going to say. My Dad though, still looked impatient and slightly annoyed. I delayed speaking for a while, curiously looking at my Mom but Frank's hand found mine under the table which encouraged me to continue.

"Recently, something's changed, I didn't quite understand at first. But now I know that, I'm-" I gulped down a breath of air, preparing myself for the abuse I may or may not receive from my parents. Frank squeezed my hand and confidence flooded through me.

"I'm gay"


	14. Chapter 14 He's always looking at men

**Hey-lo lovely readers :)**

**Sorry this has taken so long and sorry that it's kinda short and pretty crap xD Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all the amazing reviews! Please review this one so I know if you liked it or not, then maybe the next chapter can be even better :3 I'm not really sure how many chapters exactly this Frerard is going to be and I haven't really planned it, so what happens depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Hope you like it and don't forget to review! **

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

Chapter 14 – He's always looking at men

No one had spoken for a few minutes and the silence was increasingly awkward. Frank squeezed my hand in a supportive manner, I wanted to look at him but I couldn't tear my eyes away from my parents. My Mom looked in complete shock, her jaw was open extremely wide and her eyes were so distant a fly could have flown into her mouth and she wouldn't have noticed. My Dad on the other hand, his brow was furrowed and he was gently shaking his head from side to side in denial.

"Did you hear me?" I spoke and broke the discomforted silence.

"But- But you were straight" My Mom stated, more to herself than to me. I realised I was biting down hard on my lip when I felt a warm liquid trickle down my cheek. I'd actually managed to cut my lip and draw blood. My Dad stood, fetched a piece of kitchen roll, handed it to me and sat back down in his seat, without saying a word.

"Thank you" I muttered, dabbing the fresh wound with the tissue and wincing as it stuck to the cut.

"I thought I was straight. But- but then I met Frank. What you need to know is that I'm happy now." I spoke the words quietly and quickly, wanting to get it straight away. My Mom's head shot up, she stared at me with such concentration I thought her eyes would pop out of her head. I looked back into her judging eyes, for what seemed like an eternity, before a small smile eventually crept onto her lips.

"I've noticed you're happier these days" My Mom noted. I didn't speak, just looked towards Frank who was still clutching my hand supportively. There was another long pause, I didn't even glance in my Father's direction, but from the corner of my eye, I could still make out his shaking head. The silence was beginning to make me feel uneasy and I couldn't help my fidgeting state creep over me. Finally my Mom spoke up once more.

"If you're happy Gerard, I'm happy. If Frank's made you feel this way, then that's brilliant." She paused before turning to face Frank.

"Welcome to the family" I'd never seen him smile such a huge smile before and my Mom mirrored his exact expression.

"Oh, come here you two" She squealed standing up and pulling me and Frank out of our seats to embrace us in a mammoth bear hug. It was a lovely gesture, but the fact that my face was pressed so tightly against my Mom's shoulder slightly ruined it. I couldn't breathe and I felt my cheeks begin to redden with lack of oxygen. Luckily, before it was too late she broke the hug to look at us both.

"Oh my God. Mom are you crying? For real?" My Mom always seemed to cry at the most pointless things.

"I'm just so happy" She wailed, tears welling up in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks, painting mascara trails down her pale face.

"Thank you Mrs. Way, for being so supportive" Frank spoke for the first time, smiling brightly at my Mom. How could anyone dislike Frank? He was such a genuine, decent guy.

"No need to thank me Frank, and PLEASE call me Donna!" My mom laughed cutting through any tense atmosphere that still lingered in the air surrounding us. Well, until I remembered my Dad was still sitting in his chair.

"Dad?" I asked, walking over to him.

"Frank, I think it'd be best to leave Gerard and his father alone for a little while. Would you come and sit with me in the living room?" Mom asked, I didn't want Frank to leave me, but I guessed it would be easier to talk to my Dad alone. Frank ran his hand soothingly along my back as he passed me through the door.

"I think it's best that you sit down Gerard." He said in monotone way. I could feel a lump rise in my throat, it would just be typical for one parent to be ecstatic about my sexual orientation and for the other to be against it. But I did as I was told and slumped back down into my chair.

"Dad I-" I started but he put his finger up in a 'stop' motion, I shut up automatically, I didn't want to cause an argument, especially not at that moment in time.

"I just can't get my head around it Gerard. When did you-" He paused and looked at his hands before continuing.

"When did you realise that you were, you know" He hinted towards my sexuality but wouldn't mutter the word, he wouldn't even look at me and I began to feel quite hurt.

"Gay?" I asked flat out and I could've sworn I saw him flinch.

"Yes" He replied after a pause.

"I'm not sure of the exact time it clicked or anything, but it was after I'd met Frank" I sounded a lot more confident than I felt, but I was glad I did, my Dad needed to know that no matter what he thought, it wouldn't change how I felt towards Frank.

"Right." He said, looking extremely confused and disbelieving.

"Look Dad, just hear me out. I can't help how I feel about Frank, but I want you to know, he's probably better for me than any girl ever would be. I'm happy, surely you want me to be happy? I think-I think I love him Dad and the way you feel about this situation won't change that" I stated, pouring my heart out to him.

"Gerard. If you feel that strongly about him, then I'm happy for you. I'll always support your decisions son, even if they take some getting used to." He looked at me then and smiled ever so slightly at me. I breathed a sigh of relief and let my heart beat calm from its abnormal pace.

"But, that took a lot of guts. I'm proud of you." It was then that I became the one in shock, I don't think my Dad had ever said he was proud of me and I never expected for him to say it now.

"I just hope you two can work through everything that's thrown at you" There was something in my Dad's tone of voice that made me feel as though he was having a premonition of what was to come.


	15. Chapter 15 Never be the same

**A/N Bonjour my lovely readers :)**

**Thank you for reading this far into the story, shit's about to go down soon ;D It's longer than the last one by the way, I decided to update today because I've been ill in bed aaaaalllllll day. It sucks. I hope you like the chapter and once you've read it, PLEASE update, I want to know if there's any point in me carrying on because I haven't been getting as many reviews as before. I also want to dedicate this chapter to all of our fallen Killjoys we've lost recently. May they all march peacefully in the Black Parade. Anyway, hope you like it!**

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 15 – Your life, will never be the same **

Some people may think I'm crazy for admitting to my Dad that I think I may love Frank after such a short period of time and maybe there is no such thing as 'love at first sight'. But it really doesn't matter about the length of time you've known the person, it's how you spend the time you've known them that's important. For instance, if you feel passionate enough about something, no matter how long you've believed in it or followed it, it all comes down to how you feel about it. Some people have soul mates, I've always liked the concept of soul mates and I can adamantly state that I had found mine. It's like magnets, once the opposite forces locate each other they become inseparable. Literally. So why can't the same apply for humans without it being frowned upon?

I suppose I should've felt lucky towards how my parents had reacted, I mean, they didn't chuck me out, which was obviously a relief. I wouldn't have known what to do if I'd been thrown out. I was just grateful they hadn't turned their backs on me and Christ, my DAD had said he was proud of me. ME. The quiet outcast, who liked to sit in his darkened room all day and paint disturbing images.

It had barely been a week since I'd first met Frank, but it seemed like a year had passed since that dreaded parent – teacher phone call, the night where I honestly thought my life would be over, the way the fatal words, 'You're going to fail music' echoed around me just before I sulked off after hearing my brother's 'genius' idea, which happened to be the best thing that had ever happened to me.

I walked from the kitchen towards the living room to see Frank and my Mom sitting very close to each other, laughing so hard tears were falling from their eyes. As I closed the difference between us, it only seemed to encourage their laughter, I felt my brow furrow with confusion and my Mom pointed towards the television. I turned in the direction her finger was pointing and my cheeks immediately took on the colour of a tomato. I swear I had just walked into hell.

On the screen I must've been about one or two years old, and I was standing next to our extremely old-fashioned looking washing machine. My eyes were wide and I was clutching, ironically, a Barbie. But that wasn't the most embarrassing thing, oh no, I wasn't wearing any pants. I knew what was coming up, my Mom had told me many times about this video and surprisingly enough, I was about to be faced with even more humiliation.

The video was rather difficult to follow as the filming was rather shaky, Mom blamed the bad filming on Dad for tickling her at the time, but it was still blatantly obvious what had happened. On the video, Mom had started walking away from me into our old, badly decorated, living room, the camera panned back round to see me struggling to half-walk, half-crawl from the bathroom into the living room, when suddenly I paused. The camera moved then so you couldn't _see _what was happening, but you could _hear _it. The sound of a young boy being potty-trained, the sound of me wetting myself. I swear my cheeks set alight the second I heard that sound and Mom and Frank exploded with laughter. The camera focused back on my younger self looking extremely confused and the next second I was on the floor crying my eyes out. I'd actually managed to slip on my own piss and whack my head against the radiator. That's when the clip ended and I was left to stand there horrified that my Mom had decided to show Frank that video. Even me as Peter Pan in my school play would've been less mortifying than that.

"Mom! What possessed you to show Frank that?" I shouted un-amused and feeling excruciatingly humiliated.

"Gerard, you were young, you didn't know what was happening" Mom managed between laughs. Frank nodded in agreement, clutching his stomach and looking exceedingly hysterical. It sounded as if Mom was beginning to calm down, however, just as you would with your best friend, she took one look at Frank and erupted into laughter once again.

Before I could think about anything else, I grabbed Frank's hand and dragged him out of the living room, leaving my frenzied Mother behind us. I grasped my keys and sprinted out of the front door with a out-of-control Frank trailing behind me.

"That was so funny Gee!" Frank giggled, taking breaths between each word.

"Mmmph" I muttered, refusing to give in and laugh it off. Why did parents insist on showing baby photos or videos when they first meet your boyfriend / girlfriend? It's like a ritual that has to be performed in order for the couple to be together. It's so annoying!

"Oh come on, it was cute" Frank continued, clutching my hand as I'd dropped his in annoyance.

"It's far from cute, it's just embarrassing. How did you even get round to watching them? I left you alone for like, five minutes"

"Your Mom and I got talking, she was saying about how she really has noticed a difference in you since I've been around and that the last time she remembered you being truly happy was as a toddler" Frank giggled again, I had to try desperately hard to keep a straight face but his laugh truly was the cutest laugh I'd ever heard.

"So then I asked what you were like when you were younger and she said she'd show me and then, I saw some videos" He broke into a furious fit of giggles once more, he was laughing so much his body actually curled in on itself. I didn't even want to ask what other videos he'd seen, I'd had just about enough humiliation for that day.

We'd been walking with no actual destination in mind, but we'd ended up at the local park, so I began stalking off towards the bench on the far side of the field. The weather was strangely beautiful, despite the misty fog that disguised the park equipment. I loved the fog and the fact that it could mask everything, it made me feel hidden from the outside world. When I was down and if the weather was foggy, I'd always go out in it and escape my dreary life.

We eventually reached the bench and sat down side by side with Frank still laughing quietly to himself every now and then.

"She's really proud of you you know" Frank said a lot more calmly than he'd sounded not long ago.

"Who is?" I asked stupidly.

"Your Mom, obviously" Frank laughed, lifting our hands and placing his arm around me before snuggling into my chest.

"She is? My Dad said he was too" I spoke, recalling exactly how my Dad had eventually reacted and I was still shocked by it.

"Oh shit Gee, I totally forgot to ask what he said about it! Sorry" Frank said apologetically and lifted his chin to plant a quick kiss on my lips. Even now his kisses surprised me and made my stomach tie up in knots.

"That's okay, he was surprisingly fine. I mean, he did say something about having to get used to it but he did say he'll always support me and my decisions. So, I'm happy" I smiled and absently ran my hand through his jet black mini-Mohawk.

"And I'm happy because you're happy" Frank said snuggling even closer next to me. I liked that I felt no pressure in the relationship at all, it just seemed so right, so natural.

I awoke to the sound of my alarm, once again breaking me from my peaceful, tranquil sleep. But, I awoke with a smile upon my face, I had a wonderful boyfriend, a supportive family and a far too enthusiastic brother.

But then it clicked, I had to face school today. I had to face it and the troubles it would bring.

Frank would want to come out, hell I wanted to come out and get it over with but Zack hated my guts already, if he found out I was gay, well that would just feed his ammunition. I forced myself from my bed and took a quick shower, I was becoming nervous and the hot water would calm my nerves. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I got. I quickly towel dried myself after stepping out of the shower, threw on my Misfits shirt absentmindedly and hurriedly cleaned my teeth before grabbing my bag and heading out of the door.

I walked as slowly as possible in the time I had, the cool air does wonders to clear your head. The grey sky above me was threatening to crack open and flood the earth with rain. If it did begin to pour it down, I wouldn't care. I passed the park where me and Frank had sat for hours the night before and the shops where I'd shoved my head in a pizza box and smiled as I realised I'd already got some great memories with Frank. That's when I knew, my life would never be the same. As if he heard his name in my thoughts, I heard footsteps approaching behind me and then hands covered my eyes.

"Guess who?" Frank whispered from behind me.

"Erm, Mikey?" I joked, he took his hands from my eyes and spun me around to face him.

"Would Mikey do this?" He asked before he forcefully placed his lips upon mine. The kiss was hot and fast, I could feel Frank's tongue run along my bottom lip, pleading for entrance and I automatically opened my mouth slightly for his tongue to join mine. His hand gripped the back of my head pulling me closer into the kiss, I could feel myself harden, I'd never wanted Frank more. I could prevent the way I acted, I was just so into it. My arms flung around Frank's body and my nails dug into his back running lower towards the bottom of his shirt. If Mikey hadn't suddenly appeared at that exact moment, Frank and I would have been arrested for inappropriate behaviour in public.

"Umm, guys. You're gonna be late for school. And thanks for waiting for me dickmunch" Mikey said poking me hard in the ribs, causing me to jump away from Frank. I turned to face Mikey and slap him for intruding when I realised that two old ladies from across the street were staring at us with wide, shocked eyes. I burst out laughing and clutched Frank's hand, pulling him towards school.

Towards certain doom.


	16. Chapter 16 Stand up fucking tall

**A/N Hallo all you lovely people :')**

**Thank you, thank you, thank you for reviewing the last chapter, it's made me feel a little more confident with the story because to be honest, I do feel like it's not good enough. (I'm pretty harsh on myself) So this chapter, hopefully, will live up to my (and your) standards xD It's one of the longest I've written. PLEASE let me know what you think by reviewing, I really hope you like it because I'm losing the excitement to write this one. Also, if you'd check out this thing I'm working on at the moment called, 'Frerard Evidence' and reviewing that, I'd really appreciate it. It's not a story, it's factual :3 Thanks!**

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 16 – Stand up fucking tall**

In an instant, the cool refreshing breeze transformed into an icy chill that wrapped tightly around me, almost like a snake does to it's prey before it's ravenously devoured. The students at my school, funnily enough, aren't too different from the reptile and I felt as though I were the innocent mouse, being fed to a collection of eager snakes. This thought slowed my footsteps as I edged closer towards the concrete block which resembled more of a prison than a school.

The nerves that swarmed around me increased with each step I took, I didn't think I was ready to go completely public with Frank. We hadn't even been together for that long and so to have to go to school and be completely open about it, felt as if I was being thrust into the deep end when I didn't know how to swim.

Until Frank saw my unease and squeezed my hand supportively. I wasn't going to be going through this by myself. I wasn't alone anymore. And suddenly I felt as though I was being plunged into the deep end unaccompanied, but with a rubber ring to keep me afloat.

As long as Frank was with me, I'd be fine. And as long as he had faith in me, other's opinions were invalid.

I squeezed Frank's hand back in reply and picked up the pace of my walking, after all, being late for school wouldn't exactly make my day any better and I didn't really fancy a detention. As we neared the old steel gates opening onto the school bell, I heard the distant chiming of a bell, proving we had ten minutes before the forms were called to registration.

We walked, hand in hand, all the way up the ageing cobbled path towards the main entrance where we finally stopped. Frank was in a different year to me, which meant he was in different lessons, the next time we'd see each other was lunch as there was no point in trying to find each other during the fifteen minute break.

"I'll see you in a few hours" Frank smiled timidly.

"It'll all be okay" He added, before kissing me lightly on the lips.

"And if it isn't" He added beginning to walk backwards away from me.

"Who cares?" And with a smirk and a shrug Frank turned and walked towards his classroom, leaving me to wander to mine alone.

I didn't like to be apart from Frank, I could deal with it, but there's something about knowing the person you have feelings for is literally across the hall from you and you're not able to see them, that distracts you from anything and everything you should be doing. Your body is present, but your mind is drifting off elsewhere, counting the seconds until you can see that person once again. This of course, makes the time tick by at an excruciatingly painful rate.

When lunch time finally came, I practically had to prise my hand away from the table that I had dug my nails into out of sheer impatience. Ray and Bob were both in my music class so as I jumped excitedly out of my seat and bounded towards the door they had walk pretty fast to keep up with my eager pace.

"Why does Mrs. Pryton always set essays" Bob moaned, catching up with me in the bustling corridor. Don't you just hate it when a group of students decide to stop and have a chat right in front of you and you have to try and awkwardly squeeze past them? It is one of the most irritating things in life, that and when people walk at an impossibly slow speed in front of you when you have somewhere to be.

"I don't know, but this one is going to take me ages" Ray complained in reply to Bob, I was present in the conversation, but it took a while for the words to fully sink in.

"There's so much I could write about" Bob agreed. I had gone through the whole lesson without realising we'd been set an assignment. I groaned at the idea. Sometimes, strangely, I enjoyed writing essays, not only did it give me something to concentrate on but I could write about controversial topics and write in a way where I could use more articulate words. Which, for some reason, I loved to do, I loved the English language, whether or not you could decipher that from the way I spoke in person, but on paper, I was completely different. I tended to seem extremely confident and poetic, almost. Occasionally, I'd attempt to write poetry, but it always seemed to appear morbid and sinister. I thought that maybe I should endeavour to write it again, seeing as the last time I'd written some, I was feeling very miserable but now, now my life was so much brighter. Frank hadn't just become my boyfriend, he'd actually managed to open up opportunities, and he helped me to look upon the world from a different viewpoint. A happier, brighter one.

However, sometimes, sometimes I detested essays. They took up far too much time and effort when I'd rather be painting or writing about something I actually had an interest in. That, or as much as I tried to think of ideas to write about, I physically couldn't put my words onto paper. I'd rack my brain for a decent way to begin the essay, something that would catch my teachers attention immediately. That was probably another reason as to why I was failing in music, I had so many ideas to write about and I wanted the essay to be perfect that I'd keep restarting it, getting more and more agitated as each essay was worse than the one before as I grew wearier and wearier. So I'd just ignore the work until it piled up and got me into quite a lot of trouble.

"What essay do we have to write?" I asked breaking my silence and finally manage to move out of the crowded corridor and begin to walk towards the cafeteria where Frank would be waiting for me.

"We have to write about our favourite song, why we like it, how we were introduced to it, and all the aspects of that song, like, what instruments were used. That kinda thing" Ray replied distantly, I could tell by the look of concentration on his face that he was having an internal debate as to which song he was going to use. There were hundreds of songs entering my thoughts as soon as I saw the look on Ray's face, but the one that stood out the most to me, was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen.

The song has so many different elements to write about and Freddie Mercury was one of my favourite frontmen of all time. He was so passionate about what he was singing about, he never stopped believing in himself and his band. Even when they were bottled off of the stage at a festival in France once, he promised the crowd that they would return as one of the biggest bands on the planet. And they did. In fact, they became one of the biggest rock bands ever to have graced the Earth. And that in itself was enough to make me choose Queen to write about.

The only problem was _when_ was I going to write about it? That train of thought then, unfortunately, reminded me I had maths work due for the next day, _extra _maths work that I'd actually asked for to prevent myself from being in some serious trouble.

As we walked through the last corridor I noticed just how ancient the school looked. The old paint was chipping off of the walls, revealing an ugly brown layer of rotting wall and the windows looking out towards the canopies were so thick with dirt it appeared to make everything outside look dreary and depressing.

"Gerard!" I heard someone call from behind me, I spun on the ball of my foot to see Mikey bounding down the corridor towards me and my friends. A sheepish smile on his face, it was odd to see my brother smile like that, he tended to keep a straight face most of the time and practically never smiled in photos. I motioned for Bob and Ray to stop for a while, so I could figure out what it was Mikey wanted. They didn't seem to mind, they were too busy panicking about the assignment Mrs. P had set.

"What's up Mikes?" I asked, glancing down at my hands as if there were a watch on my wrist, I was so conscious of the time, fervent to meet Frank once again.

"I just wanted to say, when you, you know" Mikey's eyes darted over to Bob and Ray, which reminded me, I hadn't even 'come out' to my friends yet.They had no idea that for one, I wasn't into girls, and two, I was actually dating a guy. And that guy, was my brother's best friend.

"Yea…" I urged him to continue by making a gesture with my hands, I was growing impatient, knowing that Frank was mere meters away from me.

"I could tell that earlier you were scared, but you shouldn't be. It doesn't matter what people think, chances are, you'll never see them again." He smiled, tapping me on the shoulder comfortingly.

"Thanks Mikey" I smiled honestly, not only did I have Frank to support me; I also had my brother to rely on.

"Stand up fucking tall, don't let them see your back" He smirked cockily. Realization hit me smack in the face like I'd just walked into a solid brick wall. That little shit had been going through my things and had seen some of the lyrics I had attempted to compose. Before I could scream at him for going through my possessions, he'd disappeared around the corner.

Eventually I had arrived at the canteen; I glanced around the room for Frank and spotted him sitting at a table in the far corner of the room with Mikey. How Mikey had got there that fast was beyond me, perhaps he'd sprinted into the room and sat down as if he'd been there for ages. He was immature like that.

"Do you guys mind sitting with Mikey and Frank today?" I asked Bob and Ray, not really caring what their replies would be, I would sit with my boyfriend and annoying twig of a brother.

"Sure thing" Ray answered for both of them.

We made our way towards the table and slumped down tiredly into the hard seats. I, of course, sat next to Frank, whose hand immediately found mine the second I was seated. At first, my plan was to just tell my friends about me and Frank, but when I looked into his eyes, I saw them glimmer with hope and affection and I couldn't think straight. I didn't care what people thought, I leant forward and planted a kiss on his lips. The room evaporated around us as his tongue slipped in to join mine in perfect harmony.

When I pulled away, my two friends were staring out us both, mouths wide open and their eyes almost popping out of their sockets. I couldn't help but laugh at their stunned expressions Frank was also giggling quietly and Mikey's straight lips were curling at the edges at a slight hint of a smile.

"Wha- Wh- Huh?" Ray's lips opened and closed similarly to what a fish would do, when swimming contently around their bowl.

"Oh yea, Frank's my boyfriend" I laughed and pretended as if it were the most normal news in the world. I was surprised how little attention the rest of the room were paying towards our table, but there were one or two kids pointing and whispering to each other, some smiled and one, which I recognised to be Lindsey stormed out of the room with her red-headed friend following closely behind her.

But of all the people I'd rather not see what had just happened, did.

"FAGGOTS!" I heard being called from a few tables in front of me, it was Zack. The pathetic jock that reveled in making everyone else's lives miserable. Bert was sat next to him, staring at me and Frank like he would to something he'd just peeled off of his shoe.

"You disgust me" Zack called out, capturing the attention of the rest of the room. Bert still stared, I'm surprised his jaw stayed attached by how wide it with shock it was.

"I'd rather disgust you than be like you" Frank stood up in retaliation. I recalled the words Mikey had uttered to me before I'd walked into the cafeteria. My lyrics. _Stand up fucking tall, don't let them see your back. _

I stood up too.

"Oh you think you're tough now?" Zack spoke, mainly to me, the room was filled with silence but there were the occasional whispers of pupils hoping for a fight. I couldn't blame them; there wasn't much else you could look forward to as a student.

"We probably have more balls than you" I chimed in, gripping Frank's hand harder. Not out of fear, but out of anger that this dick had been going around, making people's lives a misery for so long with no one actually standing up to him. My comment took Zack off-guard, he stumbled over his words, furiously searching his brain for some witty comeback, but came back empty. When I thought the conversation had finished, I heard his voice once again.

"I bet you turned gay 'cause no girls wanted you." I couldn't help but laugh at his pathetic excuse of a comeback. In fact, quite a few people had let out giggles around the room. Yet, Bert still just stared, to be honest, it had started to creep me out a little.

"That's not true" A new voice called from the very edge of the room, my eyes shot up to meet the girls eyes. Lindsey had returned, with mascara stained eyes, I hadn't meant to hurt anyone and I felt awful but there was nothing I could do about it.

Zack span around quickly to face his new target and I heard the turning of chairs as everyone faced her. She looked around awkwardly, wondering whether or not she should have spoken up.

"What?" He snapped bitterly, spit flying out of his mouth in annoyance.

"I wanted Gerard." She stated, feeling more confident as she spoke.

"Lin, you wanted him?" Zack screamed in reply, his face turning a dark shade of red. Not from embarrassment, but from anger.

And that's when he lunged for me.


	17. Chapter 17 The shape I'm in

**A/N Update guys! **

**I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and got lots of MCR merch :) Thank you all so much for the reviews! It doesn't let me reply to those who don't have accounts so to you guys, thank you so much for reviewing, some of you say such kind things :') I love you all, you all keep me wanting to update, without you, I'd have stopped writing ages ago xD So enjoy this chapter and please review it so I can keep updating!**

**So much love,  
>Blue<br>Xo**

**Chapter 17 – Never mattered 'bout the shape I'm in**

In situations like that, if I were in a book or a movie, the scene would've played out completely differently. The character of the bully, aka Zack, would've stormed over hissing and cursing knocking chairs and tables over as he wove a path of destruction in my direction. He probably would've thrown a few punches, knocking me down to the floor, before finally I'd have stood up and punched him square in the face causing the kids all around to chant in encouraging cheers, as the bully was beaten at his own game.

But we're not characters in a book, nor are we actors in a film. It's real life and real life doesn't always go how you want it to.

I didn't really have time to react to what was happening, out of all the days for my reflexes to be slow, they chose to cop out the one time I actually needed them. I mostly remember clutching onto Frank's hand and turning to him as Zack stalked over, we smiled at each other, sending each other silent messages of support, before Frank's eyes widened in horror. But by that time, it was too late.

The blue plastic chair struck me at the back of my head, shattering all of my conscious thoughts and knocking me to the ground. I felt as though I'd been pushed off of a cliff, with ten-ton of bricks landing on me once I'd hit the bottom with a loud thud. The cold linoleum wasn't at all comforting to the one side of my face that rested upon it, icy chills ran up and down one side of my body, rooting out over my chest, grabbing a hold of my neck tightly, suffocating me.

The whole room began to blur into itself, like paints on a canvas, neatly constructed and then swirled all together creating a manic illusion. The room turned from sickly oranges, to violent reds before disturbing black spots began to add to the painting, growing and spreading as they splattered around, blinding me from the action that had suddenly erupted around me.

The last paint drop filled my vision as I fell into an unconscious state.

I awoke to a splitting, throbbing headache. I slowly attempted to open my sore, heavy eyes, but as I did so, they were knocked back shut by the blinding light. I didn't think I was on the cafeteria floor anymore as the surface I was laying on felt softer and warmer, but perhaps I'd just grown used to the feel of the floor. Everything about me felt heavy and weighed down from the blow I'd taken to my head.

I had no idea how long I'd been out for, I felt as though I'd been in a coma for a very long time and I had just awakened after twenty years of lying in the same position, only to find my parents had moved away and Frank had started a family of his own.

I'd seen a film once with a similar storyline to the one I was creating in my own mind, except instead of being beaten in the back of a head with a chair, the character had been in a car accident and entered a coma immediately. When he awoke, the only woman he'd ever loved had not only married another man, but also had a baby with him. The character's life was destroyed and to add to his list of disasters, he began to have visions of people's deaths. I remember being really into the film when I'd first seen it, but as I recalled the events of it, I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was called.

My thoughts were interrupted suddenly by someone's hand on mine; their thumb circled the back of my hand in soothing circles. I'd been completely oblivious to anyone else's presence, especially in the close proximity that we were in.

"Gerard?" A voice spoke softly, so softly I was unsure if I'd heard it at all.

"Gerard? Can you hear me?" The voice spoke again, but this time, I recognised it instantly. I don't know how I hadn't before, perhaps when Zack had knocked me out he somehow knocked my senses out through my ear.

I eventually found my voice and spoke to the first time in what felt like years.

"Frank?" I spoke as normally as I could, but my voice came out in a harsh whisper. I attempted to open my eyes once again, slower this time, so I could get used to the lighting. When they were finally fully opened, I saw Frank's kind eyes staring down at me with a light smile across his beautiful porcelain skin.

"Hey" He smiled wider as our eyes locked. I smiled in return, but I was stopped dead in my tracks when I noticed a blue hue patterning his ivory skin and small cut to the right of his bottom lip. I reached my hand up to lightly trace the light bruise that was beginning to develop underneath his left eye.

"What happened?" I asked indicating that I had seen the bruises and his cut lip.

"Zack happened" He laughed, lifting his own hand to meet my own against his face. Before I had time to reply to his comment he added, "How're you feeling?"

In the few seconds I'd been talking to Frank, I'd begun to feel better, the haziness of my vision was beginning to clear and my headache had become almost bearable. I wasn't yet one hundred percent, but I was getting there and luckily my voice had returned to its normal pitch.

"Fine" I only half-lied, as I finally realised my surroundings. I was in a very small room, a room so small that it must've been a broom cupboard before it was renovated. The walls were messily painted an off-white colour, a fake skeleton with half of it's limbs missing was sat in the corner of the room propped up against a cracked grey sink that was once a gleaming white and there was a small window at the end of the room which was so dirty you'd have to use a chisel to get all of the grime off. I was laying on what looked like a camp bed, with old tattered grey sheets tucked underneath me.

"What time is it?" I asked as I sat up abruptly, a wave of dizziness crashed into me and I almost fell back onto the pitiful excuse of a bed, but soon enough, the vertigo wore off and I was able to see and think clearly.

"It's nearly the end of lunch" Frank replied studying me, eyes wide with concern. I must've only been out for about twenty minutes but it felt like so much longer, my whole body ached and my eyes were filled with sleep. I flung my legs over the side of the bed and hopped up to a standing position and Frank followed suit.

"Where's Matron?" I asked Frank searching the small room for the chubby nurse that always had a smile on her face.

"Having her lunch, I told her I'd watch you" Frank said linking his arms around my waist and placing a quick kiss on my lips. But I quickly pulled away so we were face to face once again.

"You'd 'watch' me? You sound like I stalker" I joked, raising one eyebrow as I did so.

"Well, look after you I mean" Frank responded, laughing in return. I linked my fingers through his and walked towards the door.

"So, what happened?" I asked as we made our way back towards the cafeteria.

"Well, I've got a detention Friday and so does Zack. We're gonna have so much fun" Frank joked, but there was a hint of anger to his tone so I thought it best to leave the subject until I could speak to Mikey about it.

"How's my head?" I asked, changing the subject and stopping suddenly in the middle of the corridor.

"Well it bled, quite a bit, but it's stopped now. I'm just glad you're okay." Frank smiled. I couldn't help but beam right back at him.

"It doesn't matter about me, as long as you're okay" I said, before adding quickly, "Come over tonight? At like, five?" I asked, I wanted to see him straight after school but I also had to find out what had happened from Mikey so I thought an hour was enough time to get the information I needed. Frank nodded and right in the middle of the corridor with loads of passing students, we kissed.

I decided to leave my questions for Mikey for when we arrived home, I didn't want to talk about it on the move. I wanted to hear about what had happened when I'd, unfortunately blacked out. The second we stepped through the front door, I turned to Mikey, unable to contain my curiosity.

"What happened?" I almost shouted at him, his eyes widened in confusion as he placed his keys down on the side table that stood by our front door.

"What?" He almost laughed, looking at me as if I'd just been released from a mental institute. Which quite frankly, wouldn't surprise me if anyone ever got a hold of some of my paintings or poetry. I was one messed up kid.

"After I blacked out" I sighed impatiently. Mikey just rolled his eyes and walked towards the living room, with me following like a lost puppy behind him.

"Well, the second you were knocked out Frank fucking went mental. I've never seen him so angry in my whole life and I've seen him angry before, but never quite like that. It was unreal dude." Mikey started as he sat down on our old tattered couch.

"He managed to get the chair off of Zack and like threw it behind him, before he punched him in the face. Zack had no clue what had happened 'cause he was about to kick you, Frank stopped him. But then he punched Frank a couple times in retaliation. But that was the last straw for Frank he actually jumped on him, kinda like, pinned him down and just wouldn't stop punching him. Ray and I had to hold him back. Bert finally shut his fucking mouth and went over to Zack who was getting ready to attack Frank and held him back. They were both shouting at each other when Mr. Little came in. It was fucking mental Gee." When Mikey finished he lay back in his seat and put his hands behind his head, I noticed he looked tired. I felt like I hadn't spoken to Mikey properly in quite a while, we used to have one to one chats quite often but I'd been so wrapped up with Frank I hadn't thought to ask Mikey how he was doing.

"What's happening between you and Alicia?" I asked and as soon as the words escaped my lips Mikey looked up at me, taken aback by the abrupt subject change. But after a few moments he shut his eyes and groaned.

"Not great" He sighed squeezing his eyes shut tighter.

"You know, it would help if you actually spoke to the girl" I punched his arm playfully and his eyes shot open.

"I will!" He cried defensively, pushing me away from him.

"Oh yea?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Yea" He muttered quietly, unsure of himself.

"When?" I asked. It felt good to talk to Mikey again, even if it was taking the piss out of him. I knew it wouldn't upset him and even if it did, he wouldn't stay mad at me for long, he never could. I once broke his favourite toy car, I thought it'd be an new interesting way to paint if I dipped the wheels in paint and then drove it around the paper to leave tracks. But my Mom had called me to dinner just as I'd put it in the paint pot and I completely forgot about it for days, when I eventually remembered it the wheels were all stuck with thick yellow paint which clogged up every inch of the car. He'd made a big fuss of being mad at me, but when I offered for him to share my chocolate bar about an hour later, we were fine again.

"Soon" He stated, as if convincing himself that he was going finally work up the courage to ask her out.

I watched some crappy TV with Mikey for a while, just to spend some time with him until the doorbell rang, I knew it'd be Frank but I still opened the door slowly to make sure.

"Hey" I smiled, opening the door wider for him to walk in.

"Hey" He smiled back and placed a soft kiss on my cheek. He immediately began walking down the stairs, without even asking me if that was where we were going. I liked the way he walked in as if it were his second home; it gave me an odd warm feeling in my stomach. When we made it down to my room, Frank stood in the middle of it and glanced around, studying every inch of it before he walked slowly over to my desk. I'd left an array of paintings on the table, which Frank picked up individually and studied carefully. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him, breathing lightly onto his shoulder.

"These are really good Gerard" He whispered pointing to the desk.

"Thanks" I whispered into his neck, not really taking the compliment.

"What's this?" Frank asked, picking up a piece of paper that looked out of place.

_Well shit. _I thought to myself.


	18. Chapter 18 I'll never let them hurt you

**A/N Heyy, so this chapter is kinda more important to me, because the thing Frank finds on Gerard's desk is actually created by me, (I'm trying to not give anything away xD) So if you guys like it, or don't like it, please review to let me know! And, I just wanna thank you, again, for reviewing and reading :) It makes me really happy :3 Especially now, as I'm really ill. I've been in bed for like, two days now. Yaaaaaaaaay. Anyway, hope you like the chapter! Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 18 – I'll never let them hurt you, I promise**

Frank slowly lifted the sheet of paper to his face and read the words intently. A small frown placed across his confused brow, I would've snatched it out of his hands if my reflexes were working properly that day. Instead, I let him read it, his eyes flicking from side to side of the paper, taking in each word separately. It wouldn't surprise me if he stormed out of the room then and there and never saw me again.

I didn't notice which poem Frank had found as I unfolded my arms from him and turned my back to him, trying to make it easier for him walk away from me. I didn't notice my eyes were closed when I felt arms wrap around my waist.

"Gerard" Frank spoke softly, forcing me to open my eyes and turn into his embrace.

"Which one did you see?" I groaned, hoping it wasn't _too _messed up. Whenever I wrote poetry, it'd be extremely morbid. I just couldn't write happy poems, because I'd never _been_ happy. Until I'd found Frank. Perhaps now, the poetry I'd write would be happier, brighter, to reflect my new-found love for life. I'd love to write a poem for Frank, about Frank, explaining how he saved me from my self-destruction. Except I just wouldn't know where, or how to start.

Frank stretched his hand out in front of me and offered me the sheet of paper, which I took, reluctantly and began to read.

'_I am restricted,  
>Whenever I reach out, I coil back in.<br>I pour my heart out onto paper away from prying eyes,  
>Written in the moonlight of the blackened sparkling sky.<em>

_Knocked down with every laugh, struck with every smile,  
>Why not reveal in misery a while?<br>Drips of my soul paint down my cheeks at night,  
>If there's only freedom in destruction,<br>Then why does it feel so right?'_

I sighed at the irony of the words, 'away from prying eyes', clearly I hadn't hidden it well enough. I was just grateful that it wasn't the most depressing poem I'd written.

"Sorry" I mumbled. I wasn't quite sure why I apologised; perhaps it was so that Frank wouldn't think I was a complete and utter nutcase. Or maybe I thought that one word would make the words I'd written magically disappear into thin air.

"Don't be." Frank leant into my body, resting his head in the nape of my neck.

"When did you write it?" He asked, his voice as shaky as I felt.

"Ages ago" I replied, I couldn't remember the exact date I'd written it but I was sure it was the day I'd gone to school, determined to be happy, I even contributed in class, only to have my thoughts ambushed and laughed at by everyone in the class, including my teacher. I thought my day had started badly, but it wasn't only when I had arrived home and found that my uncle was in serious debt, which caused an argument between my parents, resulting in my Dad staying at my Grandma's for the night that I realised my whole day was a mess. Everything I had built the day up to be, had crumbled around me.

"You don't feel like this anymore. Do you?" Frank asked worriedly, lifting his head up to look me directly in the eyes, forcing me to tell the truth.

"No. Not at all. I'm happy, for the first time in my life. And I won't let anything bring me down" I whispered, honestly. Lifting Frank's chin with one finger and pulling him towards me for a kiss. We kissed for a moment before Frank suddenly pulled away.

"Have you written any since?" He asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

"Um, no" I answered truthfully. I hadn't thought to write any since Frank had entered my life, I didn't need to pour my problems out on a single sheet of crisp white paper. I didn't need to, because I didn't have any problems to complain about. Frank had made my life so much better and he didn't even know it.

"Why not? Surely you'd want to see how different the two poems are in comparison?" He wondered aloud. Frank's words convinced me to attempt to write the poem I'd thought about writing not moments before. I wouldn't think too hard about what I was writing, I'd just let the pen guide me. Only then can your true feelings be revealed, when you plan what you're going to write, you tend to think of words that'd go together and rhyme instead of the words you felt were _right. _

"But even so, that poem" Frank paused and pointed to the crumpled paper, he must've accidently dropped when we kissed.

"Is kind of beautiful. In a weird way" He smiled as I searched his face for a sign of sarcasm and came back empty. I couldn't help but cock my eyebrow at him questioningly. I mean, my words were a lot of things, but beautiful was not one of them.

"It is. Sometimes, even the darkest things can be beautiful. In my opinion anyway" He added, shrugging. I ran my hands up and down his arms, in a comforting manner, yet there was nothing for him to be comforted for. It was a subtle way of me showing him I understood and that I agreed.

We stood, in the middle of my room, for quite a while. Hugging, touching and occasionally kissing, just enjoying each other's company. Until I suggested we went upstairs to the living room to watch a film.

As we walked up the aged, creaky stairs away from my room, the sweet aroma of beef being braised in a sharp red wine wafted in the air. I didn't enjoy the bitter taste of wine, unless it was used as a sauce, my parents would constantly feed me lines about how my taste buds will change the older I got and I'll go off of cider and beer and learn to love wine. But I never believed them. Even when I was a baby they'd give me little sips of the glistening mauve liquid, it seemed they wanted to mould me into their perfect sophisticated child from a very early age.

My parents had always wanted not so much children, but mini versions of themselves. It explained why they'd dress me and Mikey in outrageous outfits, because they thought it'd be cute for us to look like my Dad, even down to his circular glasses.

As we walked past the kitchen my Mom spun round to the sound of our footsteps, her hair was straggly and flour dusted her forehead. She was a good cook, but by the amount of panicking she did in the kitchen you wouldn't believe it.

"Frank!" She squealed excitedly, similarly to how a child reacts to their parents arriving home after a long day at the office. She extended her arms as she walked over to him, embracing him in a hug, which he politely returned.

"Um, hey Mom" I muttered, absurdly feeling a slight pang of jealousy that my Mom seemed more excited to see Frank than she was to see me.

"Sorry darling." She replied standing on her tip-toes to place a wet kiss on my forehead, causing my cheeks to flush red with embarrassment. Before she could say anything to cause further embarrassment, or suggest watching another baby video, I clutched Frank's hand and dragged him into the living room.

He slumped down onto the black leather couch that quite frankly had seen better days. On the left corner there seemed to be an arse print from where my father always insisted on sitting. And the whole thing was covered with scratches, but it didn't bother me, it made the house seem more homely.

I took my place next to him, keeping a hold of his hand as I snuggled next to him. I handed him the remote for the television, not really caring what he put on. I always thought television was a bit of a waste of time, I mean, I always enjoyed going to the movies or sitting and watching the occasional crappy horror they'd play but it just seemed that so many people wasted their lives watching the black box. The last thing I wanted to do was piss my life away watching television when there was so many more important things I could be doing with my life. Like listening to music, painting or eventually, even making music.

"Don't tell anyone about that poem by the way Frank, please" I whispered, keeping my voice down so that my Mother wouldn't hear that I wrote poetry. I'm sure she'd be supportive but I felt embarrassed that I wrote it. Then again, I wasn't sure that what I wrote could even be classed as poetry.

"I won't, I wouldn't. You can trust me Gerard" Frank whispered back.

"I know I can" I replied, glancing out the window at the horizon. The sun was beginning to set and there was a gorgeous lilac tint to the sky, making the whole evening seem even more romantic.

"I won't let you ever feel like that again either Gerard" Frank's melodic voice broke me from my trance and forced me to look him in his deep hazel eyes.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, I promise" I couldn't help my actions once Frank spoke those words, they seemed to trigger something inside of me and despite the number of times I'd heard similar lines in movies, I could tell Frank spoke the absolute truth. And I knew, I'd never let anyone hurt him either. I pressed my lips against his, in mutual understanding; there was no desperation in the kiss. We were going at perfect pace, we didn't want to rush into anything or do anything we'd regret. We were both new to it all and it'd take some time getting used to. But I was willing to begin trying new things.

Without prying my lips from Frank's I fumbled my hand around for the remote, eventually I felt my fingers curl around the rough edge of the plastic and I quickly switched the TV off. I felt Frank pull away after a moment, confused as to what happened to the sound that just seconds before had been blaring out of the speakers. But when our eyes met, he seemed to acknowledge what I was thinking and pulled himself and myself up from the couch and began leading me down the stairs.

We entered the black abyss that was my bedroom and I shut the door quietly behind me. As I turned around, I met Frank's lips. He pinned me against the door, using one hand to prevent me from moving as he used one finger from his other hand to run up and down my right arm, sending shivers throughout my body. He pressed himself further into me, the rubbing of fabrics seemed to cause electric shocks sparking between us, resulting in me letting out a moan against my will, which only encouraged Frank further. I could feel myself harden beneath my jeans as Frank pulled his lips away from mine and turned his attention towards my neck, where he began to bite and suck gently at sensitive spots that only turned me on more.

It wasn't until Frank rubbed against me again that I realised he was as hard as I was, I didn't think it'd be possible for him to be turned on by turning _me _on. But I didn't spend much time on that thought as Frank himself let out a moan against my neck, I had to wrap one arm around his waist and dig my nails into his flesh to prevent my knees from giving way.

I gave up from keeping quiet after that, I couldn't prevent the moans that began to escape my lips and I'd never been so grateful for having a basement bedroom to drown out the noise. I felt Frank remove himself from my neck and I was about to look at him questioningly when I felt his hand slowly begin to move up the inside of my leg, a suggestive smile planted across his face. I leant my head back to keep myself upright and Frank took this as an invitation to begin working on my neck yet again. I gasped when he reached my crotch, I felt Frank breath a satisfied laugh in response. He pulled away from my neck again to rest his forehead against mine as he began to unzip my jeans. I was nervous. You'd think these kind of things would come naturally to you, but they don't. You can't expect to wake up and know exactly how to pleasure someone, especially of the same sex. But Frank, oddly seemed to know what he was doing. I shivered under Frank's touch as he ran a single finger down from the nape my neck, down towards my crotch and as his finger moved, so did he. His finger hooked over my boxers as he knelt on his knees. My breathing was heavy already, but when my boxers were down and Frank's hand clasped my hardened member, my breathing increased in speed.

He began pumping with his hand slowly, until he abruptly stopped and looked at up at me as if asking for permission. Well, that's how it seemed; in fact, he just wanted to see the desperation on my face as he ran his tongue from base to tip. My whole body began to shake with anticipation as Frank repeated the action, a smirk deep in his eyes. It felt like an eternity before Frank fully took me in his mouth, moving back and forth slowly to begin with, I'd never been sucked off before and I'd never felt anything like it. The moans were now flowing thick and fast as Frank began to speed up his movements. In one loud moan I climaxed and that was enough for my legs to give way and I became a bundle of limbs behind my bedroom door.

I looked up at Frank who wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, which caused me to notice that he'd swallowed. I was shocked that he had, because I'd heard, from girls that had told Ray, that it tasted gross.

I pulled my jeans up, before climbing on top of Frank, ready to pay him back, action by action for what he'd done for me.

Until we were stopped, mid-kiss, by the sound of glass shattering.

Followed by a scream.

My Mother's scream.


	19. Chapter 19  Your eyes vacant

**A/N 'Ello Jello :) I hope you liked the last chapter AND liked the poem I wrote :3 Thank you for reviewing all the previous chapters, by the end of this Frerard I want 100 reviews, 'cause I'm greedy like that xD And, also, I'm trying to update as soon as I can but it may take me a while because I might have a kidney infection, I'm lucky like that. Anyway, I'ma stop complaining now. Hope you like the chapter! I think it's the worse one I've ever written. Not even joking, this chapter is pretty shit. Sorry xD**

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 19 – Your eyes vacant and stained**

The second we heard the scream, Frank and I just stared at each other in shock. Eventually, it clicked and we sprinted up the stairs towards the kitchen. I paused at the door as I took in the scene that had erupted while we were downstairs.

The tiled floor was littered with shattered glass, caused by a single chalky red brick that protruded unnaturally in the middle of the floor. My eyes followed the shattered glass towards the window where it'd been thrown through. The glass remaining had taken on a marbled effect caused by the trauma of the glass breaking and as the wind blew, little bits of glass dripped onto the floor.

I then turned my attention to my Mother, who was standing in the corner shaking, wide eyes fixated on the brick. I carefully tip-toed around the broken jagged glass and made my way over to my terrified mother.

I hadn't seen her so shaken up in my whole life and I prayed I wouldn't have to see it again. It wasn't something you expect to see of a parent, they're supposed to be the glue of the family, keeping everything together and hiding their weaknesses. Parents weren't supposed to be the ones cowering in the corner, lips trembling with petrified eyes.

"Mom" I whispered, carefully taking her hand and willing her to look at me. Her eyes darted from the window to the brick, back and forth a few times before slowly resting on me. She didn't say anything, she just stared at me, lips still quavering. I didn't know what to do then, what if she would forever be in shock? Would I have to keep an eye on her 24/7? I knew it was only a brick that had been thrown into our house but you never expect things like that to happen to you.

Even in New Jersey, one of the most dangerous states to live in. It wasn't as though you were ignorant to what was happening around you, everyone _knew _what the civilians were capable of. You just don't imagine it happening to you. Like a few months ago they found a body in the river of West Hudson Park and that same day people were out walking their dogs along the river bank as usual. You can't live your life in fear, you can't let what has happened affect your future, you just have to carry on with your everyday life. Of course, people were a lot more careful, but it didn't stop them going out with their friends or going to work.

"Mom. What happened?" I asked, squeezing her hand comfortingly. She didn't seem to fully be focusing on me, sure she was looking at me, but her eyes were vacant.

"I-" Her mouth opened and closed numeral times before she managed to put together a coherent sentence.

"I don't know" She swallowed hard, her voice came out weak and tired. I was aware Frank was in the room, but he was fumbling around with something behind me. I would turn round, but I didn't want to turn away from my Mom. I wished more than anything my Dad could arrive home, he'd know how to calm Mom down, he always knew.

"Did you see who threw it?" I asked, desperately trying to make sense of the situation.

"No." She replied honestly. "One minute I was cooking and the next there was glass everywhere. I didn't- I couldn't-" She began shaking violently and I felt useless trying to comfort her. I couldn't think of anything to say to make the situation better and so instead, I just wrapped my arms around her and cradled her, hoping that the hug was comfort enough.

"Um Gerard?" I heard Frank speak quietly from behind me and I turned to face him. An expression of worry was evident on his face, his brows were furrowed and his mouth was turned up in half a smile to convey sympathy.

"Where's your broom? You take your Mom into the living room and I'll clear up this mess" He spoke softly and I was so grateful for having him round, if my Mom didn't see the damage then perhaps her state of shock would wear off quicker. I mouthed a thank you to Frank and nudged my head towards the cupboard that held the broom and in reply he just nodded as if it were nothing.

"Mom? Let's go in the living room" I spoke quietly, not wanting to raise my voice too much.

"We'll make you a nice cup of tea and once this is cleared up you can show me more of those baby videos of Gerard" Frank laughed quietly and I was surprised that he managed to receive a reaction off of my Mom. Her back straightened up and she smiled lightly in Frank's direction before she wandered towards the living room.

"Okay, you may have made her smile. But the whole showing of baby videos, is so_ not _happening" I asserted before following my Mom into the living room.

I flicked the television on as my Mom sat down on the couch and handed her the remote. Before deciding to go back into the kitchen and help Frank out. The colour of my Mom's cheeks had returned back to her natural complexion and the trembling had ceased.

As I re-entered the kitchen, Frank had begun sweeping up all the shards of glass and already there was an improvement in the room. However, there was an icy chill from the dark night blowing through the crack in the window. The sun always seemed to set so quickly in October.

"Thanks for doing that Frank" I murmered, leaning against the door frame and watching as Frank swept up the last pile of broken glass.

"Don't mention it" He replied, collecting up the shards and putting them in the bin.

"But Gerard, I have to show you something" He spoke hesitantly. I moved further into the room so it would be easier for us to talk. He motioned for me to shut the door before he would continue speaking.

"This was attached to the brick." Frank held out a crumpled piece of dirty white paper for me to take.

As I unfolded the paper slowly, I felt butterflies swarm around in the pit of my stomach. Frank must've found it too bad to show me in front of my Mom and then an even worse thought doomed on me.

What if the brick was thrown because of me?

When I'd unfurled all of the edges of the paper and smoothed out the sheet so that it was readable, my heart sunk.

The brick _was _thrown because of me. And that made the whole situation that much more horrific. My Mom was the one to witness the brick throwing, but it wasn't her they were aiming for. It wasn't her they wanted to hurt. It was me.

The one word hideously stood out on the paper, it was scrawled in an ugly green ink that resembled all disgusting things that are green, such as vomit and mould and it echoed around my brain as I re-read the paper.

_Faggot. _

Whoever wrote it, clearly must be homophobic. There are two types of homophobic people. The first is the type that's against homosexuals and may sign petitions to ban things such as gay marriage but they wouldn't actually do anything to physically hurt the person in question. Granted, they'd hurt them from their words and opinions but they wouldn't actually lay a finger on them. Probably because they'd be too scared to 'catch something', they're the kind of people that believe being gay is a disease, something that can be cured. Which, of course, it's not. It's not even a choice; no one _chooses _to be gay. No one wakes up in the morning and thinks; I'm going to be gay today. It's a mind set and nothing can be done about it. I once saw this show on television where they actually tried to cure this man of being gay. They sat him down in a chair and this 'doctor' said to the man, 'You can eat bananas, but if they remind you of anything, then you shouldn't eat them' and I couldn't help but laugh at the stupidity of it all. Although, I'm sure there are people out there that truly do want to be 'cured' but you and I both know that that's not possible. You can't force yourself into liking the opposite sex and you should be proud of yourself no matter what sexuality you are.

But then there are those other people that hate homosexuals and everything about them. The ones that believe gay people are a disgrace to the human race and should be punished for their 'choice' in life. The ones that deliberately set out to _physically _hurt someone.

And the feeling of dread deep in my stomach knew that I was dealing with the second type of person.

"What are we going to do?" Frank asked worriedly. The last thing I wanted to do was break it off with Frank so soon after we got together. Of course our relationship wasn't going to be easy, it was going to be frowned upon and dismissed by some people. But if we were willing to take the risk then that's all that mattered. I lifted my head and looked straight into Frank's waiting eyes.

"We're not going to let this affect us" I said confidently and ripped up the paper.

"But I don't want your family to get hurt because of me" He replied sadly. Did Frank honestly think this was his fault? It was no one's fault, we couldn't help how we felt towards each other and we shouldn't be punished because of that, which is why we needed to stay together now more than ever, to prove that we were serious about each other.

"Frank. This is NOT your fault" I whispered cupping his chin with my hand. "This sort of thing is just someone being stupid, they probably regret it now. But we need to prove them that this" I gestured towards me and Frank. "This is not going to end just because they think it should. Okay?" I asked, hoping that I'd said enough to make Frank feel better. He let it sink in before he kissed me lightly on the lips and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now let's go watch some of those baby videos" Frank laughed dragging me out of the kitchen and towards the living room.

I wondered how we were going to fix the window, it was too late for a repair man to come out, but we couldn't just leave a gaping hole in the front of the house. That would just be asking for trouble. When my Dad arrived home and we informed him of the incident he was furious. It took me and my Mom everything to prevent him from storming out of the house and 'killing the little bastards'.

When my Dad was angry, he'd stay angry for a long time. His face would puff up and turn a ferocious shade of scarlet; he was actually terrifying when he was like that. I was just thankful he wasn't that angry at me. I remember when I was younger when he got angry like that at me for deciding to give my teddy bear a hair cut but I used bleach as 'shampoo' and dripped it all over the carpet, consequently staining it. His face began turning the deep red and I remember I'd laughed out of pure fear and he hit the roof. He said I wasn't allowed to watch television, have friends over or have any toys for the rest of the year. Of course, my Mom later convinced him that a week was enough punishment for me. After that I tended to avoid my Father when he got in one of his moods.

He fixed the window with some sort of plastic he had stored in the garage, and then applied layer upon layer of black tape to secure it. It blacked out the room but at least it was safer than it had been.

Frank left soon after that, he'd be round the next day anyway to teach me guitar. Even though we were now a couple, I was still failing music and so Frank was still going to come round every Tuesday to teach me the music knowledge I was sorely lacking.

As I lay in bed that night, I thought that the worst surely must be over.

But I was wrong.


	20. Chapter 20 They might fill your place

**A/N Yo :) I hope you're all okay and having a lovely January :P Thank you for your reviews, they all mean so much to me. Every time I see that I have an email saying someone reviewed it I freak out xD YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. Thank you for sticking with the story and just being awesome. Just FYI my twitter name's changed, so if you want to follow me, it's now EleanorMCRdeRoy :) Cool, that's all. Hope you like the chapter and please review it! :3**

**Blue, L, Whatever you wanna call me :3  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 20 – They might fill your place, a temporary stand-in for your face**

A couple of weeks had passed since the brick incident, we didn't speak of it. It was as if it had never happened. The day after it had occurred, Dad got the window fixed and it was as if by patching up the window, we blocked it out of mind. I didn't tell my Dad about the note and I was hesitant to tell my Mom about it. I didn't want her to worry about me, I was fine, and it was just some homophobic twat acting, 'tough'. He wouldn't actually lay a finger on me, well, I _hoped_ he wouldn't.

Halloween was approaching extremely quickly, which meant Frank's Birthday was approaching just as quick. I had a few ideas for what to get Frank, but I wasn't entirely sure just yet. I thought perhaps I could get him a band top, he already had a Black Flag top so I thought maybe he'd like a Misfits top. Seeing as they're one of his favourite bands.

I really, really wanted to buy him a Jag-Stang guitar. He'd mentioned in one of our previous guitar lessons that that was his dream guitar. When he talked about it, I had no idea what he meant, until I looked it up after he left. It was a beautiful guitar and it was designed by Kurt Cobain which made it even better. I wished desperately that I could afford one, but I just didn't have enough money. So that idea was soon discarded.

I wanted to get Frank something he really wanted, something special, that he could treasure forever, not just a band top.

I sighed and stared out the window of the gloomy classroom, the rain was seriously dampening my mood. I heard once that the weather reflects the majority of people's moods. If you thought about it, it did make sense. I mean, when it's pouring with rain outside you instantly feel less energetic and less motivated to go outside and get soaked. Whereas, if the weather was sunny you would waste no time hesitating, you'd immediately head outside to soak up the sun. It's just human nature.

So when we were assigned an essay in English, I really couldn't be bothered. We had to write about the representation of money in the novel, 'The Great Gatsby'. I don't think I'd ever been given a more boring assignment. It didn't help that I had more important things to be planning, like where to take Frank on his Birthday.

I picked up my pen and began tapping it relentlessly on the table. I didn't know how to start writing. I hadn't been paying attention throughout the whole hour Mrs. Reman was monotonously banging on about symbolism and escapism so all I knew was that I had to write the essay about money. I had missed the class 'planning process' and if I asked her to repeat herself I'd definitely get a detention. I sighed before I pressed the pen to paper and copied the title she'd written on the board. I'd just have to improvise, the title to be honest was pretty self explanatory and at least I'd have something written down, even if it's the wrong thing.

I wrote the first line about ten times before I was finally happy with it, I always took the most time on the introductions, I never knew exactly how you were supposed to set them out and how to give an insight into the essay without giving anything away. Conclusions also took the majority of my time, they were pretty much the same as introductions but it was summing up what you'd already written. It seemed a bit pointless to me. But once I'd got past the first hurdle which was the introduction, the actual body of the essay seemed to flow from me easily.

I remember back when I first came to high school we were taught a method called, 'PEE' which of course at our age at the time, the whole class had erupted in a fit of giggles. However, the method itself was very useful and had saved my back in a number of different essay assignments. It stood for, point, evidence, explain. So you make your point, give a quote from the text and then explain your point. Simple. Although, it did still take me the full two hours to finish the assignment before I eventually handed it in when the bell rang for lunch and I could finally join Frank at our usual table.

"Hey" He whispered as I sat down next to him and leant in for a kiss, I smiled as our lips met.

"Hey" I replied pulling away and resting our foreheads together. Frank and I only had a moment alone before Ray and Bob arrived.

"Sup motherfuckers?" Bob joked, throwing himself into the chair.

"What a nice greeting" Frank said sarcastically, but not in a malicious way, he had a smile on his angelic face. Frank would never say anything spiteful or anything to deliberately hurt someone and that was one of the reasons as to why I felt like I did towards him.

"Did you guys watch that film last night?" Ray asked opening his pale lunch box and pulling out a packaged sandwich.

"Erm, genius, there were loads of films on last night" Bob replied opening a chip pack and stuffing three in his mouth at a time. I laughed at my friends and it was almost as if the brick incident really had never happened. Almost.

"Hilarious. I mean 'The Dead Zone'" Ray replied, chewing over a mouthful of a chicken mayo sandwich. My head shot up, suddenly interested in the conversation, _that _was the name of the movie I was thinking about the other day but couldn't remember the name of.

"That's an awesome movie" I stated, recalling the events of it. Ray nodded enthusiastically in agreement, a spot of mayonnaise lingered on his chin, I thought about telling him but then changed my mind. I'd rather stay amused at his lack of coordination. How can you miss your mouth? It makes no sense to me.

"What happens in it?" Frank asked leaning forward eagerly, he hadn't seemed to be paying much attention to the conversation either until I'd contributed. Was he only paying an interest because I liked it? Ray began to explain the events of the movie, in an extremely confusing way might I add, when Mikey came and sat down next to me.

"But it asks the penultimate question, if you could, would you go back in time and kill Hitler?" Ray asked, eyes wide with excitement.

"Yes" Frank answered immediately. I turned to look at him, his lip ring shining against his pale skin, he really was the most beautiful creature I'd ever set eyes on. And he was _mine, _it'd been around a month now, but I still couldn't get over the fact that_ I_ had someone like Frank. It all just seemed too good to be true. I wasn't the sort of person that would get their fairytale ending, I was the sort of person that would be rejected by the love of my life and publically humiliated for even thinking I stood a chance with them. But then again, how many fairytales have you seen where the main character was gay?

"Ahh, it's not that simple though. You'd be assassinated too, because no one would know that Hitler would turn out to be this psychotic mass murderer. You'd lose everything" Ray contested. Pleased with his response.

"What's one life when millions of other's lives are at risk?" Frank opposed. I couldn't help but smile at his strong opinion of the subject issue. I was extremely proud of him, you should always stand up for what you believe in and Frank was proving this point very well.

"You have a point there Frank" Mikey said handing me a bag of chips. Sometimes, I'd run out of the house so quickly to meet Frank, I'd forget a vital item needed throughout the day. Food. I smiled apologetically at Mikey, who just rolled his eyes in response to my stupidity.

"As much as I'd love to talk about this movie that I've never heard of before in my life, I'd rather talk about something where I can actually contribute" Bob sighed, screwing the empty chip packet up and throwing it into the middle of the table.

"What do you wanna talk about then Bob-Freak?" Ray asked turning his nose up at Bob's comment.

"I dunno." Bob sighed picking absently at the peeling plastic on the table in front of him.

"Well, how are we supposed to talk about, 'I dunno'" Ray air-quoted him sarcastically. No matter how mean my friends were to each other, they both knew they were only joking and meant no harm by it.

I glanced around the cafeteria, scanning the sea of faces for Bert. When I spotted him he had his back to me and his head was down. He was sitting with a girl with short dark brown hair that bounced in curls around her shoulders; I'd never seen her before. I wondered if I should go over and talk to Bert, I hadn't spoken to him in around a month and I kinda missed talking to him. He seemed to begin avoiding me when he found out about mine and Frank's relationship.

He honestly couldn't be freaked out or disgusted by my sexuality, I mean, it was him that had kissed me in the first place. Unless he'd only kissed me because he knew I was straight? And then when he found out I was gay he suddenly became disgusted by it? Or that maybe he thought I'd had a crush on him or something? Surely not. That would be ridiculous! That couldn't be why he was avoiding me. I wanted to find out why he wasn't talking to me, but maybe he wanted some space from me for a while. If that was the case, then I'd give him as much space as he needed.

It was only after that train of thought that I noticed I hadn't seen Zack around school in the entire time since the chair incident. Perhaps he'd been told to take a break from school and come back when he'd 'calmed down'. Either way, his absence didn't bother me. At least I could walk around school without the fear of being punched out of nowhere.

It was a Friday and despite it being the start of the weekend I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Frank was going away with his Mom straight after school to go and visit his Grandparents in Delaware for the weekend. They'd be driving back Sunday night so that he'd be back in school for Monday, his Birthday. So I'd have to spend the first weekend since we'd got together alone. It's not like I couldn't have a good weekend without Frank, I'd just be distracted the whole time. My friends may be able to keep me busy, and may be able to stand-in for him while he was away, but I'd still miss him terribly and no one could ever fully replace Frank. He was my boyfriend after all. Then again, I suppose it would give me some shopping time and I could catch up with Mikey, I hadn't thought about asking him how he and Alicia were recently. We hadn't spoken about her in a while, I'm not sure if he ever did go and tell her how he felt.

All too quickly the bell for the end of lunch rang and we were all forced to enter the dullness of confined classrooms once again, to learn about things we would never need to know about once we'd left school. I turned to Frank just as he turned to face me.

"I guess I'll see you on your Birthday then" I said miserably, even though he'd only be gone a maximum of three days, I couldn't help but feel down about the whole situation.

"If I get back early on Sunday I'll call you straight away" He whispered, mirroring my look of despair.

"I'm going to miss you so much" I muttered, resting my forehead against his so that only he could hear me.

"I'm going to miss you too" He said honestly, his voice cracking mid-sentence as if he were trying to stop himself from crying. I wanted so much to tell him that I was in love with him then, we hadn't said it to each other yet and I didn't want to say it right before he left. I'd say it when I came back.

"The worst thing is, my Grandparents won't let me even look at my phone when I'm around them. They're so uptight about technology. But I'll text you whenever I can" He spoke again, so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I was going to go crazy that weekend, it was bad enough that I couldn't _see _Frank, but to not even be able to _talk _to him, made the whole thing ten times harder.

"Okay" I replied, unsure of what else to say. Frank seemed to understand though and pressed his lips gently against mine. It was the most loving kiss we'd ever shared, it seemed to represent everything we wanted to say to each other in that moment, I couldn't think of a better way to say Goodbye. We mutually broke the kiss to smile at each other before we embraced each other in a hug before we both got up and walked our separate ways.

After a long two long hours of hearing about Pythagoras' theorem in Math, it was finally time for us to go home. I got up sulkily and began walking towards the locker area. I quickly discarded myself of my redundant books that I wouldn't need over the weekend and walked over to where Bob, Ray and Mikey were all waiting for me.

"Cheer up Gee, he'll be back before you know it" Bob smiled tapping me comfortingly on the arm.

"I know, I'll just miss him" I said honestly, as we started towards the door that lead out into the drizzling rain. I pulled my hood up nonchalantly and strode absently next to my friends, as much as I should've contributed to their conversation, I just didn't feel like talking. Until I heard Ray mention tattoos, my head shot up as I realised what I could get Frank for his Birthday. I could get him a Misfits top, but I could also pay for his 'HALLOWEEN' tattoo that he'd specifically said he wanted when I first met him.

I grabbed Ray in a massive bear hug and thanked him over and over again. I hadn't exactly explained as to why I had acted as suddenly as I had but I was far too excitable. So excited I began to run home, leaving a baffled Mikey, Ray and Bob behind me.

I skidded around the corner that lead towards my road and stopped dead in my tracks.

I blinked in disbelief.

But it wouldn't go away.

My good mood was suddenly destroyed.


	21. Chapter 21 The only hope for me is you

**A/N Goooooood evening my beautiful readers :) Sorry this has taken so long to update! I've been so stressed it's unreal D: I hope you're all in fabulous moods. My kidney's okay! WOOP. Thank you all so much for your reviews, I love knowing what you think! Also if you want to follow me on twitter my name's EleanorMCRdeRoy – ask for a follow back! : ) Hope you like the chapter, SHIT'S GOING DOWNNNN, let me know what you think! Again, there's some of my poetry in this chapter, lemme know what you think of that too :')**

**Blue  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 21 – The only hope for me is you**

I averted my gaze, blinking several times. Wishing, hoping, _praying_ that what I'd seen wasn't real.

It couldn't be.

Of course it couldn't be.

Could it?

They wouldn't!

Would they?

I lifted my eyes to stare straight at it, my heart sunk, it was there, as sturdy as a rock. I couldn't hold in my disgust and despair any longer. I turned my face to the bushes by the side of the road and the contents of my stomach spilled over, coating the dry leaves in the vulgar substance.

"Gerard? What's wrong?" Mikey asked, patting his hand on my back. He sounded breathless, as if he'd run over towards me.

I couldn't bring myself to speak, and so instead, lifted my hand shakily and pointed my finger towards the wooden pole protruding sickeningly out of the frosted lawn of our house.

"What the-?" Mikey started, clearly too shocked to comment any further. I lifted my hazy head up slowly to stare furiously at the 'SOLD' sign that was invading our front lawn.

"It can't be for our house" Mikey muttered more to himself than to me.

"Mikey, it's' in _our _front lawn. Who else is it going to be for?" I replied through my teeth. The anger was searing through me. How could our parents have put our house up for sale without even telling us? I steadied myself before storming towards the black front door, Mikey trailing behind. I slammed the door open and stormed into the living room, where my Mom and Dad seemed to be waiting for us.

"What the hell is going on?" I screamed at the two of them, sat side by side. They didn't even flinch, didn't even tell me off for shouting. They just looked at me with blank expressions, my hands balled up into fists. If they hadn't answered me, I'm pretty sure I would've punched something, or worse, some_one._

"Gerard, Michael, you both need to sit down" Mom said calmly motioning for both of us to sit down on the opposite couch. I knew the situation was serious as my Mom barely ever called Mikey, Michael. Mikey must've noticed it too as he quietly sat down.

"Why are we moving?" I demanded as I slumped down into the old couch.

"Gerard. I saw the note attached to the brick" As soon as the words left my Mom's lips, I remembered the single word the coward had scrawled onto a single sheet of paper. The revolting word 'faggot' permanently inked in my brain. I swallowed the bile that had begun to rise up my throat. My attempt at hiding the note was clearly a failed endeavour.

"We shouldn't move because of that" I spat, my voice coming out hoarse from the anger that was flooding through me.

"Gerard. That's only one of the reasons" My Dad said, his hands placed in his lap, willing me to calm down with his tone of voice. But I couldn't calm down. How could I? They were dragging me away from my home, my friends, my _boyfriend! _And they didn't even think to discuss it with me and Mikey? I didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive them.

"Your Grandma's ill" Dad continued, attempting to keep his voice at an even level and failing. Mom quickly placed her hand on his knee in encouragement. He shook his head as if to clear away the tears that were forming.

"Your Grandmother's ill. Very ill. We're moving to stay near her, she needs her family around her" Mom spoke for Dad, who had his eyes focused on the small coffee stain on the floor.

"That's the main reason as to why we're moving, but to be honest Gerard, someone broke our window, they could be planning something that may actually harm this family. I'm not prepared to wait around to find out" Mom stated, speaking quickly so that I couldn't interrupt. I couldn't leave. I just couldn't. My Grandma lived in New York, I didn't want to be that far away from Frank.

"How could you do this without telling us?" I asked venomously, I couldn't believe our parents had managed to go behind our backs with something as big as this. Surely we had a right to know?

"We put the house up for sale on the internet and held viewings when you were both at school. We didn't want to tell you because if it didn't sell we would've told you for no reason." Mom paused to look at my father who was still staring intently at that coffee stain.

"But it did sell, a young couple put in an offer that we'd be stupid to refuse. They were stuck between this house and another a few blocks down, but apparently ours was more suitable so they put the offer in and we accepted. We leave tomorrow morning" She spoke quickly, avoiding my eye contact.

"I can't go" I hissed, anger and desperation flowing through my veins, clouding my vision. Looking back at it, I could've acted calmer with my parents but I just didn't want to leave Frank so soon after we'd gotten together. He was the best thing to have ever happened in my life and I couldn't just get up and leave. Mikey seemed to be in shock, his eyes were wide and I could've sworn I saw him blink back tears.

"You don't have a choice" My Mom spoke as if she was trying to retain some tranquillity in her voice, but I could sense her irritation with my 'irrational' behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore; I got up and stormed down to my basement bedroom, making sure I slammed the door as loud as I could.

A variety of different emotions ran through my body, anger was the most prominent, but as I lay quietly on my bed, breathing in and out slowly, attempting to calm myself, the anger began to subside. Desperation was the next feeling to fill the void that the anger had left. And finally, I felt despair. The whole thing was hopeless, I should never have expected for me and Frank to live a fairytale ending. It just doesn't work like that. But whenever I felt desperation, I'd put pen to paper. And that's exactly what I decided to do, I would write Frank that poem, or at least attempt to write it.

I sauntered over to my desk and pushed all of the crumpled pieces of paper out of the way before opening my writing pad and grabbing a pen. I pictured Frank in my mind, his spiky black hair, his glistening hazel eyes, his shining lip ring and his perfect physique as I began writing my poem. I couldn't prevent the feeling of loss that travelled through my heart and spilled out onto the paper in front of me.

'_If there's a place that I could be,  
>Then I'd be another memory,<br>Can I be the only hope for you?  
>Because you're the only hope for me. <em>

_If you feel at all distant, remember I'm here,  
>No matter how far, in your heart , I am near.<br>Just call out my name and I'll follow your voice,  
>Whatever you choose, you have made the right choice.<em>

_I love you more than my words can explain,  
>No matter the heartache, the tears and the pain. <em>

_And if we can't find where we belong,  
>We'll have to make it on our own,<br>Face all the pain and take it on,  
>Because the only hope for me is you alone.<em>

_And if you stay, I would even wait all night,  
>or until my heart explodes.<br>How long? Until we find our way,  
>In the dark and out of harm,'<em>

I tapped my pen on my desk out of pure exasperation; I wasn't sure how to finish the poem. It was just so typical that I'd structure the poem and not be able to finish it. I was about to give up when suddenly, something Frank had said to me when I'd first met him hit me like a lightning bolt. It was perfect. I quickly jotted down the last line, bringing the poem to a perfect close.

'_You can runaway with me, anytime you want' _

I stared at the writing on the paper for a while. I was proud of my work, but I couldn't help but feel down. I didn't want to have to give Frank the poem because I didn't want to have to leave him. But it was inevitable; I'd have to go wherever my parents went.

I glanced towards the clock that was perched on my desk and was shocked that it was already 7pm. I always got carried away when I began writing and the time would just slip through my fingers. Mom and Dad would be calling me for dinner soon, even though I really didn't want to speak to them at that moment in time. But I'd have to figure out some way to be civil with them.

I fumbled around in my bottom drawer where I'd stored a load of blank envelopes back when I had a pen-pal from England I'd met on holiday years ago. I wasn't quite sure how exactly we'd lost touch, but I used to really enjoy writing to him and ranting about my day. I pulled out an A4 brown paper envelope and placed it in front of me. I picked up a clean sheet of paper and quickly jotted down, 'Happy Birthday Frank' before slipping both sheets of paper into the envelope. However, before I sealed the packet, I had a brain wave.

I ran upstairs, ignoring my parent's efforts to start a conversation and went straight to the kitchen cabernet, where I instantly found exactly what I was looking for. Satisfied, I ran down the stairs to my room, shut the door quickly behind me and headed straight to my desk once again. Without a hesitation I hurriedly, disconnected the two items and popped the key in the envelope. I added five more words to the sheet of paper wishing Frank a Happy Birthday.

'_The key to my heart'_

Yes, looking back at it, it was rather cheesy, but I wanted to show Frank just how much he meant to me. I sealed the envelope and left the lock next to it. I scribbled Frank's name onto the front of the envelope and sat back in my chair pleased with my efforts. I was forced out of my daydream by the sudden vibration of my phone. I whipped it out quickly and my heart skipped a beat when I saw who was calling me.

"Frank" I whispered, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. Hearing his voice was like music to my ears.

"Hey, I can't talk for too long, I'm almost at my Grandparents and you know what they're like with phones" Frank laughed into his speaker. Was it possible that I already missed him?

"How are you?" He asked, starting the conversation with the usual greetings.

"I'm okay, I guess, you?" I asked, I didn't really want to go into detail about the move just yet. I knew I'd have to tell him, but it'd be nice to just be able to talk to him, like this whole thing wasn't happening.

"The same. I miss you already Gee" Frank sighed and I wanted nothing more than to run to him and embrace him in the biggest hug imaginable.

"I miss you too Frank" I replied, my heartstrings began tugging in my chest.

"Frank, I'm moving" I blurted, unable to stop myself. There was silence on the other end of the phone, I wished I could've held on to tell him but I couldn't. He needed to know and he needed to know now.

"Frank?" I asked, worried that he'd hung up.

"W-What do you mean you're moving?" He whispered, his voice breaking. I felt terrible; I didn't ever want to cause Frank pain. I loved him so much that I'd do anything to prevent him from any harm.

"My parents. They're worried, my Grandma's ill, we're moving to stay near her. I just found out" I said quickly, biting back my depression.

"When do you go?" Frank stuttered, I could tell he was trying to be strong but I could hear that he was fighting back tears.

"Tomorrow" I couldn't help the tears that began flowing freely from my eyes. My chest stung and my heart ached, I couldn't leave Frank, I had to find a way around it. I couldn't just leave, I'd never felt like that towards anyone before. I'd never believed in soul mates until I'd met Frank.

I _needed_ to say it.

I _needed_ to get it off my chest.

I _needed_ to tell Frank I loved him.

But then the phone line went dead.


	22. Chapter 22 I miss you so far

**A/N Hi guys! Hope everyone's well and not too annoyed at me for taking so long to update, yet again! SORRY it's taken so long! I'm pretty sure this is the second to last chapter and then it's all over D: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN. Ahem, sorry. Hope you like it and please review so I know if this story's going downhill xD Love y'all. **

**Blue,  
>Xo<strong>

**Chapter 22 – I miss you so far**

I clung to the brown paper parcel that contained my newly written poem as I stared around my empty bedroom. I couldn't believe how quickly the removal men had turned up and emptied out the house, it was as if they couldn't wait to get rid of us.

I hadn't spoken to Frank since he'd hung up on me the night before and it was tearing me apart. I'd sent him a few texts apologising and asking him to say something, anything, but I'd received no reply. All I wanted was a little sign that he still cared about me, I couldn't leave without knowing he was okay with me. It wasn't my fault we were moving, surely he'd understand that? I hoped that the reason he hadn't replied was because he'd arrived at his Grandparents and they didn't let him have his phone on. But part of me doubted that.

My eyes stung with the thought of not seeing Frank again, surely we could work out some sort of long-distance relationship? It couldn't be that hard could it? But then again, I could barely last half an hour without seeing him. I couldn't bear the thought of only seeing him once a month, my heart ached at the thought of him. Perhaps I should end it with him to make this whole situation easier, I thought to myself.

"Gerard" Mom spoke softly from the door to my bedroom, I hadn't heard her walk down the stairs. I'd been too caught up in my own thoughts. My grip tightened around the parcel, I couldn't take the pain of leaving much longer.

"Gerard it's time to go" My heart splintered into hundreds of tiny pieces at my Mom's words. It wouldn't surprise me if it never healed again. I stood in the middle of my room, slowly looking around and memorising ever inch of the room I'd grown up in. From the left corner where my pet spider 'Charlie' used to live when I was six, I say a pet, but in reality it was just a little spider that had stayed in the same spot for two weeks straight. I smiled when I remembered how upset I'd been when my Mom had vacuumed him up. After that, I'd become increasingly terrified of spiders, which was rather odd seeing how much I'd loved 'Charlie'. I then turned towards my desk where I'd written all my morbid poetry, painted all my paintings and finally written the poem for Frank.

My eyes then lingered to where my bed had been, where I'd first freaked out when I'd heard Frank was coming over and I'd realised I had a crush on my brother's best friend. Finally, my attention was captured by the door, where Frank and I had shared our first and last, really intimate moment. Tears welled up in my eyes as my Mom walked slowly over to me and draped her arms over my shoulders.

"Cheer up buttercup." She smiled, rubbing her hands comfortingly up and down my arms.

"I know what you're thinking. But your room at the new house will be just as nice and dismal as this one" Mom joked, attempting to make me laugh, but she soon realised I was far from the joking-mood. At that moment, I doubted I'd ever even be able to smile again.

"Frank can come and stay whenever he wants. He's always welcome" My Mom whispered, understanding exactly why I was so down. The second the words escaped her lips, my tears began to fall rapidly, coating my cheeks in lines of salty water.

"Oh honey" My Mom muttered as she hugged me tighter. I'm not entirely sure how long I cried for, but it felt like hours. I cried until my eyes stung and my throat croaked, I couldn't help the little hiccups that followed. Similar to the ones that little children get when they'd been crying over a toy they desperately wanted but weren't allowed. I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw a tantrum, cling to my door and refuse to let go. But I couldn't, it wouldn't solve anything. I had to grow up, I had to grow up and deal with all the shit that life threw at me.

I could feel the thick cloud of depression begin to flood over me, the feeling I hadn't felt since before I'd met Frank. It crept towards my mouth and slid down my throat, running through my veins and possessing me with hopelessness as I poured my heart out through my eyes on my Mother's shoulder.

We arrived at the new house late that evening. I said nothing to my parents for the whole day and they seemed to understand that I needed space, even Mikey didn't try and make conversation with me, he seemed just as down as I was. I spent the evening lying in my new bedroom with the curtains drawn, with only a single candle as my light source.

I turned on my side, towards the glowing ember and stared as the flames licked into the air, slowly dancing upwards into the abyss of the cold dark room. I always found it interesting that some things as dangerous as fires could be so beautiful and alluring. Almost like Frank, it was supposedly, 'forbidden' for anyone to fall in love with the same sex and I'd always thought that I was straight, until he'd come along and captured me with his beauty and his angelic nature. Frank was the fire in my life, he was my light, my anchor, and without him I'd be thrust back into the darkness. I used to sit in the dark, for hours on end just swimming in my own thoughts and slowly, as Frank entered my life; I started having the lights on more often.

I symbolised the light by my bedside as hope. It wasn't the end of our relationship, nor our friendship for that matter, I wouldn't let it end, I was going to fight for us. I snatched my phone from next to the candle and the movement caused the candle to flicker but it didn't blow out which made me smile, perhaps that was a sign that hope was truly still there. I quickly opened a new message and typed out my text.

'_Frank. I'm not going to let this affect us. I'm going to fight for us. Xo_'

And that decided it for me; I didn't care about what trouble I'd get in with my family. I _had _to do this, no matter what. I knew I wouldn't receive a reply from Frank as he'd be with his Grandparents and so I switched my phone off almost immediately after the text was sent and shut my eyes. I fell asleep to the light sound of the candle flickering and with a smile of excitement placed upon my face.

I woke later than I'd planned and so daylight was flooding through the crack in the curtains, marbling the wooden floor with patterns of leaves. I jumped up instantly realising it must be at least eleven in the morning as I was feeling slightly lethargic as I usually do after I've slept for quite a long time.

I walked through my unusually pale door, down the hideous corridor stained with putrid green paint and skipped down the bare steps. It was weird having a bedroom upstairs, I'd grown up in my basement bedroom and so had never experienced waking up with that amount of light flooding through the windows and I certainly wasn't going to get used to it.

I skidded through the dining room and towards the small box kitchen that was at the front of the house where Mikey was buttering some toast, his shoulders were slumped, his eyes were bloodshot and his sandy brown hair, which is usually perfectly straight, was dishevelled.

Something was seriously wrong.

"Mikes?" I asked quietly, walking slowly towards my wrecked brother. He jumped at my words and almost dropped his knife on the floor.

"Mikey, are you okay?" I whispered, walking closer to him and placing my hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me, his eyes raw and stained with tears.

"No" He spoke barely above a whisper, his bottom lip was trembling and he looked paler than me, which was extremely peculiar. I stared back at him, trying to read some of the signs on his face which would give me some indication as to why he looked such a mess but barely had a chance as he spun round abruptly and sat at the small kitchen table that was squashed into the corner of the room.

"Want to tell me about it?" I asked worriedly. Mikey and I hadn't spoken about our feelings for an awfully long time and I hoped he still trusted me with whatever was affecting him. I sat in the chair opposite him and watched as he picked apart his piece of white bread.

"It's Alicia" He moaned, staring down at the toast as if it were a squished bug on his plate. I waited patiently for him to go, to let him know that I was prepared to listen and finally have the brother to brother talk we'd been missing out on for so long.

"I spoke to her a few weeks ago." He paused to see my reaction, obviously pleased with my comforting smile, he continued.

"We started talking practically every day. She's even lovelier than I first thought" Mikey sighed, pushing the plate away from him with an expression of disgust planted on his face.

"She told me she likes me"

"She likes you? That's great Mikes!" I couldn't hide the enthusiasm in my voice, the girl Mikey had been pursuing for who knows how long, had finally come around and realised how great a guy he is. I was surprised with how un-phased Mikey looked, he'd waited so long, finally worked up the courage _and _she liked him back! He should be beaming with happiness, not wallowing in self pity.

"Is it Gerard? Is it so great that just as I get the girl of my dreams we move? Or, that she can't do long distance relationships? Because it sure doesn't feel great, it feels crap!" Mikey groaned irritably. I mentally face-palmed, how could I have been so stupid? I knew exactly how it felt to get the love of your life and with a snap of the fingers, have them taken away. I was in the exact same situation as Mikey.

"I'm sorry Mikey. I know exactly how you feel though" I whispered, endeavouring to smile at him.

"It's even worse when you tell the person and they hang up on you" I added, fiddling with a piece of Mikey's discarded toast.

"Frank hung up on you?" Mikey asked, calmer than before.

"Yea" I muttered through gritted teeth trying hard not to cry. But the familiar sting of tears filled my eyes once again.

"Don't take it personally, Frank gets angry when he's upset, he always has" Mikey responded, attempting to cheer me up. Although Mikey's words were comforting, I couldn't help but feel a sting of pain that I didn't know that.

"I suppose" I replied, staring down, the bad mood from the night before had resumed.

"He really, really likes you Gerard. You'll find a way to work around this. I know you will" He pulled himself up and groggily put the kettle on. The rising steam seemed to ghost around him and as it wafted around his face I saw him slowly breath it in and it seemed to be calming him down. I was going to tell Mikey my plan; I was going to spill it all to him. Perhaps he'd want an input in my little scheme.

"Gerard?" Mikey asked, snapping me from my internal conversation.

"Hmm?" I responded picking up the cold toast and throwing it into the little bin that was perched at the end of the table.

"Do you think I'll ever be able to get over Alicia?"

"Of course you'll be able to. But you have to _want _to get over her" I replied, as he poured the boiling water into two chipped mugs he'd accumulated from the cupboard by the oven.

"What do you mean?" His brow furrowed at my statement and in response, I simply smiled.

"Gerard? What're you planning?" He sounded worried now, as if I were planning to assonate the president or something. Which I would never do just for the record. I mean, I am messed up, but I'm not _that _messed up. I could never kill anyone; I wouldn't be able to live with myself after if I did. I didn't understand how anyone could take someone's life from them and live with the guilt of the pain that they'd caused so many people. It just didn't make sense to me. Then again, would I feel differently if the person was out to hurt Frank? The thought of Frank caused my heart to ache yet again, I missed him so much.

"Gerard" Mikey's voice shocked me from my train of thought. He was standing, holding the spoon pointedly in my direction and a serious, worried facade.

"Oh dude, chill. I'm not planning on killing anyone or anything" I joked and Mikey seemed to relax a little. Did he really think I was that disturbed?

"Then what?" He asked, bringing the two coffees wobbly to the table. It wouldn't surprise me if the coffee spilled over the edges of the mugs he was shaking that much. It would be uncharacteristic of Mikey if he were to drop the coffee though, as he saw every single last drop as sacred.

"I'm getting out of here" I smiled, ecstatic with my plan.

"I'm going to find Frank"


	23. Chapter 23 Don't look back

**A/N I have to apologise for how long this has taken me to update D: I've been seriously ill, again, it's like one illness has hit me after another. Totally uncool. Anyways, this is kinda a filler chapter because I NEED to update and so the next chapter will be MUCH longer and will be the end of this D: Please review so I know if people are actually still reading this :/  
>Blue<br>Xo**

**Chapter 23 – Hold on tight and don't look back**

Mikey stared at me for what seemed like a few minutes but in reality was probably only a couple of seconds, he blinked once and then nodded determinedly.

"I'm coming with you" He stated.

"No Mikey, you don't have to" I argued helplessly, I knew it was pointless trying to change Mikey's mind on something like this, sometimes he was the hardest person to persuade.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. If you're going back to New Jersey to find Frank, I want to help you. Plus then I get to find Alicia" A smile spread across Mikey's face at the thought of the girl he'd been pursuing for God knows how long.

"Oh I see why you want to come now" I joked, downing the coffee he'd just placed down on the table and burning my tongue in the process. Mikey laughed at my pained expression and bounded across the room like an excitable puppy.

"When are we going?" He squealed eagerly, slipping over his own feet.

"Today. As soon as possible. But seriously, keep your voice down, you don't want Mom and Dad finding out" I could just imagine how my Mom would react to finding out I was going back to the potential, 'danger' she'd mentioned before.

"I'll look up a journey planner" he whispered sipping at his coffee repeatedly before skipping out of the dismal kitchen and making his way towards his new bedroom.

I quickly washed up my coffee mug in the tarnished sink before rushing upstairs to the room I was staying in. I'd never, never in a million years, call that my bedroom. It didn't belong to me. It was little more than a room. It was a box, almost a prison cell, keeping me from my first true love. But I was going to break out of it. I was going to find my boyfriend.

It wouldn't be too difficult to pack some of my things as they were all still all packed up in the dreary brown boxes. In fact, my Mom, being the organisation obsessive that she was, had written a list of every single item that was in each numbered box. If I could find her list, packing would be a piece of cake. As if she'd read my mind, my mother's gentle knock sounded from the other side of the hard wood door.

"Gerard honey, are you awake?" She called quietly.

"Yea, come in" I replied monotonously, I didn't want her to recognize my new, happier mood. She'd know something was up and the last thing I wanted to happen was to be found out. She poked her head around the door before stepping into the room.

"I know you probably don't really want to talk to me right now, but you probably want this room to seem more like your own, so I brought you your list" She smiled, and handed me the folded sheet of paper.

"Thanks Mom" I didn't look her in the eye as I took the paper off of her, if I made eye contact, I knew she'd break me and bring the truth out of me. I glanced down at the sheet until she'd finally gotten the message and shut the door quietly behind her. I wasted no time in unfolding the creases and staring at the bar graph my Mom had formulated.

I first looked for my toothbrush, as that was essential, it was all well and good turning up on Frank's doorstep and confessing my love, but with bad breath, he'd never take me seriously. I searched the sheet and found that it was in box 12 along with my deodorant, toothpaste, and my treasured Skeleton Kigurumi.

Next, I went to box 8 that contained my favourite pair of black skinnies and then I turned to box number 2 which held a number of black and grey shirts that I'd thought would be easiest to pack. Finally, I searched for my Misfits hoodie, studded belt and my treasured red tie that my Grandma had given me.

That train of thought hit me pretty badly.

My Gran was ill.

And I was running away from her.

I felt terrible.

But I couldn't change my mind now, I'd told Frank I was going to fight for him and hell, I was going to fight my damned hardest.

I finished stuffing the clothing and my wallet into my backpack and sat on the plain, dull bed sheets. My mind recapped on the events of the journey the night before, from the quiet, emotional drive to deliver Frank's parcel I'd put together and then, to this dim, lonely house.

I'm not sure how long I sat in silence staring out at the midday sun sinking into a deep pool of my thoughts of Frank, before Mikey tapped on the door and slipped into the room. He wasted no time in sitting down on the bed next to me and relaying his plan.

"The train station is half an hour walk from here, there's a train at four that will take us to New Jersey. We'll get there early tomorrow morning." I saw the excitement glisten in my brother's hazel eyes. This was really going to happen, we were really going _home_.

"I bought the tickets already and printed off the receipt so that when we get to the station we can just trade it in for our tickets" Mikey said pulling two sheets of paper out of his over the shoulder bag. It seemed that my Mother's compulsive organisation had somewhat rubbed off on Mikey.

"We need to leave a note or something" I muttered awestruck at Mikey's enthusiasm.

"Yea, otherwise Mom would worry like hell" Mikey replied, folding the pieces of paper and shoving them in his wallet. I jumped up from the bed and walked towards my desk that had been quickly placed in the room the night before, a box of my stationary was placed upon it and my favourite notebook rested on the top. I curved my fingers around the familiar hardened cover and pulled it out along with my blue fountain pen. I returned to my position on the bed and sat with my legs crossed as I racked my brain for something to write.

'_Mom, Dad'_

I wrote.

'_Mikey and I have gone back to New Jersey, this will never be our home. Please don't worry about us. We'll find a way to get by, we just can't leave Belleville yet. _

_Sorry_

_G  
>Xo'<em>

I scribbled the words quickly and held up the finished letter for Mikey to read. He nodded in approval and then said, "We're really doing this".

"We really are Mikes"


	24. Chapter 24 I mean this, forever

**A/N Well guys, this is it D: All your reviews have made me so, so, so happy and so determined to keep writing, whether it's a Frerard or not. I really appreciate you all for taking the time to read every chapter and letting me know what you think of it. I'm getting all emotional and I don't know why xD I hope this chapter makes up for any of the shitty or short chapters because this one is LONG. Again, thank you so much for reading, you're all amazing and I love you :3 For the last time, please review and let me know what you think :) And follow me on twitter EleanorMCRdeRoy – let me know you read this and I'll follow you back :3 SO MUCH LOVE. **

**L / Blue  
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**Chapter 24 – I mean this, forever.**

We arrived at the train station fifteen minutes early, so we had enough time to draw some money out at a cash point to keep us going. Leaving the house was a lot more easy than I'd anticipated, Mom and Dad had been invited into the neighbors house for coffee, so they could 'get to know one another'. Mikey and I had also been invited but, understandably, we both politely declined, providing suitable excuses. As soon as we believed the coast was clear, we sprinted out of the house and didn't stop until we knew we were out of sight of the house.

The whole fifteen minutes we were waiting for the train, Mikey was practically bouncing up and down on the spot with excitement and nerves. I couldn't look at him because every time I did a laugh would escape my lips, although, he looked exactly how I felt. Eventually the train rolled up onto our platform and we jumped onto the train. I always felt really anxious when getting on trains, I always got these little visions of my friend getting on the train and just as I get to the doors, they would slam shut in front of me and I'd be stuck at the station. I'd then attempt to text the person who had managed to get the train asking them where I should meet them, but the text would refuse to send due to poor signal. I suppose I was a little paranoid seeing as it never actually happened, but the thought would always cross my mind.

I sat down in the blue and yellow striped seat next to the window and watched as the world blurred past in a mixture of green, blue and white. The train was unusually quiet, with people scattered about the carriage, listening to their iPods or reading the newspaper. Next to me, Mikey's watch kept reflecting light into my eyes, glowing from the afternoon sun, every time he turned the page in his book.

I couldn't really read on the train, I couldn't look down for any period of time when travelling as I'd start to get this sickly feeling. I'd had it ever since I was a child and I envied those people that could sit in the car and read for hours, where I was stuck doing nothing but staring out the window and even sometimes that would make me feel sick. So instead of reading on the train, I just put my headphones in and tapped my foot along to Astro Zombies by The Misfits. If I ever became a musician, I'd cover Astro Zombies, it'd always been one of my favourite songs by The Misfits and I felt like I should play homage to them as whenever I was down I would listen to them and slowly but surely they'd begin to cheer me up.

I was bought back to the present when my phone vibrated in my pocket, I quickly pulled it out and groaned when I saw that my Mom had texted me three times, each text sounding more worried than the last.

'_Where are you and Mikey? Xx_' I read the text before holding my phone up for Mikey to see. When he'd finished reading it, I opened the next text.

'_Gerard, we got your note. Come home so we can discuss it. Dinner's at six. X_' Again I read the text and then showed it to Mikey, who bit his lip worriedly in reply.

'_Gerard. You and Michael better be home in an hour or you're grounded. Get home. Now._'

When I showed Mikey the last text I saw the panic in his eyes, I saw the internal debate with himself through the movement of his hands, twirling his fingers around and tapping his foot nervously. The texts from my Mom were not going to stop me though.

"Mikey. We've gotten this far. I'm not turning back now" I stated, looking him straight in the eye and hoping that I provided some sort of reassurance.

"We'll be grounded for life" Mikey smiled, I knew he was trying to make things more light hearted but I could still see that he was deliberating on what to do.

"Maybe, but at least we'll get to see Frank and Alicia first" With those words Mikey seemed to calm down and stopped fidgeting so much. I felt like I couldn't just leave it there, Mikey needed to talk and hell, I'd talk as much as humanly possible if it kept him from freaking out.

"Have you texted Alicia to tell her?" I asked, wondering if he wanted it to be a surprise for her like I did for Frank.

"No, not yet. Do you think I should?" He replied, looking down nervously at his phone.

"It's up to you. I'm not telling Frank, but I did text him last night" As I spoke, I quickly replied to the text my Mom had sent, stating that me and Mikey were not going to be returning back to that house and that we were going back to Belleville and were going to stay there as long as we could. I didn't want to argue with my parents and so I tried to be as polite as possible.

"What did you say? Did he reply?" Mikey asked, snapping me back to conversation. I placed phone on the little table between us and tried to hide the stab of pain I felt when Mikey had asked if Frank had replied to me.

"I said I was going to fight for us, but no, he didn't reply" The last part of my sentence caught in my throat and I tried to disguise it as a cough, but Mikey saw right through me, it was stupid of me to think I could hide my true feelings from my brother. He'd always been able to tell how I was really feeling, even better than I knew myself.

"Oh. Well you know what his Grandparents are like; they practically lock him away from technology the second he steps through their door. I'm sure he'll reply as soon as he gets his phone back" Mikey said cheerily, attempting to cheer me up.

"Yea, I'm sure he will" I tried to sound optimistic but it just seemed to come out as hopelessly as I felt. Before I had time to start moaning further, Mikey opened his bag up and pulled out two baguettes filled with what looked like ham and cheese and handed me one, smiling brightly.

"I thought we might get hungry" He shrugged. I couldn't help but smile, he really was so similar to our Mom with her obsessive organization it was unreal. But I was extremely grateful to Mikey as, as soon as I took the first bite out of the baguette I realized just how hungry I was.

When we finished eating, we started sharing childhood memories; it was so nice to just talk to Mikey again. I mean, we'd had a few catch-up's since Frank and I had gotten together but none as long as this. It seemed like we talked for hours, from when the sun was still high in the sky right until it disappeared behind the hills we were passing.

Mikey seemed to had fallen asleep exceptionally quickly, he literally put his head back for about a second before his breathing changed and slipped into sleep mode. I could never really sleep that quickly, I always thought before I fell asleep, I'd think about what had happened that day and play out scenarios in my mind, time would always tick by faster when I was just lying in bed thinking. But on the train, I kept thinking about Frank. What if he didn't want me to go back to him? I mean, he had hung up on me. You don't hang up on someone that you still like, do you?

Eventually I convinced myself to stop worrying and had to count backwards from 100 to help me calm down, I got to 64 before I fell asleep.

When I woke, it was still dark out, but the train had come to a halt and Mikey was stood over me, picking his bag up and throwing it onto his back.

"We're home Gee!" Mikey squealed happily. I didn't know the exact time, but I knew it was far too early for him to be so excitable.

"Yaaaay" I spoke monotonously, with a hint of sarcasm in my voice. Although, I was unbelievably happy that we were back in New Jersey, I just couldn't quite show it yet.

"Now get your fat ass up off that seat and go find Frank" And with that, Mikey span on the heel of his foot and jumped off the train. Groggily I followed him, muttering how un-fat I was under my breath.

The big black clock on the side of the station stated that it was five in the morning and so we must've got roughly about six hours sleep that night. I was surprised I hadn't woken in the middle of the night, normally I can't sleep too well when travelling but I seemed to have had a rather good night sleep.

"It's far too early" I groaned as Mikey lead us through the barriers of New Jersey station out towards the familiar main road that we could walk straight along for half an hour before we'd reach the turning towards our road.

"I'm gonna smell when I see Frank" I moaned breathing in the fresh morning air.

"Shut up your moaning Gee!" Mikey laughed, nudging me in the back to force me to start walking.

"Can't you be positive?"

"Positive about what? Smelling when I confess my love to my boyfriend? That's not really something to be positive about?" I was not a morning person and I was proving that to Mikey with each word that slurred out of my mouth.

"Actually, positive because you have the best brother in the world" Mikey beamed, skipping ahead of me and walking backwards so I could see the huge mischievous smile spread across his face.

"Oh God, what've you done?" I stopped in my tracks, refusing to move until Mikey told me exactly why he was looking so proud of himself.

"I may have texted, well, woken Ray up and begged him to use his facilities. So no, you won't smell. You're a-welcome" Mikey dragged out the last word just to dig it in that I hadn't thought of doing anything like that.

"Thanks Mikey" I mumbled, not wanting to give him any more reason to brag than he already had. I glanced around the dark morning, looking up towards the stars that still glistened in the sky and I was pulled back into the past. When I'd fist spent time with Frank, the same night I'd idiotically put my head in a pizza box. I smiled at the memory and suddenly my irritable mood had disintegrated and instead been filled with hope.

We arrived at Ray's at exactly five thirty-four, he'd left the key under the outside mat so that we could just sneak in quietly, drop our stuff off in his 'den', use his downstairs shower and then go our separate ways. Ray had also apparently said to Mikey we could stay at his until we figured out what we were going to do, whether Ray's parents knew we'd run away from home or not was another story. It felt so good to be back home, not necessarily the home where we'd grown up, but in the same area, surrounded by familiarities, like Ray's house. I'm not sure why I'd expected it to look different, but I just didn't think things would be the same. But they were, everything was in the exact same place where they'd always been.

I showered first while Mikey sat in the den and watched crappy kids TV. I quickly washed myself and then started on my hair, laughing when I read that the shampoo was 'specially designed to de-frizz even the most uncontrollable hair', Ray's hair was extremely uncontrollable and clearly the shampoo wasn't helping at all. But even so, it smelt like cherries and I felt a lot cleaner when I stepped out of the shower.

I hate stepping out of showers into the bathroom, the room always seems to have dropped in temperature and it feels like you're walking into a fridge. Luckily there was a big lilac towel hanging on a radiator next to the shower so I didn't have to stand in the cold for too long. I slipped my favourite black skinnies and black shirt onto my newly cleaned body, before I tied my red tie around my neck and slipped my studded belt through the loops in my jeans.

I stepped out of the bathroom to see Mikey standing in the doorway, the sight of him almost made me jump out of my skin but luckily for us I didn't scream. The last thing we needed was to wake the whole house up.

"Good luck" Mikey smiled, before embracing me in a massive bear hug.

"Thanks, you too" I beamed back, I'd never felt so determined in my life.

"I'm going to sleep for a bit before I go and see Alicia, I don't think she'd appreciate being woken up" Mikey whispered quietly and all I could do was nod in response, it's not that I didn't care about what Mikes was saying, it was just that I was desperate to go and see Frank. As if I'd said the words out loud, Mikey nodded at me in permission for me to go, I wasted no time in flinging myself out the front door and I couldn't help myself from sprinting down the road.

I ran through West Hudson park, not even worrying about how dangerous it gets there, especially late at night or the early hours of the morning, I whizzed past school where Frank and I had spent day after day with each other, I quickly passed Lyn-Z's house where I'd truly realized I'd fallen for Frank and I sprinted past the shops where Frank had said to me I could run away with him, whenever I wanted.

Eventually I rounded the corner towards Frank's house; I ran straight up to the door and paused. I hadn't thought this part through, I couldn't exactly start banging on the door, I'd need to respect his neighbors and I couldn't be all romantic and throw stones at Frank's window because his room wasn't at the front of the house. And then it hit me. What if Frank wasn't even home yet?

He hadn't texted me, to say he was on his way home, but would he text me anyway?

I quickly did some calculations in my mind.

Today was Monday.

Monday was Halloween.

It was Frank's birthday.

I rested my head against the cool wood of Frank's door. I'd just wait there until I head movement inside, then I'd knock on the door and tell Frank how much he meant to me. The sun was only beginning to rise and so oranges and purples swirled around in the beautiful early morning sky. As I glanced down towards my feet, I noticed the amount of post inside of the house. Including my parcel, Frank couldn't be home yet. I'd just have to wait for him to arrive.

"Gerard?" A voice called behind me. I spun round quickly to see who had called my name. My heart began to beat faster than humanly possible as I took in every inch of who was standing in front of me.

Frank was standing in front of his car, next to his Mom who was holding a huge bag. I couldn't help the tears that began to form in my eyes and I couldn't stop myself from running to Frank and enveloping him in my arms. I was so wrapped up in seeing Frank that I forgot he might not be so happy to see me as I was to see him, but I didn't care and relief flooded over me when I felt Frank wrap his arms around me just as tightly as mine were around him.

"I'll go take this inside" Frank's Mom said more to herself than Frank and I as she slipped inside the house.

The water that had formed in my eyes started pouring down my cheeks in bittersweet waterfalls of tears. I pulled out of the embrace and cupped Frank's face in my hands so I could look him directly in the eye.

"Frank. I love you. I love you more than I could ever love anyone. I could never leave you, I could never move away. You mean the world to me." I said the words quickly tripping over them so that some of them slurred into one another.

"I love you too Gerard" Frank whispered and I saw in his eyes, the same tears that had formed in mine. I pulled his face close to mine so that our lips crushed against each other. I forgot how amazing it felt to kiss him, I forgot how beautiful it felt to hold him, to run my hands through his hair, to just be with him.

Frank broke the kiss by taking my hand and pulling me through the door to his house and up towards his bedroom. We passed his Mom on the way in, who watched us stumble up the stairs and merely smiled.

As soon as we reached his room, Frank shut the door quietly behind himself.

"I love you Gerard. I love you" Frank whispered quietly, drawing my lips back to his. This kiss started more gentle than the last, until our tongues met. I ran my fingers through his hair, consequently pulling his head closer to mine and so our lips opened and parted in a wet passion. We seemed to fall messily onto the bed where Frank proceeded to pin me down. He ripped my black shirt off of my body and threw it carelessly over his head. He then moved onto his own shirt, unbuttoning it in a painfully slow, teasing fashion. When he'd eventually finished, his shirt joined mine on the floor. He began nibbling on my neck, instantly causing me to let out an embarrassingly loud moan but instead of Frank laughing as I'd expected him too, he moaned into my neck forcing me to become even more turned on.

I was so hypnotized with the magic Frank was doing to my neck that I almost jumped when suddenly Frank began running his fingers lightly up and down my chest. My hands moved down from his hair, slowly copying Frank's movements they began to run up and down his back at the same speed Frank was running his fingers delicately across my chest.

The pressure he applied with his fingers began increasing and making their way further towards my crotch each time, causing me to groan with impatience and pleasure and forcing Frank to remove his lips from my neck and lift himself off my chest to wink at me. My neck felt extremely sensitive from the area Frank had been working on, and I knew that I'd been left with a patch of purple skin.

Before Frank had time to tease me further I lifted my leg and wrapped it around his waist so we had switched places. I moved my hand at an excruciatingly slow speed down Frank's chest, when I reached the edge of his pants, I moved my body so that I could quickly unzip them and pull them off of him, leaving him in just his boxers. I smirked at the bulge in his underwear and brushed my hand extremely slowly over his hardened member. His eyes rolled back and his toes curled in as he grabbed fistfuls of my hair and pulling me back towards his lips catching my breath in my throat. I swiftly pulled back and hurriedly pulled off my own jeans, while Frank fumbled in his drawer, pulled out a small square package and flicked it at me.

I'd never had sex with a guy before and so saying I was nervous, was an understatement. But still, I grabbed the condom and placed it on the side of the bed. Gradually I began slipping Frank's boxers off, leaving him exposed to the cool air. I placed my lips against his once more, kissing ferociously before I pulled away and kissed all along his jaw line, down his neck and proceeded to kiss down his chest, stopping just before his crotch. I teasingly ran a finger along the length of his dick, I did this twice before I decided to make things more interesting and replace my finger with my tongue.

Frank's groans were coming thick and fast by this point and that was enough for me, I tore open the condom and placed it over my own hard-on. I'd read about gay marriage and gay sex before and so I knew you had to 'prepare' your partner before, but I was so conscious of hurting Frank that I went so slowly, we must have been in the room for hours.

I looked him in the eye, as if asking for permission, but he had his eyes shut tightly as if he knew what was about to happen.

I moved one finger into him slowly, curving it around so that Frank could get used to the feel of it, he seemed to become accustomed to it rather quickly and so I added a second finger. His breath caught in his throat and his eyes closed even tighter.

"Sorry" I whispered, pausing, unsure whether to continue.

"Carry on" Frank replied, through gritted teeth.

I did as I was told and so continued to move the two fingers in and out of Frank, I then began to scissor them apart, and I'd been doing that for what felt like five minutes when Frank moaned in pleasure. I pulled my fingers out with no hesitation and lined my dick up with him, I slowly pushed in and gasped in pleasure at the tightness I was feeling. Flashes of electricity bolted throughout my veins and pulled me closer to Frank. I moved slow to begin with, gaining speed slowly, until Frank let out a moan that sent shivers down my spine. I couldn't control myself anymore and it seemed that Frank couldn't either. Our bodies crushed together, moving harmoniously in a sweaty mess of flesh on flesh.

He ran a foot up and down one of my legs before he wrapped both legs around my waist, my back arched over him as he dug his nails in to my back, scratching up and down. Our lips collided in a furious passion, our tongues flicking and dancing with each other's. Each movement provided a pleasure more powerful than the last, the speed was increasing, the pleasure building, our visions blurring and our bodies twitching in intense passion. I fumbled my hand around Frank's cock and began pumping in unison with my thrusts, the sweat building, making it easier to move my hand up and down. A huge moan escaped my lips as I felt myself explode inside of Frank, my eyes rolled back in my head as Frank also climaxed, his moans only making me even more content.

I pulled out and collapsed onto the bed next to him.

We lay in silence, as the sun begins to rise outside of Frank's window, casting shadows of leaves blowing in the wind. Frank lays his head on my shoulder and I watch as his chest rises and falls, glistening with beads of perspiration.

"Move in with me" Frank whispers so quietly I'm unsure I've heard him correctly.

"Really?" I whisper back, my breath still coming out faster than normal.

"Yea, I begged my Mom all weekend and she said you and Mikey can come and live with us if you want" Frank replies, lifting his head so he can look me in the eyes. His eyes shine with something deeper than just passion, I see happiness and love within them.

"Thank you." I smile, trying to hold back the tears I feel welling up in my eyes.

"I thought you were angry at me." I whisper.

"What? Why?" Frank sounds shocked with my statement and I feel myself becoming confused.

"You hung up on me" I reply, feeling sorrowful at the memory.

"No I didn't, my phone ran out of battery" Frank laughs, burying his face against the nape of my neck once again.

"I'd never hang up on you" He says softly. I wrap my arms around my boyfriend as I stare up at the ceiling. I've never been so happy in my life and I know nothing in the world could ever ruin this for me. If my parents come back, I'll find a way to stay with Frank, I know I will. Because Frank is my soul mate and we can't _not _be together. Wherever he goes, I'll follow him into the dark, because without Frank, my life is not worth living.

"I love you so much Gerard and I mean this, forever." Frank says kissing my neck.

"I love you so much Frank and I will never stop loving you" I reply, before pausing and remembering what he said to me the first night we spent together.

"You know Frank." I pause as he lifts his head to look me in the eyes once again. The moment is perfect and I kiss Frank gently on the lips before I continue my sentence.

"You can runaway with me, anytime you want."


End file.
